h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So it was totally.......

Close to real life, just fill in the blanks...

Say what?

Are you trying to be enigmatic?

Flamenco dancers wonderful - now it's morning (again! this keeps happening!) and am going out for lots and lots of

Do try to write more than two lines, not sure if I'm quite getting a proper return on investment here

Ten postings on the new thread!

gotta

besitos,
az

hey there, dog of choice,

Feeling a bit lonely so thought I'd spend a few minutes with you. IF you don't mind . . .

Went out for breakfast with Mary and invited an American friend Mary Anne to join us, and after that we went to the Alcazar gardens (in the royal palace). I thought that M&M would have stuff in common but didn't realize that this would prove so true that I would become superfluous. But whilst sitting in the gardens I suddenly became totally invisible for about an hour while these two swapped life stories and experiences and while I slipped into a coma.

Now we are back at the flat as I had to come back to put Mary's sheets upstairs to dry on the line. Then the two women made tea, broke open a packet of digestive biscuits and have been sitting on the other end of the living room yakking away ever since (for about the past two hours). Suits me just fine, atchly. This isn't why I'm feeling lonely. wait!!!

. . . ten minutes later - s**t!

Suddenly the girls went - oh shawn it's raining! - so I just raced upstairs to rescue washing on line (all Mary's stuff, not mine) got totally soaked and came back into the flat looking like a drowned rat. The two girls looked up and said - oh, it IS raining isn't it - and went right back into their conversation. But I stood my ground! I stamped my foot and said - 'sorry darlings, that is NOT good enough! I wanna hear some really heart-felt sympathy!' So both of them started going - 'ohhhhhhh, poor Shawn, are you all wet? Poor darling . . . etc etc' And boom - right back into talking about dead fathers, Irish politics, family relationships, women's rights, the war, blah blah and f*****g blah.

Anyhoodle, seems like M&M are birds of a feather. And so I'm quite happy to let them use my living room and spend all day - even the rest of this week - to chat their faces off.

But on the other hand, what is this??? All of this analysing s**t constantly-constantly-constantly . . . looking for what? Trying to understand and work out . . . what??? Most people (from my personal viewpoint) have all had crappy stuff done to them.

three hours later . . .

sorry, have to really think about what has just happened these past three hours . . . help!

az

I think that this is what always happens, just like other peoples clothes are always better, and their ideas always seem brighter-so borrowing other peoples friends usually means that they seem funnier, wittier etc... you're just cast aside like an old umbrella-life is so cruel, perhaps poison in their coffee? What is going on? Stamp your damned authority on these people.

I am totally failing this end trying to explain the intricate logic behind bedroom tidying and how only doing your own mess basically adds nothing to the house as a whole. Might as well try explaining cold fusion to a tree frog, and expecting a reactor by Thursday. Have negotiated a truce involving non-space sharing, complete with no fly zones and NATO peacekeepers. Only one female child to be on the upper floor at any given period of time, this could eventually involve punching a clock or laser motion detectors, early days, I just don't know yet.


Got Willy Wonka on TV and a nice pot of tea, now replying to my correspondence quite the renaissance hound-must check your new thread

Kind regards and felicitations,
Rain, assasin for hire if things don't improve, 2 Marys for One Easter special.

me again,

looks like your Nordic friend skugga has joined the new thread - hmmm. Think she has a bit of a crush on you?

me? having quite a weird day here - help me out if possible, if only by talking to me like a real person. I feel like I'm between all of these various people all round me talking and acting out various whatever thingys - even me! went next door to bum a cig off of one of my 'tenants' (lovely dutch woman called Brigitte). Told her i hadn't smoked for an entire week but suddenly couldn't stand it any more - so she handed me cigs and both of us sat in her room with glasses of wine and chatted for an hour about how neither of us likes to over analyse life to totally f*****g death. Now I'm back at home with the two Marys who are STILL going on and on about various life experience stuff and how they feel about all of that.

