h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

AV; i totally sympathise with your situation; i had severe agoraphobia for many years, after being knocked down by cars not once, not twice, but three times. Living in a big city was impossible; thankfully my then partner understood; we sold the house & moved onto a narrowboat, gradually i became able to cross a small village lane with just the as a distraction.

It's a horrible thing; & totally affects how you relate to people in RL. Maybe you might take some hope from the fact that "us lot" on here *DO* understand & are sympathetic; we are Real people, with our own demons...so, maybe, just maybe, there might be other folk out there who are also OK?

It's probably more difficult for a female to go out & make fiends; i certainly disliked going into pubs alone; but i forced myself to do *something* involving actual human contact every day; if only saying hello to someone whilst planting seeds outside the house, or walking the dog. Dogs are great for that; most folk look at the doggie, not at you; then start chatting...if they like doggies, they are generally OK people.

Please don't give up hope re: online dating; i met P via that; we had both pretty much given up & we are 10 yrs older than you...be selective though; lurk their profile; then maybe message; then maybe instant chat, then *if* you feel comfortableish, maybe email (use a different account if necessary.)

If that seems OK, exchange phone numbers; you don't have to answer! Only when you are sure it's genuine, maybe make arrangements to meet in a public place & inform someone you trust where you are, who you are meeting etc.Make sure you have enough cash & an excuse to if you feel uncomfortable; get a friend (one of us if you like) to phone your mobile at pre-arranged time, say "oh gawd, must go, family crisis!" etc; so you have get-out clause....may help to have pre-arranged coded message for the caller to say if it's OK or that you feel uncomfortable.

But, honestly; my experiences have been positive; it's a good way to get to know somebody long before you meet in RL.

What about coming to a h2g2 meet somewhere near where you live? That might be a way of meeting trusted fiends in RL.

If you want to talk about this more, my email is :
zendevil3ATgmailDOTcom



zdt

I have panic attacks but they are not consistent. I am alright when I am walking around South Ockendon but worse in winter (especially going on a bus when it's getting dark in the dark in Grays as to me it's such a long journey. Just walking around Grays is very stressful but it lessens when Spring arrives and then starts again in mid-late October.

It all started when I had a job that was making me ill, took 1 and half hours to get and another 1 and half hours to get back. I was alright getting there but as it was winter coming back was a nerve-wrecking event. I was in pain all the pain time and my back was full of sweat. And ever since then I cannot travel on a bus when it's either getting dark or becoming dark.

I find that when my mother was suffering from agrophobia the doctor's were not very helpful and getting an appointment at my doctor's surgery is very difficult and the receptionist always asks what's wrong with you. They have an attitude that they would rather patients not bother the doctors and try and help themselves.

The best place to get help with agrophobia is from self-help groups but where I live everything tends to be in Ilford which is at least a two hour journey away.

Here is a place for information on anxiety and panic support:
http://www.anxietysupport.net/
as well as http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk/

I hope this can be of help.

My panic attacks are no way as bad as they used to be as when I lived in the Romford area, I could not even walk more than 5 minutes out of my house, even if I was with people.

av you should go to your doctors he can help more than you know
and in the long term you will slowly get better.

and you have us on here and you know i'm here to
but you must go and get some real help i trip to the doctors
could change your life.

av you should go to your doctors he can help more than you know
and in the long term you will slowly get better.

and you have us on here and you know i'm here
but you must go and get some real help one trip to the doctors
could change your life.
just take one step at a time your get there. .

It does take ages; i know; i still occasionally get panic attacks years later; usually when i feel i am being forced to cross a road in a place i don't feel comfortable with or in a crowded place & haven't worked out my escape route...

I'm one of those weirdos who actually listens to "in the event of an emergency" demonstrations, clocks emergency exits & rehearses worst case scenarios, possibly why i've survived so long so far!

Take it slowly, at your own pace is my advice; always remember *YOU* are in control; if a situation is making you feel bad, just leave calmy.

I somewhat personally disagree with doctor stuff; they put me on mega-doses of anti-anxiety & depression stuff; which in my case made me feel even worse; more alienated; but it may work for others.

I tend to feel "People need people, not psychiatry"...shrinks are paid to do it, other folk try & help out because they actually care; which is reassuring in itself, once you trust them.

P has just returned from his Shaman weekend & seems to be loads better after his spiritual journey, coming to terms with loss of Edda, his son seeming so hostile, our own personal stuff, worK pressure etc. I am so glad he found it helpful. I doubt it would work with me; i am too sceptical; i just am a basic Hedge Witch zendevil..."do no harm, hope for good, accept bad happens" (weights two bee burnt at the steak)

zdt

Garrgh, i am usibg P,s english keyboard computer, can, find\a thing, but my nice french one seems to have some sort of problem, happily TRiG is arriving tomorrow and can hopefully sort it.

