h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some numbers need a bit of rejigging now we know how much space there really is on stage, and which entrances it is feasible to enter more than one at a time. The rear entrance behind summerhouse in Act 2 that we were supposed to enter 2 abreast to waltz on will only allow one person at a time. This makes it slightly tricky to keep in time.

Fortunately the chairs we have to lift and carry around in the septet are light enough to do so with ease. They look like white painted cast-iron garden chairs, but actually are aluminium.

Being vigilant I spotted a potential hazard when a grisette lost her garter. Knowing further grisettes would soon appear to do a Can Can I picked my moment and retrieved the item (staying in character) with the glee of a naughty schoolboy, and surreptitiously showed the item like a prize to fellow (male) guests.

Now we are approaching the stress and excitement of opening night some of the cast have appreciated the back massage of neck and shoulders that I am happy to provide (without discrimination). It was slightly disconcerting when one lady started giving out little moans of pleasure

I always thought conductors were just waving their arms for fun anyway! Lack of foldback is indeed a complete nightmare, but the opposite (when you can hear yourself through the sound system quite clearly) is wince-inducing as well.

Your set sounded like a lot of fun... And I think Slitheen would fit in very well with the Merry Widow. Actually, I'd love to see them waltzing...

The closest smiley I can find to 'Break a leg' is

Dress R last night.

Knew I had to be there for quarter past for some staging thing to be sorted out, so rushed supper to get there shortly after six pm. No action, so started getting changed and made up. Eventually realised the call was for quarter past seven

Early arrival allowed me to get my mic pack early, and apply make up and costume in leisurely fashion, Since the shirt is my own (and brand new) I don't want to get it indelibly ruined by foundation on the wing collar (as is probably inevitable )

In an unexpected touch each dressing room (well ours anyway ) has been provided with a box of fresh basic make up and simple instruction for general appearance wanted. Foundation, powder, eyeliner, individual sponge wedges, facial wipes, cotton buds, and cotton wool pads. We (in room 4) have been fortunate in our dressing room. The theatre has eight (or so) dressing rooms, varying in size. Ours is one of the smaller ones, but there are only three of us in it which gives us each a generous amount of space on hanging rail and at make-up table. It is quite a trial being in ensemble trying to keep order and find costumes etc with a crowded room

So how did the dress actually go?

Sounds like a nice dressing room, and that's a very good idea about the make-up. *makes notes*

Sorry I got interrupted in my résumé, to resume...

oh, we were also given a new roll of micropore tape (per dressing room)to attach out mics.
It is use of this opaque papery tape that the foundation is most useful at concealing.

The director was pleased with the dress r. No major problems. He admitted at times he was actually enjoying watching it (sarcastic b****r )

Placements resolved for large scenes. Fewer props dropped on stage, though note made that champagne glasses (with lemonade in ) should be drained and removed from stage. One chap was a bit peaky and was getting supplied with grapes, and and offers of a (!) He didn't collapse fortunately. Others in the male company scratched chins thoughtfully at attention he was being paid

In some dances my footwork irritated me, though the waltz sequence went well - the stage has been tweaked slightly so it is more feasible to enter from behind the summerhouse in pairs. Hopefully this adjustment will be replicated in successive nights.

Notes after the performance seemed to drag on (with little relevance to most in cast) and I got home just after 11pm. It took some time to remove the make up and my eyes have been itching a bit today (probalby got some soap in them). The collar seemed pretty clean so far

All pretty confident. First night tonight.

Stalls were full (half price on first night) and more paid full price for seats in dress circle .

Audience appreciative, no shocking hitches.

Did a little more massage of necks and shoulders. One cast member asked me if I wasn't worried that this (sometimes uninvited) invasion of personal space might not give me reputation of being a pervert. I said I wasn't too concerned, as the perversion, if it is perceived as such, is almost universally enjoyed by the receiver. I try to remember those who are uncomfortable with being touched, but feel the danger of occasional rebuffs is outweighed by the pleasure acknowledged by the others, some of whom I feel would probably not feel confident with asking for a back rub. I try to be entirely partisan in my choice of backs, so that it is clear the service offered is not some subtly coded message for other intimacy
I can envisage the misinterpretations that my actions might engender, but recklessly go ahead anyway. Doesn't everyone enjoy giving other people pleasure in whatever way is in their power? Knowing others are pleased with what you do is a pleasure for yourself. Actors wouldn't get as much enjoyment acting if there was no audience. I enjoy massaging away aches in shoulders.
I have to admit bare shoulders are a more attractive target, as I know I'll have more control of the process, and be able to tell more accurately what I am doing (after few minutes of massage the blolod supply to the skin increases as the capillaries dilate, and the surface warms). This factor, along with females usual greater tolerance to being touched by someone else, does mean that I do massage more women than men.