Gosh, what has happened to my home? Got the two Marys here, not sure what I am supposed to do next here. I mean, these people are supposedly my guests, but it is like *I'm* the person who feels like I shouldn't be here. They just made themselves a nice snack and even more cups of tea. Ummm. Well, okay. That's fine. But I'm now wondering about how I am meant to be here. In my own home. Like, wouldn't mind maybe watching a video or (to be quite honest) being ALONE for five mintutes - just getting a bit exhausted with constant discussions about totally psychological s**t about ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!!! And what about this . . . and what do you think about that . . . and this person felt so rejected and then that person had this terrible experience, even his own sister did this horrible thing and then this person didn't love me enough and then my father did such and such . . and and and and and!!! Honest to pete! Who gives a f**k at this moment? Not me, that's for sure. I just want to have a nice Sunday afternoon, if this is remotely possible.

heeeelllpp!!!
az

surrounded by people in her own home but feeling terribly alone

jayses, mary and joseph!

almost can't stand it anymore.

psycho-babble constantly going on in my livingroom - in MY home - and nobody seems to think it necessary to even remotely recognize my poor pathetic self, even though it IS my living room and all of that. also, this is supposed to be MY holiday too.

rain!

how has this happened?

please send me a hug!

az

*In completely calm voice*
And how does that make you feel? You seem to be feeling rejected. How do you feel about that, I mean deep down? Let it out, it's good to share the emotions. You'll feel better. I sense a deep feeling of instability-tell me about your mother....what would the hug signify..what would it's true meaning reveal?

Dr Freudenhund

If you want a real answer the worst thing you can do is get fed up with them. In the great scheme they will be pathetically grateful to you for introducing them and when the first blush has worn off, and they know lots of the things they are just finding out about each other, you are still the one that they are both friends with. Quite natural feelings of rejection though. I hate it when anyone I am friends with meets up with another one- you really want them to get on but also want them to only a bit, so they don't pair off and abandon you. Probably some evolutionary reason for it somewhere. Have you tried the poisoned coffee yet?

Some hug shaped text from me for what its worth.

Rain, relationship counsellor to dejected Canadians everywhere.

FUCKOFFANDDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-will get back to your next posting once I regain my mind

to be perfectly honest, you are really c**p at the hug thing.

also - I am not actually feeling rejected.

the truth is, I felt quite relieved that these two Marys found each other so they could leave me to myself - except then the overstepped here and there and p****d me off.

I really didn't want to spend the day with them - truly.

THen I got p****d off at Mary cos while I was out smoking cigs with Brigitte she went ahead and one-handedly washed some dishes - even though I TOLD HER NOT TO DO THIS - not because I am so generous but because I didn't want her stupidly breaking my things that cannot be replaced (I don't own much, but what I do own, I like and don't want to see broken). THEN Mary tried to tell me - like you just did - that I was just feeling REJECTED.

AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggggghhh!

f**kofff**kofff**kofff**koff

I've been putting up listening to all this f*****g psycho-babble all afternoon - now I'm having it thrown back in MY FACE just cos I don't want to have my very special portuguese ceramic plates broken by a one-armed spastic dishwasher???? And THEN being told that this is all because I was feeling REJECTED???

I must be totally losing my mind here

f**kf**kf**kf**k

I sense some hostility issues in your last posting, do you want to talk it through? *soothing voice* I'm listening.

Rain

it's really not fair. I'm just being a good hostess here, and I've done my best - even now I've made chips and have ordered in a roasted chicken for the Marys even though my house guest Mary has totally insulted me (the other Mary seems to be quite fine).

WHY do I feel like I am suddenly back in highschool with the BIG girl making me feel silly by having the bigger voice than me and saying things in a way that makes it like I've actually said that myself when I never in fact said any such thing?

And this person is my friend? My house guest? The person I took pains to wash her bedsheets early this morning so they would be dry by this evening?

I am just pissed off, rain. I am trying to be a good friend and a good host. I in fact introduced the two Marys this morning BECAUSE I thought they would get on great and that they would enjoy each other. But I didn't think that would be thrown back at me somehow. I also didn't think they would be so rude and thoughtless about totally shutting me out of their conversation (even though I really didn't WANT to participate - but they could have acknowledged that, doncha think?) They could have at least pretended to - oh hell, I don't actually even care. It was just so rude. I was mostly very relieved when I got back home and could get back on line or read my book and just leave them to themselves. But then when I got pissed off about Mary doing washing up one-handed (after I'd told her NOT to do this) she said to me I was *only* angry because I felt rejected. At which point I wanted to punch her in the face.

I do not feel rejected! OKAY???

But I do feel terribly insulted.

Very badly insulted, as if I don't matter at all.

az
needing a hug more than ever

oh gosh,

turns out dickhead was right after all.

and it's just barely been 24-7

Mary just told me that if she could change her flight she would leave here tomorrow (say what?)

I don't know what I've done at all - I thought it was *them* being kinda rude to me . . . it's like you just never know with people, they are always so unpredictable.

I don't feel so good, rain.

goddamn.

