h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

June rain falls--FLASH!--BOOM!
Loud pings on tin roof, then calm.
Rainbows and sunlight.

Frogs jump in said down pour
Its no longer dry
They pray for more

What's that sitting on the window sill?
Is it Bill working with his drill?
Talking to Jill about his time in Brazil,
looking for the lost tribe of Phil.
As he set out to thrill Jill,
about the time when he went over the hill.
Discovered the lost tribe who had a gin mill,
who served Bill with his favourite mixed grill.

They all got a bit of a chill,
so they treated it with a tincture of dill.
Bill shouted out, "What's that coming towards the hill?"
The tribe replied "it's a monster who's in a fluster,
and he's running from the blockbuster disaster,
which he saw at the rainforest cinema with the Bushmaster."
So with great skill they spilt the gin,
putting the bad movie demons into a spin.
Leading them finally to give in and leave with a grin.

Let's write Haiku poems!
It's Spring, time of poetry.
Five, seven, five, see?

Let's all write Haiku
Let's all sing like a nightingale
- look! It's a blackbird!

Her hair was turquoise,
With fuchsia nose, orange arms,
And a small black heart.

I love this one of Wendy Cope's:-

The cherry blossom
In my neighbours' garden - Oh!
It looks really nice.

Located in the Pacific Ocean
This spring japans a sun rise notion
Don’t forget your suntan lotion

Come, friends, drink, toast, eat,
Frolic and cavort. Then rest.
Tomorrow, repeat.

Burp ,fart ,chuckle and grunt
A lot to be said for eating a windy lunch
Best retire to the smallest room
More methane to let rip and the planet is doomed

To save the planet,
We need a rescue plan. It
Means we must plan it.

The dinosaurs came and went
A cunning plan that no one meant
The planet is free now should we sell it or rent

An American
voted in as President
we all look to him.

A Cloud

The pavement is slippy
And people dash by
Dogs paws are muddy
And in need of a dry
Birds they fly sideways
Along with bin lids
The only things happy
Are dirty wet kids
I see people peeping
As in flows the night
I rattle on windows
And give them a fright
Kids they are nervous
And reach for their teds
They burrow down deeper
In there little warm beds
All through the night
I have a good play
I soak the poor milkman
As he brings in the day
I bid you farewell
As I’m blown faraway
But I promise I will return
To spoil another fine day

I have knitted my own sports kit,
and when I wear it;
I become very fit.
Especially at the highland games,
where I made my name.
Competed in my kilt,
that makes my body tilt.
So preventing me from wilting,
as I watch the judges take part in table tilting.

I dreamed I was dead.
Woke up in an earthbound grave -
Is that all there is?

Life is what you make it
Make it what you want
But don’t complain if other have better imagination

I dreamed I was alive.
News at five.

Behind the Lord Mayor's
Show comes the horses' shitcart.
As true as ever.

Roses are red,
Some violets are white.
If your date gives you nightmares,
You'll have a bad night.