Before anyone asks, it is not possible for me to give a virtual back rub.

The best I can do is provide tips on what works well for me that can be passed to someone you want to do the massage.

Use mostly thumb and fingertip pressure (similar to typing or piano playing), not a gripping kneading action.
Keep moving pressure points. Even if massagee identifies a particular spot for an ache it is worthwhile massaging some way around it, moving over the spot, but not staying on it.
Vary level of pressure exerted two or three times each minute; from light feathery glissades (this can so be careful), through rhythmic typing scales with all fingers, to firm strokes with thumbs.
Try to avoid putting pressure on spine itself (or anywhere where you are simply pinching skin aginst bone), work either side of it, going right up neck into hairline.
Start massaging lightly until feel for musculature is clear, and then firmer pressure can be gradually developed, remembering always to keep pressure point moving (otherwise it can quickly become quite painful for recipient)

Last night took masks along to theatre, but had no opportunity to discuss them with J or the dancers who'll use them.

Received some cards, including a Merry Widow keyring and a genuine (which I later gave to my wife)

Before the show started there was much wishing of between cast members. After end of show much mutual back-slapping.

Commented lightly on one of the cast's musky odour, to give me opportunity to bring it up tactfully with him a bit later, and suggest deodorant. He had just been a bit rushed that evening, but I was afraid of it continuing throughout the week, when it would be harder to bring up subject

I'd definitely appreciate a shoulder massage during a week in the theatre! Much nervous tension to be worked out.

Glad the first night went well, with a good audience. No mishaps from the sound of it.

Second night went just as well, if not better

J had a chance to look over the masks during one of the longer breaks between entrances on stage and gave , but suggested not doing much more work on them prior to getting directorial agreement next week

On first night there was a slight problem I forgot to mention - in the second act septet four of us start our scene at a table set downstage right, and remove the chairs to form a line across the stage. On the first night this table was set further back, as they started the second act behind the gauze, but the gauze was not as far forward as it could be. This meant that when the chairs were lined up and we started doing moves in line in front of them I (as the person on far right of line) was going to be forced to walk into the table.

I moved table forward in subtle increments so that by time I had to walk to the right I could squeeze behind it.

I mention it now since last night they remedied this problem by setting table much further forward (by starting second act with curtains, not gauze). The drawback to this was the table was so far forward it was nearly knocked over by the weight of the curtains opening and closing(as they are quite heavily weighted with lead).

Hopefully a happy medium will be reached tonight.

Last night's show started with the orchestra playing both British and Manx National anthems before the overture started. I may not have mentioned this before but in most shows with an orchestra in the theatre the Manx anthem is played - and sung by the audience, who stand to sing - as a preamble to the show. This can come as a surprise to tourists, unfamiliar with the custom.

The British Anthem is additionally played first on the night that the Lieutenant Governor (representative of HM Queen Elizabeth, who is the Head of State) attends the show. After the show the Governor and his wife were welcomed onto the stage after the curtain had come down. He gave a short speech of congratulation and made inconsequential chit chat to the principals (asking me for instance how I kept my monocle in, and telling the Can Can dancers that he had enjoyed their display, and would compare it with what he sees at the Lido in Paris when he goes there later this week for his 60th birthday celebrations). We gave him three loyal cheers and sang him Happy Birthday.

Nice custom. And I'm very about getting dignitaries backstage. We have the Lord Mayor/Lady Mayoress come, but he/she doesn't talk to the cast afterwards.

Another good night last night

From the tally near the stage door it appears we are getting 450 - 500 a night, which is pretty good for a G&S society show.

As I mentioned earlier I share a dressing room with two other of the minor principal gentleman. One is particularly fast at getting changed between costumes, which sparks a competitive urge in me. As I was putting on my foundation last night, while he finished dressing, I realised I had better tape my mic onto my cheek before going too far (the tape doesn't adhere well to make-up). I mentioned this aloud (soliloquizing) before I realized that he had also missed this step. Much sniggering while he went and had to correct his oversight.