The worst bit about friendship is the actual putting up with the other person. You can't make them act how you want and it really does seem that you feel rejected, honestly it does. Perhaps rejected is not quite the right word but you are falling into the trap of analysing your feelings about being pissed off at people analysing their feelings. All things will pass. Just don't fall out with people because you feel something or other about what they've done. And do you really mean you feel insulted? You can't know what she was trying to do when she tried to wash up-can you? Perhaps she was trying to make amends or something positive. Get some perspective, bounce back with some panache-remember why you wanted her there in the first place. You wanted them to get on-it worked, for that they'll thank you, if either of them are still friends with you-they might take their ball to another part of the playground and sulk.
Now I think it's time for alcohol-'the cause of, and the solution to, all of lifes problems'-Homer.

Sorry about the hug bit-not very good at that stuff you're right with that.

Rain, the clarity of distance, combined with the shortfall of the medium.

This is sometimes really irritating. I didn't have your last post when I replied-possibly because it arrived whilst I was typing-anyway, most of what I said still applies. I think you need to very honestly tell one of the Marys at least how you feel and effectively apologise for being so weird with them. It is, in my opinion, the only way. You can work out what *actually* happened some other time, for now sort it out. Thats it.
Rain.

can't sleep

hey there, doc (dog of choice),

You see, there is a reason why I don't have any friends! No, just sort of maybe somewhat kidding.

But first - one of my postings on THIS thread got edited! I received an email about it this morning. They put *** in all the swear words. Now fancy that! I have a hard time believing that h2g2 can actually edit ALL the threads going on, which is why they have the complaint smiley. So it would seem that someone else is reading our conversation and then has complained to the powers that be about my bad language. Don't you think that's totally bizarre? I mean, when I check other people's personal spaces and see they have a private-ish conversation going on then of course I don't read it. How very strange.

Okay, back to me-me-me

Slept about a minute and a half last night. Wasn't necessarily thinking about stuff but rather trying to feel how I really felt. It WAS an insulted feeling, rain. I'll tell you why (and please bear with me if I'm being totally boring about all of this). While at the royal gardens yesterday with the Marys and sitting between them on a lovely tiled bench they commenced to talking solely to each other. Mary guest even repeated - verbatim - a fifteen minute account of how she had met her boyfriend (the very same one she had told me just two days before). Now, if that had been me, I would have just given a quick account of that (since the other Mary had asked, apparently this guy is quite a famous Irish writer) knowing that my other friend had already heard this story. But no. And then Mary Anne told Mary other stuff that she had also already told me. Just like I wasn't even there! And I found that quite rude, to be honest.

So fine, when we came back home (as I had to hang out Mary's sheets to dry) I just decided to let the girls have their time together and once they had their tea and biscuits I got onto h2g2.

Well, most of the rest you already know. And so this morning I got up and did some cleaning and then was about to do some food shopping when Mary got up and I asked her if she wanted anything from the supermarket. Then I said to her - 'Mary, I apologize for losing my temper yesterday'. Just simply said that, I did not add that I almost never lose my temper and that I have to be seriously provoked to ever have that happen. I just took it upon myself that I had behaved badly perhaps, and so I apologized.

Mary then said - 'Oh, I think everyone has a lot of apologizing to do here about a lot of things!' And she went on to say how she had been 'left with a compulsive talker like Mary Anne whilst I went off and ignored them both' and so poor Mary had been *forced* to talk and talk and talk with this woman who seemed so desperate to talk to someone! Yeah right.

I then said to Mary that I had to get going as I had to do the shopping before I went to my doctor's appointment and escaped without having to 'go into' all the things she thought NEEDED TO BE TALKED ABOUT. Though I found it interesting that Mary was trying to *blame* Mary Anne for whatever happened. Very silly, if you ask me.

So I am now being very polite to Mary and still being the nice and helpful hostess. But I no longer feel like being her friend, somehow. And that is NOT an emotional response, rather it's a response quite devoid of emotion. I feel a bit dead inside ever since Mary told me she would leave today if she could. And it left me wondering if Mary is only here because I was convenient. She said she had needed to get away from Dublin and dickhead boyfriend for awhile to get some perspective - hence she contacted me for the first time in about six months and suggested coming out to visit me. I guess I thought she actually wanted to come and visit ME, but now I'm not so sure.

hang on, going to send this as the computer is growling again . . .

back again,

I worry whenever the computer starts growling, that I might end up with scary blue screen - or even worse, scary black screen - and lose everything I just wrote as there is no way to 'save as you write' in these postings.

Just wanted to let you know that I am back to being calm and centred. Okay, lost my temper. I am human after all. But then I apologized for that, without trying to place the blame on anyone but myself for my response. And I also know that my response had nothing to do with feeling 'rejected'. It was to do with feeling insulted by people who, to me, had totally forgotten their manners. I mean, when I am speaking to someone one-on-one I will get very personal at times. But if there is ever a third person involved, well, I just think one has to consider this and then make sure that the conversation includes everyone. But that's just me, apparently.

