h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...to come say hello, because every time I do, you disappear

How's life been treating you?

Oh Bugger it!!!

I'm always the last to look on my PS for messages because I'm too busy playing on the boards, so I missed this for 5 WHOLE days . Please forgive me

No I mean it Mal.............Put the Axe down and back away

I'm pretty good thank you my old mate . And how are things with you?

(sneaks off to read your PS for an hour or two)

Not bad either, just a little tired from yesterday's w*rk Christmas party.

So I haven't the energy to wield an axe.

Not the same old Mal as i knew then! She was always whirling some piece of evil weaponry in my direction

Been reading your 'Boss-girl' pieces Makes you seethe when you bump into somebody like that at work eh? Mind you...........I did say work was evil didn't I? Not like all those easy Uni days

And i notice you felt a bit after the crimbo party.......I thought you were a responsible sort who avoided .
Well done

I didn't actually drink much, but it was a late night and an early morning...

Setting off to deal with boss-girl now. If this doesn't help, bits of weaponry may start being involved.

*Listens for the sound of boss-girl being felled*

*thunk*

I thunk I had returned........I thunk right

Oh, good. So what have you been up to?

Weeeeeeeeeeell, mainly this week I have been slipping and sliding about all over the roads of southern Britannia, but now I'm off til the New Year for the first time in 13 years!!!!

You at home for the festivities?

I am indeed - going off to my aunt's for New Year's to play cards all night. Any plans yourself?

First time in years I'm off on NYE, but I'm going to spend it at home watching corny old films and drinking

*Lays 8 of diamonds on table*

What game are we playing?

Enjoy, then!

I thought we were playing Doppelkopf, but that has no eights in it, so I must be mistaken

Nooooooo!! I never play Doppel-doo-dah. Last time i playrd that there was an awful row and I was banned for life........just too good at it see

**Lays the 3 of clubs**

Maybe its whist?

Drinkies involved tonight I hope?

Not too many, but I only slept for four hours, so I'm not feeling terribly fresh anyway

Have you woken refreshed?

I'm on the naughty step, so chatting will be tricky

No, I'm kind of sore and sleepy now.

Naughty, naughty. What did you do this time?

I told one too many near the knuckle joke

Should we start a campaign to release the airscotia 1?

This makes it a bit annoying for my friends though, so I do apologise

That's easy.

1. Sock puppet account for telling jokes.

2. Another internet browser, so you can keep one account open in each.

3. Jokes and conversations.

Or just tell polite jokes, but they're rarely as good.