The acts start with a darkened stage. I find this hard, as particularly before first act coming down from brightly lit dressing room the stage appears pitch dark. It takes a few minutes before I can clearly see more than white glove in front of my face. Last night one of the cast who had been on stage longer, and whose eyes had adjusted, found my cautious movement across the stage to my position amusing and guided my hand onto her breast. She laughed, but the frustrating thing was that I couldn't be sure who it was, as I couldn't see them

The Widow (Madame GLavari) made an uncharacteristic alteration to her performance in her first entrance, sweeping along line of men, rather than waiting to be kissed on the hand by a few gallant gentlemen. Possibly she thought she was late getting off the stairs, possibly she forgot. I missed the kiss though

Danilo (her lover) had a similar glitch, forgetting how the tempo of one line went in third act, and adlibbed splendidly

Septet table placed just right

At end of performance we were joined on stage by the Lady Mayor and her deputy, who again praised the show as the Governor had. They were both tickled to be kissed on the hand (which I thought was an approrpiate gesture) when they went along being introduced to the line of principals on the stage.

Stage Manager in his notes at end reminded us again not to chatter prior to opening of curtains on each act, as they could be picked up by the rifle mics at front of stage.

Two of the CanCan dancers came up to dressing room after the show to see the masks they'll wear in Robinson Crusoe. They seemed a little disappointed intially, but I did point out that what they were seeing was unfinished, which reassured them.

More on the massage theme: Two of the younger female cast have become fans of being given shoulder massage. At one point I was massaging both their shoulders simultaneously (one hand to each), with the salacious innuendo of "pleasuring two ladies at once" One said that she thought the massages were likely to be the highspot of the week.

It's lucky I have strict rules about appropriate behaviour (like Frank Sinatra's character in High Society) or I could get into a tricky situation

Two nights to go.

I must have been a bit lazy yesterday. Didn't get around to writing about Friday night.

Now it is Sunday, and the show is over

After the last night party (immediately after the we'd struck the set of the last show until early hours of morning) I am a little jaded, and can't remember everything with clarity

As things occur to me I'll note them down.
There was a pair of dignatories to our last night. A Bishop (possibly 'the' Bishop, I'm not up on clerical hierachies on the Island), and a surprise guest - Thomas Round (http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/sandham/tom_round.htm) - who was introduced as one of the best Danilo's there have been, as he played the role for Sadlers Wells, and the LP was top of the charts when it was released. This was in 1958 apparently. Although now 93 he had the appearance of a man at least 20 years younger. If singing musicals can do this for you I'll have to keep it up

Congratulations on a well-received run, so many special guests and an absence of disasters.

And on being awake after the post-show party.

The tricky septet had a few mishaps. Earlier in the week we all followed K off, facing out to audience, and trusting peripheral vision to ensure we were following person in front of us. He led us out, but three of the seven (myself included) had to doubletake and sidestep smartly to avoid collision with the distractor (a one-inch thick, five- foot wide and twenty-foot tall frame covered in black felt).

I would have written about this error earlier, but I couldn't remember the term for the thing we almost hit, as it ws described to us by the stage manager (who had watched us repeatedly almost walk into it to much amusement). On subsequent nights quick sideways glances were used to prevent a repeat occurence.

On the last night, after a week of virtually error free performance of the song, K scooped the prize (literally, as it was awarded at the after show party) for an obvious mistake, when he tried to lead us off four bars early, and wasn't followed by anyone else. At this point in the song he was on far right of line and should have been taking steps to the right in line with everyone else, followed by steps back to left before starting the 'sailor march' back to right and turning to lead us all round in front of previous position and off stage left. He realised his solitude in the middle of the stage (with everyone still in line further upstage), and had to scoot back

As often seems to be the case a show has finished and my body takes the opportunity to succumb to the colds and sniffles it has been holding off . Have felt pretty spacy, coughed and worked my way through numerous tissues. I wish I could fool my body into allowing me to be poorly when I can legitimitately take time off work; this week I had booke off as a holiday Last time I was ill it was a 24 hour bug that laid me low - on a Saturday

This does mean I have some time to reflect on Merry Widow, and add overlooked aspects.

For instance I received a miniature bottle of from Asst Director, thanking me for standing in. Another cast member gave everyone Merry Widow fridge magnets, with sepia photos of the period on. Mine shows the heads and shoulders of a couple, man in evening dress close behind woman. I suppose he could be giving her a shoulder massage, but it doesn't seem likely Also several goodluck/congratulations cards based on the Pontevedro dance cards all the women sported on their wrists during the ball. This intricate design was made more interesting by the subtle flaw, often not noticed immediately, that the country's name was misspelled 'Pontevedria'.

I only signed one actual dance card. That of my waltz partner. I remember signing it 'love Bogdanovitsch' but can't recall what other sentiments I professed.

