Journal Entries
A day in the life
Posted Sep 17, 2008
Reading about Hypatia's day made me realise that my horoscope, the evening one in the free paper on the way home,(what is the point of a horoscope for less than half a day,I ask) for once offered a modicum of sense.
'In comparing our problems to other people's we sometimes come to realise that our lot in life isn't as bad as we first thought...think on it next time you perceive the going has got tough'
I have a stinking cold of the snot factory producing variety. A visit to the dentist has left me feeling that a round or two with Mike Tyson might be more preferable...(half my nose is now so anesthetised I am oblivious to the mucus pouring unchecked onto my chin) and have been training my new, if somewhat ageing assistant, who has incessantly interrupted my concentration thus causing me to send out several emails with entirely the wrong information in them, which will undoubtedly validate the receivers already firm opinion that I am nothing if not suited to my hair colour.
The journey home promises to be miserable. The 6.06 is the worst train in the commuter run, overcrowded, surly and packed with persona one would hope would never appear on your Christmas card list.
To add to the misery I am travelling with my newly appointed ageing and overly enthusiastic assistant who has yet to understand that the bubble we live in, far from being wonderfully exciting and cutting edge, is actually mundane, tedious and no different to working in the tax office.
We discuss office politics (trust me no different in the charity sector), forthcoming events, interviews that have been pencilled in, and how to engage money, influence and the right 'A' list for future advantage to the cause...our day job.
The sweetest, if somewhat more elderly than I (if that is possible) lady is sitting next to us with an overnight bag that threatens to make the journey unbearable. We move the offending bag to the luggage rack and promise to help her get it down at her destination.
The dribble from my nose is unabated.
Continuing to chatter inanely, he rather than I, (Remembering I am four years in to this bubble} we drift from one titled being to another and one impressive venue after another. He delighted with the opportunity, me thinking 'it will never become a lifestyle I would willingly embrace, give me Africa and a cause!'
The delightful lady disembarks at the station before ours with the passing shot.
'You really do lead the most exciting life my dear'
Horses for courses I say - but it's not a bad lot in the scheme of things.
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Sep 17, 2008
Creativity
Posted Sep 13, 2008
Boots has started a 'friends of Hootoo' group on facebook. She is not optimistic about membership but welcomes any hootoo friends who would like to say hello in the real world.
She also hasn't got a clue how you would find it, but for those who relish a challenge
it's called: Friends of Hootoo (H2G2)
Its group type is: Common Interest hobbies and craft
Daft I know, the next closest was 'languages' derr! Not even a 'literature' option.
It would be great to meet a few of you.
Take care
Boots (the gardening is still pending)
Discuss this Journal entry [4]
Latest reply: Sep 13, 2008
Perspective
Posted Sep 13, 2008
I fear I am becoming jaded, despite my life's motto being 'tis better to be naive than'.
I’m not sure when I lost my naivety but I sorely miss it.
Monday: meeting of a most commendable Charity where trillions were donated by one of the Trustees for worthy and doughty projects.
What’s he after? Can’t be money, he could rescue the Bank of England. Stop it that’s mean. He is a truly altruistic soul.
Walrus noises of congratulations.
Hand over admin to my new assistant, have now been elevated to ‘observer’ and
help myself to another biscuit; smart glass office so delicious chocolate covered shortbreads bearing a crest of some kind
Is there a correlation between the quality of biscuits and the company’s gross profit?
Monday evening: Visit the Duchess of Loon. Not a good day. It’s my fault she had a fall and she hates her slippers.
Tuesday: Lunch with my new best gay friend, who asks me to become trustee of his new Charity, whilst flirting outrageously with the waiter.
What’s he after? Can’t be my money, perhaps it’s my connections. Stop it that’s mean. He is a truly altruistic soul.
Wednesday: Clubbing, not in the way the offsprung know the meaning of the word.
Morning Coffee: Carlton Club with Zimmer framed gentleman who wants me to be his guest at a luncheon for some no doubt equally Zimmer framed gentleman who is being given something notable (forgot to note what)
What’s he after? Mental note to self: ‘check with office God’. Stop it that’s mean, he may be a truly altruistic soul.
Lunch: Boodles with office God and Trustee of yet another worthy Charity.
Watch office God in action, suitably impressed, he may be Zimmer frame brigade but is surely the master of ‘there’s no such thing as a free lunch’
Evening: Daughter’s Birthday party; bowling at the Bloomsbury. It’s been a long day don’t want to go. Hideous journey, three changes and in the rush hour. Office God has asked if I will have to behave like a grown up.
‘I think the offsprung’ friends would be somewhat disappointed if I did.’
Decide to stay an hour. Caught last train home. Youth, intelligence and decadence is such an invigorating combination.
Thursday: Black tie dinner to organise in nobby venue with nobby guests. Panic all day. Actually don’t panic but feel I should. Everything goes well, bizarre. Borrowed dress and killer shoes - very sore feet
Catch last train home.
Friday; 9.30 meeting for yet another worthy Charity. Hand over admin to my new assistant, have now been elevated to ‘observer’ and help myself to another biscuit; hotel conference room so Mcvities four chocolate chip kind and no crest.
Afternoon: Visit the Duchess. Better day, never had a fall and loves her slippers.
Saturday
cancel visit to friend’s casino in Brighton – hate gambling, cancel going to dinner party on the pretext that had forgotten about visit to Casino.
Intention: gardening, ironing and maintenance for next week’s social whirl.
We shall see, ‘the road to hell’ as they say.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Sep 13, 2008
Comparrisons
Posted Sep 7, 2008
Are odious.
