h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Every time I sneeze I remind myself of my father. I have exactly the same high-pitched sneeze, and I'm secretly pleased to hear it now and again.

My father had a light tenor voice, and a pleasant vocal quality whenever he warbled a few notes, but he had been told in early childhood that he was tone-deaf, and never expected that he could learn to sing in tune. As a result, whenever he sang,

It was wild--it was fitfull--as wild as the breeze--
It wandered about into several keys*

Mostly he would hum a few bars of an old song, but he preferred to hear us boys singing; his favourite was 'Brian O'Linn". A group of his grandchildren played it at his funeral ten years ago.

He surprised me in his last year, at the age of 85, by singing a whole song through. It was

O Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends
Worked hard all my life, Lord, no help from my friends
O Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz


*google 'Clonglocketty' for the full poem, or hit this http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/bab_ballads/html/ellen.html

I sneeze like my father, too - unfortunately it is a very loud sneeze. I can't make them any quieter and it's very embarrassing.

Off to check out that link now - I hope this one works!

Ah! - The universal written word. I feel thoroughly put in my place by the poem, although I have never knowingly offended a Scotsman, and I find the bagpipes moving, in certain places at certain times.

W S Gilbert is brilliant. He puts the reader on the wrong foot at the start, inviting you to participate in Torbay's cultural superiority, stringing you along nicely, and then demolishing you. Nobody is spared.