After meeting Thomas Round and the Bishop on stage on the last night we all went off to change for the last time. This involved packing away my parts of the costume, and hanging the hired stuff back on wire hangers (during show week I had used my own blue plastic hangers for my costumes to make it obvious which costumes on rack were mine - top tip if you are sharing a dressing room with similarly costumed cast members). Then slipped down with the costumes and surrendered them to wardrobe mistress so they could be ticked off the list and packed up in
the containers they were supplied in. Tidied dressing room using make-up removal wipes where necessary, popped bag and luvvy box in my car then returned to theatre to assist in striking set before getting directions to after show party (in the party room of a golf club I'd not visited before).

The after show party was attended by most of the cast. I was disappointed that the principal playing my character's wife (Sylvia) had opted not to attend in order to allow her a good night's sleep before she appeared as soloist in after show service at a local church. As ostensibly married we had had numerous soto voce conversations whilst on stage.
I guess everyone suffers from post-show blues . The cameraderie enjoyed for such a long time is dispersed, and friendships struck up go into hibernation until the next show.
For me this is going to be a long break, as I can't see myself finding time to join in with either the G&S Spring concert (rehearsals starting in January), or even the next G&S production (Ruddigore, on in a year). This last twelve months have been exceptional (Scrooge, Nutcracker, Red Hot in Amsterdam, Something Blue, Merry Widow, and beginning of Jekyll & Hyde), and can't be repeated because of the strain it places on my real marriage.

At the last show party we started with drinks and conversation. On each table were quiz sheets based on the Merry Widow (set by the winner of last year's quiz). Anticipating this I had brought along the programme, which was particularly useful this year, as it appeared the questions had been set based on the same sources usd by the compiler of the programme. Things like biographical details of the composer, and history of the show.

Also set up at one end of the room were tables of photographs of the dress rehearsal done by a professional. This was good business for him, and he had taken many good shots of both groups and individuals performing. All the photos were held in dark card frames, and retailed at £4 each. Natural ego meant most people searched for photos of themselves, and for the main principals, this meant selecting from a large number of images. I browsed for some time before choosing four. The lady playing Valencienne must have picked a couple of dozen, but she was graciously offered a bulk discount.

In due course there was a buffet set up, with sandwiches, hot chicken goujons, sausages and vol-au-vents. The top table guests got in first, joined by the musical director, who had opted to sit at the table I joined, but didn't want to wait table by table to go up to choose. Most people didn't seem too bothered (well I wasn't anyway - when I was queueing a few slipped ahead of me as I gave final shoulder rubs to people seated near the queue)
In the speeches the Chairman (also playing the Baron) became temporarily overcome with emotion, when thanking everyone for their support during the last year. I had been totally unaware that his wife had died.
He was then surprised when he was awarding the prizes to be interrupted by the musical director, who told him that the rest of the committee had changed the winner for the most comic moment, from K (for the early walking off mentioned ealrier) to his performances during rehearsal when he stood in with humorous effect for several missing principals.

Following the serious prizes (one for best principal (won by Anna the Merry Widow herself); one for best chorus contribution (won by wardrobe mistress, who deserves appreciation every year; and one for best comic moment (as mentioned in previous post)) we had the raffle (I didn't win anything, and yes I had bought tickets) and then the social committee introduced the grisly Grisettes. These were five (?) of the older chorus members overlooked for the sexy Grisettes roles singing a parody of the Grisettes song, playing on supposed age and infirmities (they added props of Zimmer frames and walking sticks) which shouldn't have meant they were choreographed to the back of the stage. It made everyone
Finally the light hearted 'Academy' Awards were presented. In Patience "A game of two halves" (a modernised version recast in a northern Football club) the prizes were Golden Balls (polystyrene football painted gold on a card covered in green felt), in Pirates of Penzance the awards were inflatable tropical birds - the Parrots of Penzance. In this show the Awards were the Golden Melons (and a wad of Glavari millions). These refer to lines in the libretto where in a coded telegram Millions is mistranslated as Melons.
I won the first Award, for toilet humour, having played a character known as 'Bog'. The melon I can confirm appears to be a genuine honeydew melon sprayed gold (I'll eat it later). The Galavari millions were a wad of paper cut to size of a photocopy of a foreign currency note which was stuck top and bottom of wad. The other awards were similarly trivial.

Erratum: I have been corrected on my misapprehension that the Chairman's wife had died. Apparently she is alive and well, but living with someone else. He had suffered the demise of a relationship, but not due to death of the other party.
It all comes of not being inquisitive enough to ask tactful questions and thus relying on my fallible intuition rather than research.