h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Old cleaning lady joke - about how she never swept behind the doors. Yes she did, she swept everything behind the doors!

Meanwhile, dishwashers? Well, I already have one called Noggin. I also have one that is in my kitchen, an electrical appliance that I have never used in the three years I've lived here . . . um, why? Weird concept for one or two people . . . also our plates are kinda rustic ceramic and not dish-washer friendly.

If it's just for one or two people it probably takes more time to rinse off and prepare the dishes for the dishwasher than it would take to just wash the fxxkers.

az

The thing that is guaranteed to send me around the bend, (not the U-bend) is if I carefully hang the washing, only to have dump it all in the ironing basket without just folding it in 4.

I'm not asking for the precision Benneton-type folding that I do to the laundry (which is why I do the folding and nobody else) I just want the stuff not to be in a really dry screwed up wrinkled heap when I get to it.

It cuts down on the ironing.

Apart from that, what I want to see are all the shoes in the shoe cupboard, and all coats hung up. That gives an almost good first impresion when visitors come in.

As for the fitted carpets - we live in rented accommodation. The carpets are cream and ancient and the filth is not to be moved. I'm hoping to put a laminated floor down next year, but I need the landlord to agree to go halves with me first.

As for something I'm fanatic about............well, it would either be the bathroom sink, mirrors, etc., or the kitchen counter. I do not like clutter on the counter.
Other than that, I am pretty easy going.

Lord C. is fanatic about the mopping of the kitchen floor and the sunroom floor, so I let him do it. That way it's done to his liking.......... still don't have the hang of the smileys.

for that one just do all these together : - ) I think this might work too : )



yep, both work


Just cleaned the bathroom/loo combo. It looks all sparkly. I wonder how long it will last before and the Gruesome Twosome decorate it with gobs of toothpaste.

I've remembered: I don't mind how filthy (well, within reason) the rest of the bathroom is (not loo, I insist on a shiny clean loo) I have to have a shiny tap in the sink.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest of us all?
I cannot tell with all these spots.
It's tough to look through polka dots.
;o)

Sho - you and I were definitely sisters in a past life - and I think Ancrene could be a distant relative too.

I am extremely particular - some would say finicky, others obsessive - about my washing.
It's got to be hung out correctly - socks in pairs, all the pants on one bit of line, shirts hung from the bottom of the side seams etc, etc.

Mr T used to drive me bonkers on the odd occasion he hung out washing. He'd put long things, like towels, on the one part of the line where they were bound to blow into the garage wall

Lady c - I might try writing that poem on the patina of toothpaste splatters which currently adorns the nmirror in the boys' bathroom.

Everyone takes their shoes off immediately they come through the front door here - even son's friends don't need to be asked, they just do so automatically now!

I have a specified food prep area in the kitchen that is permanently spotless. Can't say the same for the worktops in the other half of the room though; can't see most of them for bottles/ cans of pop, a bagful of 'trick-or-treat' sweets that son collected on Monday, and various bits of clutter that the other two in the house dump there.

After 27 years of marriage - I'm still trying to get Mr T to recognise the concept of clean and dirty zones in the kitchen

He once used my pastry brush to apply melted butter to a raw chicken - and wondered why I binned it.

My wo*k persona is totally different from my domestic one. My surgery is kept very clean, tidy and organised and I stick to cross-infection control procedures scrupulously.

It's just too much effort to keep it up at home - and like the poet said, there are many more interesting and wonderful things to do instead.

I hoover as and when I can't see the carpet pattern any more, I think we own a duster, and I clean the bathroom when people are coming to stay. Utter slob. BUT I am absolutely anal about doing the washing-up in the right order (glasses, then cups, then cutlery, then plates, then salad bowls and dishes and measuring jugs, then cleaner saucepans, working through to filthiest saucepan) and I go ballsitic if people don't wash the outsides of cups and saucepans with care and attention. When S washes up, I go away. I also have to hang the laundry up 'properly', bras and socks on this rack, pants on that rack, shirts over here, trousers and skirts over there... all inside out and carefully buttoned/zipped.

All this on a floor so crumb-sprinkled it looks au gratin.

And why did the landlord put a cream fitted carpet in the KITCHEN? It just shows me up.

