h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It was beginning to look like a long hard walk. The sun was beating down on me. The air was suffocatingly hot! To be honest, I wasn't sure I would make it. Whether some hobo punk would stumble on my dried up corpse and rob it for all its worth. The brightness was beginning to hurt my eyes. It was making me feel ill. That, and the fact i was sweating (perspiring) pure alcohol. I really shouldn't have drunk that much last night. It was still playing funny buggers with my stomach.

I must be strong. The top of the hill loomed large on the horizon. I was nearly there. I could predict the rest of my journey. Soon the strange man would be walking towards me. He will nod a hello as he always does then pass and be on his way. Shortly after, when I am travelling downhill, the woman in the white micra will drive past. She has a Man Utd air freshener in her windscreen. I must give her a wave one day.

I was feeling better. Not even the mindless ingestion of beer that had been undertaken the night before could stand in the way of this new found solice.... me! The strange man is nearly in front of me. I never saw him coming. I was probably too worried about when my body would give in.

Nod. That is all I have to do and another pointless ritual is out the way. Lets just hope the movement of my head doesn't cause too much damage. God I feel weird! Here we go. He's seen me. He smiles. He nods. I nod. I smile. We are the smiling nodders. Another self gratifying construct done for the day.

I have trouble remembering the rest of the journey. The nod of the head shook up memories of many a night before. Segments of behaviour that I can only file away under, 'Needing an Apology' area of my brain. Oh the shame! I obviously don't have a brain, well, not one that functions under the influence. Or is it all the time? We are very bad at self judgementation, yet all claim to be near on experts at judgeing others. Humans are strange creatures.

The office. I had made it. The hive had called and now the collective swarm was filtering in. I feel like a conformist when I come here. It is all a conspiracy to numb my mind and suppress my thoughts. Little do they know they are paying me to write this jibberish/gibberish (doe it matter?).

I eventually find the backdoor. They seem to move it everyday. Another sly trick they play. 'They'. Who the hell are 'They'? They who have no faces. No names. 'They' are the pitiful.

I am at my desk now, in front of the monitors. This is where i get to twiddle my thumbs. I turned off all the lights. It was far too warm in here. Darkness is cooler than light.

Somebody must have been bored. The key sign out book has been filled in to the end. There is enough pages laid out now to last for weeks. This will have to stop. That kind of organisation encourages laziness.

I just poured half a cup of lemon into half a cup of orange. Probably best not to ask why?.

i was in a very surreal mood this morning

and again ...
am just dead this morning ...
gerrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

I'm sure we all feel a bit like that when we go to work after a hard night/day



how is yous guys?

Hmm, I wondering if the 'nodding/smiling' man on the journey to w**k is in fact 'they'?

he could be an agent of 'They' i spose will have to be more careful as to who i nod at in future

hi helly, cheers for the clout round the head

she was supposed to go for the balls .......



but head will do

is there much diff........

*ducks and s*

you didnt get a clout round the head.. dont tempt me though!
pub last night then was it? think i remember you saying something about dragging jenny out..
my brains packed in..


who or what are 'they' then 2legs?

helly..im dying

oh you poor darling

here is and a gentle

it is all self inflicted though, isn't it or are your allegies playing up again?

the 'they' in my journal entry did you read it

i didn't invite Jenny out in the end. i just went out with my mates, drunk loadsa and woke up dizzy

Thanks helly ..n yes its all self inflicted'looks at shoes'

yes i read it..or i tried to..told you..my brains packed in!
just got your email..head brickwall n bang springs to mind!

sound painful...
here this will pad it

i know. i am useless

here, have a coffee to wake you up

already had 3.... but will take what you is offering.....

Alright John, I'm feeling your pain, i had to go to work after my mates 21st the other day! We polished of £60 of Brut Champagne that night between us as well as all the .

I was def. sweeting alcohol the next day!!

IJ(Did you see the moon last night? It looked so cool)

i saw about 4 or 5 moons last night but was unable to focus on any of them what was it doing?

Im allergic to you prat..

might not be blown ..i can find out but then septembers still a long way away..

Heavy as metal... was it still full last night? you get a lovely view from up here..

was you talking to me serephina about the blown thing? my brain isn't quite active today neither. must be something in the air

i remember the moon now. big bright bugger in the sky last night