But sometimes compulsive.
What does Facebook offer?
Sign in
Oh goodness friend 27 is taking child to soccer....in Sweden.
Friend number 22 had a wonderful honeymoon in the Cook Islands and there is the obligatory photo album to prove it...white sand...smiling faces...Ah yes and the underwater shot with the thumbs up.
I couldn't be more bored.
Nothing in the 'messages' box (the only application that could possibly be slightly salacious and therefore merit an optimistic flutter) Oh, but friend number 13 has taken the 'Inner Criminal' test. 'What fun', I yawn.
Whatever happened to the outer criminal?
How depressing that cyber life is even less exciting than the humdrum of existing.
At least the offsprungs offspring have enjoyed the real 'how to be a criminal' experience.
Perhaps my epitaph will read:
'She inspired naughtyness'
That wouldn't be bad.
The young man has learned that it is totally innapropriate to sit on a train at 15 when any lady, old, pregnant or merely possessing breasts is standing. he has also learned ... should that be learnt? No I don't think so, that whilst he may borrow a pen on the way into work to try and beat his elder and better in the sudoko race, (he can't, I cheat), he cannot expect same pen on return journey. Stealing pens from the office is rule number one. Actually any kind of stationary will do.
The young lady (14) has little hope, her mother has dictated that she has no need to use her brain or to bother with honing any talents she may possess. I fear marriage is her miserable future but perchance I will be allowed a week with her. She has a modicom of self expression in her attire but is overly preoccupied with it and totally disapproved of my stealing a blackberry from a punnett in the 'totally organic fair trade what a load of bollocks' farm shop.
Thank goodness my favourite larcenist was not with us else the whole punnett would have been bagged.
She did concede that lying on the green looking at clouds scudding across a, for once, blue sky was enjoyable and that tearing chunks off a french loaf and cutting cheese cut with a credit card was amusing, but balked when I said we should break into the local church to see the mouse carved on the lectern by a hugely respected sculptor.
I Even despair of my younger girlfriends. When I suggested 'doing a runner' in the local Italian, I was told, 'But they know where you live!' Do I care?
Comparrisons are odious but give me H2G2 any day. Fantasy is so much more satfifying than
'I wish this dreadful rain would stop' or 'Gillian is looking forward to a family Sunday lunch'
I think I may return.
Discuss this Journal entry [19]
Latest reply: Sep 7, 2008
Popping in to say hello
Posted May 6, 2006
ANZAC Day (It's actually spread over a whole week) week means a succession of balls, lunches, breakfasts, receptions and never ending renditions of the Last Post at far too many church services to be good for one!
Saturday saw the TNT magazine ANZAC Day London Ball complete with extremely painful bugler who not only crucified the Last Post but who made Chelsea Pensioners look toddleresque.
Sunday down to Wiltshire for lunch in the 'Orficer's Mess' followed by a service at Sutton Veny to commemorate the 146 Australians who died there during the 1914-18 war. About 146 of us endured yet another painful crucifiction of the Last Post and then had to stand in freezing drizzle while the church sounded out 146 tolls at five second intervals. As at least 130 of the fallen heros had died of influemza, it did accur to me that perhaps they might not appreciate their descendants dying from the same affliction.
Tea in the church hall followed in typical Wiltshire style...thank god I don't live in the country! (though the primroses were exquiste and everwhere).
Tuesday was even more memorable. A 2 am start to collect one of the Gods and get to London for the dawn service at the Australian War Memorial (Hyde Park Corner) was made slightly more bearable by almost getting arrested.
We parked the car in the office car park and started walking up to Hyde Park when it became clear that God's new hip was not up to the journey, well certainly not if carried by his legs. As we were passing the local Palias (Buckingham variety) a police car drew up alongside.
'Thank you Lord for our boys in blue' I thought and tapped on the window
"Can you give us a lift up to the war memorial, please?" I asked, explaining our predicament i.e that we were running late for the service due to the obviously 'faulty' hip.
They acquiesced suspiciously, transferring the armoury that was the back seat to the boot.
Once inside the car Mr 'practising to be Rambo' Plod remarked
"We were just about to arrest you. We thought you had nicked the poppy wreath from the Cenotaph."
Joy!
As we neared the War Memorial and Hyde Park Corner was lost beneath a sea of antipodeans they drove right through the cordon and conceded
"OK perhaps you were telling the truth"
As if I would lie!
A slightly better rendition of the Last Post, lots of air kissing and 'gosh isn't early' a quick swig of rum laced tea and we were off for breakfast at some Servicemen's club near Marble Arch. Breakfast was so splendid that we decided to skip the next service (St Paul's) and allow reasonable digestion to occur, washed down with copious cups of coffee.
10.30 saw us at the Cenotaph. Lots of salutes and silences and marching and real Chelsea Pensioners (not looking quite so toddleresque) and bands and wreath laying and oh yes, another rendition of the Last Post.
A swift walk to the Abbey (Westminster variety), queuing in the best British tradition, oceans of pomp and circumstance and...finally... a rousing rendition of the Last Post. They really do it rather well at the local church!
Lunch followed and then having managed to duck out of that night's reception in the High Commission and feeling as fat as Hattie Jacques, drove home to the sanctuary of what is fast becoming the student slum!
Final day of Last Posting on Sunday in Suffolk and then a few days freedom before 'the season' starts.
And they call it a day job?
Discuss this Journal entry [7]
Latest reply: May 6, 2006
Boots
Researcher U214221
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."