h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...That's a very nice hat.

Why, thank you. If only I could find one like that IRL ..!

Is that a top hat you be wearing, or a kitty cat?

It's the top hat I'm wearing, I am the Kitty Cat. Or sometimes. If I'm petted the right way

Hmm .. .. do forgive me if that wasn't the right way. Cats, I find, are often mysterious creatures and rather hard to work out.

So would you be a Dr Seuss style cat with a hat, or ..?

I think that's the right way. It's certainly not the wrong way.


If I were Dr. Seuss' cat, I think I'd speak in rhyme all the time. I'm just your average sort of girl-kitten. A kitten like Bridgette Bardot in a way. Not furry.

An intruging notion though. You could be a perpetually rapping cat.

Not furry, but surely not bald?

I should hope not. I think the hair's mine...*tugs on the hair that peeks out from beneath her Tophat* Ouchies. Yep, it's attatched. Or just glued on really well...

So .. what does this top hat of yours look like? Can I try it on?

Of course you can. And it's a very nice tophat. Not too tall, it's black leather with a black satin band around it and a pheasant feather. Very pretty...*hands her hat over*

Mm, that is a nice hat. Nice feather!



Hmm-mm. Suits you better, though .. but hey, I should hope so.

*puts on the brown hat*


Oooh. That /is/ nice. Terribly comfy.

Ah that'll be the goat beard padding. Wonderful stuff, springy and soft. It took the facial fluff of twenty-four goats to pad that out, you know!

So there's two dozen billygoats wandering around with hairless faces? Oh dear. Don't their chins get cold?

Last I heard, the sexy stubbly look is in for goats right now. The goat community is trying really hard to shake off the old scraggly beard stereotype.

I should hope the farmer will have a decent supply of chinwigs stocked up for the winter should they get the chills!

So should I. Imagine all those poor goats trotting around with frostbitten chins!

Heh heh, poor things. I wonder if it never grows back, or if they have the daily shaving routine of their human counterparts. Hmm ..

Please do tell; what sort of cat are you? Am I lucky enough to have my path crossed by a tophat-coloured cat, or ..?

Depends what mood I'm in really. Right now I'm a black panther type kitty cat.

Sounds sinister! A bit of chameleon in your cat ancestry?

I think so. But there's a secret to dealing with black panther-type kitty cats and keeping them happy. Ones that lurk around Hootoo anyways...

Hmm .. cat food? Fish?