h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Her eye was keen, her skin was green"


Love it, good thread idea!
Must be about one hundred verses by now
A1070786

Dear Snockerty,

Thank you so much. Your own contributions to the interminable ballad have been delightful. I am having a good laugh, even if simulpost and a rather loose interpretation of ballad form threatens to derail it, at times. But it is a nonsense ballad, after all, and in the context of hootoo, a certain amount of hyper-space activity is only to be expected.

I searched for vogon+poetry on the h2g2 search engine....and came up blank!

Holy Moly, Snockerty,

I am completely blown away. I had no idea you had written a poem in honour of the humble Chaiwallah. We are touched, and choose to take it as a compliment. Though we note that in the edited version of the Ballad ( more power to you for undertaking the task of extracting it from the thread...I was wondering about doing just that..) you have included Chaiwallah amongst the lethal Vogon poets!!!

Well, you can't win them all,I guess.

And now I must get back to your Perspace and reasd some more of your poems.

Em . . . Chai old chap . . . you *do* realise you've been in that "Thoroughly Decent Sort" pome, don't you!

Whew, I hoped you did!

Do you think he knew?
I think he knew alright, I've yet to catch anyone out with that old trick



setting fire to Grandad indeed

Yes, I knew. But it was still a charming thing to set up, as I wrote to Snockerty.

I was caught utterly, when Gnomon set up a list of those who had registered with his "giving up things for Lent" thread. He included a table of those who haven't given up something, with the viewer at the end. I had been in communication with Gnomon quite a lot and . . . swallowed hook line and sinker.

You have my sympathies. For an ego-fluttering moment I was also duped, and then it dawned on me that the type with my name was heavier than the rest, and therefore automated. But Snockerty set it up so well, with the "full story" lead to draw one in. It was obvious enough that his business about his name was but the extra twist was the catchy bit.

Incidentally, you must instruct me in the seting up of that personalised bit.

I'll call you.

G'day, Snock.

Is there a way that one can backtrack the title of a thread and change it at its origin. Grimley Moer just caught an unfortunate two-liner/first-timer who doesn't realise how hopelessly self-indulgent we've become.

And by the way, have you found that your entire day is now sorting itself into ballad metre? Damned addictive, innit?



wallah

Nah, the bold type was deliberate too, I left a couple of trails to that one, like this A980516 but I dont think anyone was fooled for very long.

TSF

I'm glad that's not just me! I seem to be thinking in Grimley Moer verses, probably going to start speaking like that at this rate.

I thought you already changed the title, I noticed it had mysteriously reverted for one posting just now. I think the title as it appears in "Ask H2G2" is there for good but can be changed with every posting within the thread.

TSF

Now look what you started!
http://www.the-snockerty-friddle.co.uk/billy_bobnobs_worm.htm

Thats why I've not been around Grimley today


TSF

WOW. Ifn you'll forgive an aged hippy expletive. That is absoslutely brilliant, and I am in total awe of your versifying skills, your wit, your imagination, the whole bleeding lot. What a wonderful pome.

A propos which, a Newcastle lad told me two things. The first was a Scottish saying that he quoted against his Newcastle self, you may know it...."If the Scots hadna come south and f****d pigs, there'd be nae Geordies."
The second was a Newcastle motto his old dad had told him:
(I won't attempt to write the dialect...)
"Hear all, see all, say nowt,
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt,
And if ever thou do owt for nowt,
Do it for tha sen"

As you say, they're like that in Newcastle.

I'm afraid that most of my poetry is rather arcane and serious, which is why Grimley Moer has been such a blessed relief ( apart from thinking, dreaming and farting in ballad metre ). Recently I went through a very rough patch, emotionally, and my poetry reflected deeply grimly glooms from my childhood.

However, I am given to occasional bursts of humourous stuff, outside of the Hootoo context ( though as a recent addict of hootoo, the humourous writing, what with Limericks and Rimickles on a daily basis...I tell myself they're as good for the decaying brain as doing crosswords or playing chess with Recumbentman...has been getting the upper hand.)

And so I am going to email an item to you at your website email address, because there are copyright implications ( not mine, I hasten to add, but those of the originator of the characters' names, namely Wallace and Wendolene.)

Anon, oh mighty bard, oh bardy mite.

Brilliant! Bit of a whizz with a rhyming pen yourself!

I can remember being ridiculed for daring to suggest that the Geordie accent was in any way similar to the Scottish, though I could hear it as a nipper long before I'd heard how many Scots had moved down to the North-East. Then again I recently found a web-site claiming it to be the true Saxon accent so what do I know?

Re serious writing, I have almost the opposite problem. As a musician, I tried for years to write songs without success, but if only I'd wanted to write for Chas n Dave or the Wurzels or somthing I'd be laughing.

Much inspired by your Grimley creation
TSF

Do I gather you got the story of Wallace and Wendolene OK? Glad you liked it. Shamefully, I must admit, it still makes me and herself laugh.

"And there's plenty more where that came from, folks" to quote my favourite author, the immortal Spike Milligan ( though more for the Goon Show scripts, and his prose than for his nonsense verse. "Libster, labster, lobster lee..." is not my favourite cup of tea! )

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Please be inspired by Grimley Moer to add your special flavour to it. Freak out, let rip, indulge.

My feeling is that it will benefit from being pushed into more surreal scenes, with seriously dark shadows. After all, the best comedy is the comedy that takes itself seriously, and thus becomes seriously silly. Otherwise it's too easy to fall into the trap of "twee-ness', or worse, sentimentality ( the bane of much television sitcom.)

Excuse my ranting there for a bit.

Ho hum,

On with the day ( the sun is splitting the heavens here in Dublin, a shame therefore to stay indoors in front of a computer. WHAT, I hear you cry, you have a LIFE to lead beyond hootoo???)



wallah

Aye, I got it and loved it.
Still being inspired by Grimley, hence http://www.the-snockerty-friddle.co.uk/lily_loofahs_undies.htm

Sun shining here too, making occasional trips from the hammock to the pc to add another verse or two to this and that, but as soon as I've caught up with Grimley Moer I'll be adding a little more to that too.

Re Spike:I wrote a poem once called Julius Caesar, it went

Julius Caesar
Roman geezer

I put it on the web-site but now I'm not sure if I might have actually remembered it from a Spike Milligan book somewhere. Ring any bells with you?

"There's holes in the sky where the rain gets in
But the holes are only small, thats why the rain is thin"

The man was a genius

Off now to think surreal with dark shadows


TSF

That was a popular rhyme in my school days, those days of yore when Latin was beaten into us on a daily basis.....

Julius Caesar
The Roman Geezer
Had a face
Like a lemon squeezer.

The other Caesarian classic being

Caesar adsum jam forte
Pompey aderat.

The final, but non-caesarian classic being:

What is it that roareth thus
Can it be a motor bus?
Yea, the smell and hideous hum
Indicant motorem bum.

There was another verse about "fortibus es in aro," but I don't remember the rest of it.

It was all a very long time ago.

I do look forward to your input to Grimley Moer, besides your para-ballad asides to Recumbentman!!!



wallah

PS, I might email you another Wallace and Wendolene episode, though it's all downhill from the Inja story, as innuendo plays a larger and larger part. I consider the vein to be now worked out, as the possibilities for innuendo have been thoroughly done over.