h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi there...*waves hello*
How be things with you?
Would like a ? Or maybe a ?
Which intergers make seven Must of forgotten my brain today... or some such plausable excuse

17!
And no it take me that long to work it out...

greatings! yes i'm 17.... ? what flavour? I'm ok. Urself? I crave and icecream and choccie sauce...... i just left u anothery msg. ah well...
drop in anytime and we can debate the healthyness of a decent pint of beer........
btw guiness or guiness extra cold?
x

Most of the I dish out on this site is flavour, but I can make exception just for you, OK? *Presents a *

I'm good Glad you're OK. [though if you're not no need to feel you have to keep reality from me]
I'm fond of Bitter and Real Ale both of which are best served only very slightly below room temperature... I'm not really a drinker but bottled Guiness is OK... especialy if you mix in some Irish Creme

I'm off to read your entry on self-harm now, I'll comment in the thread on my space

An icecream not heard of one of them, but im sure its delicious. thank you kindly. Not a drinker! alas! but nermind. Myself i am anoddity being a and drinking .... Aah well. have a drink on me! Hope my article on SI didnt disturb u too much. Have some or as a thank you!
x

Am the something of a master of when it comes to electronic s... any flavour under the sun and beyond too can come ing folk direction
The first time I saw my now ex g/f's self injury I was mix of conflicting emotions, but not disturbed... I myself have self harmed... I haven't for almost a month now... apart from little punching of a wall... which does nothing good for all the micro fracture in my fist...me!
btw I hope nothing I said in the other thread was taken as criticism... I don't recall what I said but I don't see a reply in my conversations pop up window...
so...
Oooh and ...!
Would worry about being an oddity... strange = interesting = beautiful
I just prefer my and my
Hope to chat soon...

oddities are beauties? how does that work? I have just been informed that i has the lowest self confidence of any of my year group at college.. wooo for the psychoanalysts....
Im having a bad patch at the mo, my best friends girlfriend has been accusing me off coming on to my friend and it be truthfully honest i wish she'd get over it and find a problem that actually exists. But if i make it through all that, atleast I know that this friday I will have not SI - ed for 6months! wow ! !
it must be - have a celebratory
x

I felt desperate enough to make a few shallow cuts yesterday, a minor set-back in my progress...
But I shall salute your sucess!!! Yay!!!
Oddities *are* Beauties; it works because it is a truth. You may doubt this, but I think that would be because as oddity in the middle of a bad patch you don't have the insight to see right now

Hope to chat soon...

dont worri about shallow cutz, its al part of the recovery progress. I used to think of it as failure when i cut, but its not reali, just a minor setback. Anyway, good luck in the on going progress. Me - today I hit the 6months mark of no cutz! it feels good. Am going shopping in a mo to celebrate - my friend L@u has talked me into a trip to anne summers.

Anyway - stay strong and all will be well.



and ( flapoured for you)

Ooh, may i ask what you treated yourself to?

I'm trying to be strong, to get into the kinda thinking that only triggers more cutting... y'know... by congratulating myself on limiting the number of cuts and the depth etc... rather than looking at all nagtively and allowing other unrelated things to get thrown into the confusing mix...

Cheers! For the , .

How are you?

U may ask... my reward for 6months was... a red vibrator. lol. and the new queens of the stone age album. yey! At the moment, im reali happy, it exhausting though. I have a large bruise down my back at the mo from the weekend, but I wont say why coz this is hardly private. im sure u can imagine though.

Why do you cut? You dont have to answer that, im just curious.

and back again sugar plum
x

I can imagine

Have you seen this thread?
F19585?thread=256513

I cut when I cut becuse the blood calms me down, watching it flow and watching it clot I find gives some sort of solace and peace... i found that cutting was a way dealing with my desire to die without actualling trying to kill myself... now I take pills to keep me tranquilised and sedated but I'm building a kinda tolerance to the meds now and they aren't helping as much as they were, so i choose to start cutting again and show the cuts to the consultant to get them to increase my dose or take me back in as an in-patient, part of me wants to live, but only if I can live without wanting to die each day...
I self harm in other ways, pain make me feel alive sometimes, physical pain to take my mind off emotional pain, pain to release anger... I'd done alot of self harm before I started cutting, cutting is the one kind that I'm ashamed of to be honest...



May I add you to my 'friends list'?

Yeah - sure you can add me to your friends list. I was gona ask the same thing.

I've tried to die before. I used to overdose on anything I could find. Now im not allowed to take meds for over a year coz ive desensitised my system. (apart from antidepressants for some reason).

Why do you 'want' to die so to speak? I miss self harm, but i know that if i start again now i will feel like the biggest failure. I crave it more than anything else. When I quit 6 months ago I wanted physical contact more (from my boyfriend) but now i find when we do stuff together i want to go back to the pain. I tried to find ways of combining the two, like bondage (scuse me if im being too forward here, just say and i can stop) but my boy is too scared of hurting me and so it doesnt work. But he also said if i hurt myself he'll break up with me and so Im in turmoil coz I cant bear not being with him but i also want the pain. And then if I get the pain I'll be a failure. Its a vicious circle.

I hadnt seen the link... but now i may add my own views. hmmmmm
ok g2g now

x

You're added

Overdoses are what have been running through my mind recently, I'm ment to only be given a 14 day supply but some how they messed up at the pharmacy and gave me six weeks worth of pills!
All my meds plus the painkillers would kill me... but as the lovely Mort reminded me OD is a rather messy and painful way to go...
Mostly though I tend to think about tightening a leather around neck a slowly fading away as my body becomes starved of oxygen...