Also, after having barely slept all week, and yesterday afternoon I was getting quite into the ol' vino, I know that my usual control over my emotions was not at its best. That's not an excuse, just an explanation. Because I am usually much better at keeping my emotions to myself. Keeping the old 'dolphin smile' on my face and looking at the world at a safe distance. So, mostly I feel that I let myself down yesterday and I am also sorry - and apologizing to you - if I became a pain in the butt about all this stuff. That had not been my intention.

I did get the hugs from you in the end and I thank you. I think it's quite strange how much I think of you as a true friend, all things considered. Like, how we have only known each other a very short time and only in a 'virtual' sense. I guess it's how you once told me that you had 'got' the sense of my strength after just a couple of postings. I also 'got' that you are quite a special person and someone I wanted to know better. I like your humour and intelligence. I like that you seem to have quite a natural ability to genuinely care about people. And I also like hearing about your family and your life and sharing stuff with you.

Speaking of which, at 4am this morning I was SO not asleep that I decided to get up and then I re-read some of the postings you had sent to me earlier yesterday before all this nonsense came up. And I laughed out loud about how you are coping with your daughters not being able to share space, etc. Though I also know it's probably quite stressful at times for you and your pareja. Teenagers! God, you couldn't pay me enough to be 16 again. Or even 25 for that matter. It wasn't until I turned 30 that I started to feel like myself, that I had suddenly grown into my shoes and felt myself to be someone I actually liked a bit. Sixteen years after that, I think I quite like me a lot now. Warts and all. I mean, what the hell.

Not sure what is going to happen now with Mary. She will be here with me until next Sunday. Well, unless she decides (as she threatened to last night) to go out and find a hotel to stay in. But in fact, during Semana Santa most hotels double their rates and almost every place is booked solid this week. She has gone off this afternoon to talk to the owner of the Irish pub down the road (an aquaintance of mine) to ask him if he knows of a good lawyer so she can maybe sue the city for her accident. So she might also ask Gerry if he knows of someplace else she can stay. At this point, I almost don't care anymore.

Meanwhile, I am also on holiday this week and I hope to be able to enjoy that time off. God knows I need a bit of a break. Maybe I'll even be able to catch up on a bit of much needed sleep. Met my crazy English neighbour Lesley for breakfast this morning and told her what happened yesterday. She said she would happily come over anytime to act as a 'buffer' if I'm ever feeling uncomfy with Mary. Bless her. At any rate, I have planned that tomorrow evening and Wednesday evening I shall invite a few people around to watch the processions that pass directly under my balconies those nights. Well, if it stops raining! Cos when it's raining most of the processions just don't go out at all, since the pasos (the religious statues on massive platforms carried around on the necks of thirty or so men underneath them) are so expensive and ornate - and the statues are quite works of art - that they might get ruined by rain. Whatever.

We shall see what we shall see!

Meanwhile, thanks again for putting up with me yesterday.

kissitos,
az
xxxxxxx

ps
went to see my gynaecologist this morning and he said no less than three times!!!! how FAT I am now! (it's been two years since I've seen him). Wanted to scratch his eyes out and tell him to shut the f**k up but you know . . .

apologies rain,

Got into a bit of a mess here and unfortunately included you in that. Sorry about that, I'm sure it has all been very tedious for you.

But, back in the saddle again! Have recovered sense of humour and general wonky outlook on life.

The 'things I have learned' thread seems to be going quite well, doncha think?

un abrazo,
az

Hi Az, yes it's going fine, I don't know how people find stuff-whether or not there is 'word of mouth' as it weren't or if it's just random wandering?

I did't respond to your last posts here because I did get the feeling that I was being lumped with the Mary's, for whatever reason so I didn't want to just jump in and get scalded. They are digging up the road in front of me to resurface it, and only seem to do any work when I try to sleep so I am knackered. Posted on 'God..' last night and just remembered that Elfrida is a christian kid from somewhere, think I may have been a little strident- and you called me a jerk!,now I think of it, bloody cheek-everybody knows the best way to kick-start a catholic is to call them a jerk.

There they go again-they're using a machine like a giant (8' across) plane to take the top 4 inches off the top-can you imagine how loud that is? Everybody has ran away from me because I am soooo irritable, except for my beloved, who has run away to get smashed with cackly girlfriends in someone's garden, presumably because she cares.
Later resaddled one,

Rain, tired, so very tired.