I am feeling a little agitated on the subject of housework as the In Laws are coming for Christmas. My MIL is a very house-proud lady, the sort who won't sit down until all the supper things are washed up. Me, I wash them up the next day about half-an-hour before I need them to cook in again. If I don't leap to my feet and plunge fists into sink of bubbles the SECOND the last fork is downed, she will. It drives me batty. And I think she's being just a little rude - it seems such a criticism of my housekeeping to keep leaping in and doing it herself. I'm sure she is just trying to be a good helpful guest. But still. And since they have a dishwasher, she doesn't even wash up properly (tea-stains in mugs, grot round saucepan handles, soapy glasses) and I have to do it again later anyway. Can you imagine how fraught Xmas afternoon is going to get?

Carpets au gratin

Your MiL sounds well intentioned, if inept, Ag. Could you try 'running-out' of washing-up liquid on Christmas Day - or is there a convenient Asian grocer within inconveniently close reach?

A few years ago, we hit on the ideal structure for Christmas Day eating chez Teuchter.
We have kedgeree and Bucks Fizz for breakfast - and then the Festive Meal is spread out over the rest of the day with soup at lunchtime, turkey at about 5.30pm and pudding about 9.00pm.
We leave the table and go for walks, do jigsaw puzzles, play boardgames, eat tangerines and selection boxes, etc in between courses. But every time we sit down for the next course we're hungry again and really enjoy the food. I hate that feeling of being so stuffed that you feel

Teuchter:
Your Christmas Day eating pattern sounds very sensible to me. We have a tendency to eat a light breakfast and then do turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy and other side dishes about 2:00 pm. We are so stuffed we couldn't go for a walk if we had to. We do manage to walk later if the weather permits.
And if you have dinner with Hyp, you have to try her delicious pecan pie. Hubby has already put in an order for it........

Feel free to post the poem wherever you might think it would do some good.

Agapanthus:
An MIL who jumps up to do the dishes before the last fork is laid down makes me nervous. My daughter in law is like that. I would rather sit down for a bit--especially if I've done all the cooking--and clean up the mess after it's had time to come to room temperature.

My granny...my granny my granny...

We go to their's for dinner. We finish the main course (very nice curry). Whilst we are sitting around letting ourselves calm down before pudding...the smell of BLEACH wafts in from the kitchen! It turns out that granny has done all the washing up and has bleached the counter and sink!!! I didn't think we were THAT germy!

I've just taken a copy of the poem. One day I'll print it out, frame it, hang it (or stand it) somewhere, and let it get *really* dusty!

*looks in back of drawer and, after sorting through bits of string, used stamps, buttons, novelties from s of several yesteryears, instruction sheets for now-defunct bits of equipment, empty floss boxes etc - eeeeeeventually finds what she was looking for

* pins medal on Cheerful Dragon's lapel

Please accept this award from Slutty Housekeepers Anonymous - For Determination and Valour

I said before I *must* have a clean surface to prepare food on, and I also can't bear a dirty shower tray either. I think J *really* doesn't see dirt in the bathroom - he has taken his glass off when he goes in there so he can't actually see very much. This allows him to ignore it for long periods (and as I shower at the gym during the week I don't see it until the weekend).

In the worst offence stakes, in my hall is a bunch of silver twigs. I bought them, intending to do something creative with them in December 2003. I didn't get around to doing whatever it was and they are still propped against the wall in the hall, waiting to go up in to the loft...

Sticks hand up -may I join, too ? I absolutely loathe doing the housework, the piles of laundry in the living room only got moved this weekend, because my sister and family came to stay for the night and I needed the place. I do the vacuuming and cleaning stuff allright, but have a high tolerance level, especially for things like books and papers left all over the flat. My brother-in-law and his gf don't come to stay over here anymore, because they find the flat too messy, now they stay with m-i-l - saves me a lot of cleaning and tidying

My crap-tolerance level is insanely high.

Two weeks ago I spilt blackcurrant squash all over the living room carpet. I haven't even attempted to clean it, I just moved the rug over.

I can't remember what colour that carpet's supposed to me. There's a huge yellow curry stain in front of the fire, a big red sweet and sour sauce stain in front of the coach, and nows agiant purple stain by the table. It's starting to look rather trippy.

And don't even think about going in the kitchen.

coach = couch.