I'm getting morbid here.

What music/films/novels do you like love and adore?

I kinda think I 'deserve' to die, as punishment for being such a dull, ugly, stupid, selfish and worthless creature...

No you're not being too open, there's little that shocks me...

If it's at all possible don't think of it as not hurting yourself because he'll break up with you if you... that emotional blackmail which IMO isn't really fair, but not hurting yourself because you love yourself because he loves you... Does that make any kind of sense? I can't tell, I'm over tired.

That said I understand the hunger for the pain and I understand the feeling of being trapped in a vicious circle, for long time I was in much the same place...


Hope to chat soon...

thank you

Ouch - did you tell the pharmacy they gave you too much? Yes OD is a messy painful way to go - when i tried i obviously wasnt successful, but i was in hospital for ages and now i cant take any meds except perscription stuff and thats hell. I cant even take anything for period pain which kills me dead usually (not literally).

I think pain is beautiful. So i can understand what you say.

As for music - im a cellist so i like alot of classical, but then i also like my rock and chilled out stuff like dido, alicia keyes, INME, Phonics, the Streets and the Spooks and most othery stuff. The only thing i cant stand is cheesy pop, but then whats new?
Films - fave film ever is When Harry Met Sally. Did you ever see it? It is so totally the story of me and my best friend. Maybe thats why I like it?
Novels - well, if being on the site didnt show it enough, i do actually live my life aroung Hitchhiker. Its a way of life to me.
What about yourself?

Im sure you arent a 'dull, ugly, stupid, selfish and worthless creature...' Trust me I have had the same opinion of myself before and I still feel it abit these days, but its never as bad or as true as you think. If you believe that, what makes you believe it?

Glad to know theres little that shocks you, just i never know on what level to say things. I frequently go OTT.

I like talking to you. Its like you undersatnd the pain thing better than the people Im around alot. I guess its coz some of them have never self harmed so they dont know how it works in the mind. One of my best friends boyfriends started to cut, and he wouldnt let her see, so she came to me. Atleast she's beginning to understand me now.

and
x

Hi...
No I didn't tell them they'd given me too much.
Do you have period pain because you BMI is very low, ever tried a good old fashioned water bottle?

There are certain types of pain I find warm and comforting... And yes, even beautiful...

David Gray, Dido, Daisy Chainsaw, The Hives, Radiohead, Skunk Anasie, Garbage, Die, Krust, Suv, Kamanchi, Roni Size, Pharoahe Monch, Kci & JoJo, Muse, Tupac shakur, Notorious B.I.G., Outkast, Missy Eliot, Eminem, Mozart, Wagner, Systemof a Down, INXS, Pink Floyd... I call my musical taste eclectic because I like so many different artistes from different musicla genres...

I believe those things of myself for a complicated mixture of sometimes conflicting reasons. I shan't list them because I'm feeling OK and calm at the moment and thinking too much about the why's and wherefores of my self-loathing, and talking in too much detail, is something of a trigger...

With me as long as long what is said is honest and/or sincere then there is no OTT

I do understand, I also understand the frustration of feeling that no-one around truely understands...

Hi...
How are you?

Sorry sweetie - I've been away for a few days and Ive not had much chance to get online.
Anyhow... the good old hot water bottle never did m,uch for my pain. Im not sure why it's so bad, but atleast eventually I can takepain relief again. Im glad its not permenant that i cant.
My boyfriend asked me to explain the pain is beautiful concept to him, but Im not sure how to. I mean, its not reali something thats easy to explain, and especially not to him its like showing him my weak side. He's never even see me cry. That bothers me alittle. I can't cry infront of people, and I want to alot of the time. Its jsut the tears dont come. Then everyone is left with this image that I'm a reali strong person, when Im not.
I like your taste in music! Its kindy like mine. I wish dido would do some new stuff though. hmmmmmmmm.
Do you mind if i ask how old you are? Im meerly curious, and curiousity never killed the cat, atleast not this one...
Speak soon i hope
x
btw have a

It could be because you have low BMI(Body Mass Index).
I find tears only flow infront of others in the most extreme circumstances... Self injury is part of that, I don't like crying and self harm brings about the peace that stops the tears... so i don't have to be alone with my tears...

I wonder if it's something that someone that doesn't/hasn't experience those same/similar feelings through pain can understand...
I hope your b/f can make what must be a difficult leap in understanding
I layed bare almost all my weaknesses to my now ex girlfriend... I regret confiding that much in someone I nolonger have a great amount of trust in...
But your relationship may be strong enough for true honesty...
I'm 20.
for the . I'll have <stiffdrink to chase it down

Love and Hugs...
Stealth.

sorri ive not written all week. Im at my mums and she hates me using the net, so i do most stuff at college but im on holiday. i shud be back to normal by monday. so yeah - sorri

do you mind if i ask more about ur exgirlfriend? its just she seems to have quite a big impact on how you feel about yourself. With me, i had to explain things to my boy coz if i didnt i couldnt have had a relationship. The reason why i cut is coz of the things i went through from another ex.

cool ur 20 - i thought you were alot older than me, but your not. id like to know more about u, but obviously only wot u'd feel comfy with...?

ok - i must go. I'll be back on monday and i'll write more frequesntly. sorri again.

Love and huggles
x