Xzeel's Welcome

Hmmm… Where to begin? Well, I guess I should start by welcoming whoever is reading this. So, on the behalf of all those who made this page (mainly myself and Microsoft Word) welcome! Feel free to make yourself at home. Push any buttons you want, honestly, I don’t mind. Enjoy digging through the depths of my soul.

I guess I should tell you about myself before we begin. If you care what I look like (you shallow person) I’m a guy, about 5’11”, and in fairly good shape. I have brown eyes, what used to be brown hair until it turned white from the chlorine in the pool I swim in. I’m 15 years old or so, and a sophomore in high school. I live somewhere to the north of Chicago (sorry to all my friends in the UK), and I quite enjoy it here. That could have something to do with the fact that I enjoy cold, windy, cloudy weather, but for you who have never been to Chicago; it doesn’t smell nearly as bad as New York and is cleaner too.


So, what else? Well, I’m a Christian, a swimmer, and a student. Those three things kinda consume my life at this point. As for the first one, if anything I write is remotely entertaining, funny, useful, or even readable, that right there is a miracle. This is because, if you haven’t figured it out already, I suck at writing. I hope however, all you wonderful people at the guide could help me with this.

Now, let’s discuss swimming. Swimming is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Poking your eyes out with hot pokers would probably be less painful then joining a serious high school swim team, and would probably be more fun. And, at the same time, it is in some perverse way extraordinarily enjoyable. You swim so much that you begin to dream about the bottom of the pool. There has been a hair pin down there for a week and 3 days now. It doesn’t do much, but it’s more interesting than the white bottom. All in all though, hanging out with my friends on the team tends to make my obsession worth while.

So, what do I do when I not swimming? Well, I’m glad you asked. Besides hanging out with my pals and trying to survive school, I sometime get myself involved with projects. Perhaps the greatest of these is the infamous Shnaarovian Empire. This idea was created back in middle school by me and the Emperor Enderson. Our already odd minds combined with lack of sleep and too much caffeine created the idea of the worlds largest Empire ever to come out of the north suburbs of Chicago. We were to be the Emperor and Vice Emperor. We began gaining members quickly. We decided we would create an army of walruses, an air force of psychedelic snails with tinfoil wings, and a navy rabid Cajuns on hovercrafts. We then would take over the world through an operation code named “World Peace”. Before I go any further, I would like to clarify that the only drugs I was taking were Claritin and caffeine from coffee. Shame on you for even thinking that! Eventually we grew so large we could not remember all our members, and were too lazy to write them all down, but I know we had around 70 members at its peak. We had all sorts of positions, such as Treasurer, Commander of the Royal Air Force, Head of Gambling, Supreme Justice, and Official Park Bench.

This continued on and on, and maybe one day I’ll write an article about it. But at the end of our last year in middle school our top officials met and there was a unanimous vote that although we all loved the Empire, we would rather not be beat up every day in high school. So we close the doors on that chapter of our lives and moved on.

I guess we are coming to a close for now. Feel free to stick around and enjoy yourself. If by rare chance someone actually does read this, please go ahead and e-mail me at [Personal details removed by Moderator]. Please, please, please give me info on how to make this long winded introduction to myself better, and anything else you see I’ve written. Put the guide in the subject though, or I’m likely to delete it as spam mail. Adios, Auf Wiedersehn!

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Hello new friend! Feb 2, 2003

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Xzeel

Researcher U217845

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