Meanwhile p has "man flu"( would rolleyes if i could find the arrows, he seems to have removed that button for some reason)

Didn2t realise till now how i am so used to frecnh keyboard. Send garlic vite!

zdt

Terri I have tried using a ergonomic a few times but never got used to it as I was trained using a qwerty keyboard, first on a manual typewriter, then an electric typewriter and then graduated to a word processor.

I hope that you will be able to get your hands on a French type keyboard.

There has been a study to about 'man flu' recently and they say it is because men's immune system is lower than women's.

Love, try ebay. As everybody wants qwerty or qwertz, garlic keyboards are cheaper.

>>I tend to feel "People need people, not psychiatry"...shrinks are paid to do it, other folk try & help out because they actually care; which is reassuring in itself, once you trust them.<<

I have actually been seeing a therapist for a few months now; at first I was reluctant, but it's really been very good for me. I suppose as in everything, there are good ones and bad ones, though; trial and error and so on. But it could be a very good thing, having someone listening to you like that, even if it is 'just' their job. And you know you have full discretion, and that it's their job to listen and not judge you, so in a way, you can build trust much more easily.
Of course, it's a personal thing. But I'm just saying it could be a very good process.

Had therapy for about half a year. Did me no end of good.

There's a big difference between therapists, who listen to people talk and help them modify their perceptions of and responses to things (IMO a good thing!), and shrinks, who make up nonexistent illnesses, or give people diagnoses they've never had, in order to write more prescriptions.

Then again, not all therapists are great, either. I visited a therapist for a while, during a period of extended unemployment, to help me sort through some anger issues related to my mother. Therapist thought I should take something to help with some mild anxiety I had (a reasonable reaction to not working for over a year, and *hating* it). She wouldn't discuss with my GP, and instead referred me to some idiot shrink who tried to say I had PTSD. Um, I've never been in a combat zone, thanks. Idiot. Fortunately I talked to my GP and he assured me my anxiety was normal and *temporary*, and I didn't need to take *anything* for it. I eventually parted ways with that therapist as well (because she would "forget" our scheduled appointments and book other clients at the same time).

Incidentally, Terri, I am assuming you received my email from about 4-5 days previously (after you last posted to my recent journal entry), and just haven't had the opportunity to respond (your computer on the fritz and all). Additional developments since then... but nothing I'll disclose here.

Huh. This might be a language-barrier thing, but I always assumed that 'shrink' is just a nickname for a therapist. I'm pretty sure I've seen it used this way, but maybe I'm wrong...
So, is 'shrink' reserved for psychiatrists? Or is it necessarily a derogatory term, for charlatans of either practice, as your description seems to imply?
I am curious about usage, because, since I really like my therapist, I'd hate to be making some kind of unintentional mistake when talking about her.

Anyway, yeah, there are bad, charlatan psychologists and psychiatrists, like there are bad, charlatan people in most professions (although it is usually most infuriating in professions when other people rely on you physically - as with doctors - or mentally/emotionally). Your experience sound terrible, and I'm glad you got out of it okay.
However, I'd like to be a bit of a pedant and a nitpicker here, and point out that (a) PTSD is not necessarily related to being in a war zone; this is one of the reasons old names like 'shell-shock' or 'battle fatigue' were replaced by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, because it can be caused by many, many things (war of course, but also abuse, rape, a car accident... one of the main causes seems to be a feeling of helplessness and the inability to escape). I understand why being misdiagnosed with PTSD by someone who apparently was not paying you much attention is frustrating, but I did want to make that correction.
I think I had a (b), somewhere in my mind, before... ah, nevermind. That's enough pedantry for now.

Because "shrink" has negative connotations (at least where I'm from ), I use it only for psychiatrists and other such quacks, and not (necessarily) for therapists.

Had the shrink suggested I may have had PTSD *immediately* after the accident, perhaps he might have had something. Clearly I would not be suffering PTSD *seven years* after the accident. Obviously that accident has no bearing whatsoever on the here and now.

But yeah- enough of that for now... I don't mean to derail Terri's thread!

for butting in. 'Shrink' here generally denotes a psychiatrist, and a slightly derogatory way.

As for PTSD it can surface many years after a major event, sometimes triggered by another upset, or an just be an ongoing, undiagnosed problem, so it is not entirely unreasonable. Of course if you were not being listened to, then it probably was a wrong diagnosist relates to many more traumas than those in a war zone.

Websailor

Dont worry about derailing my thread, i am very interested to hear your views.

If PTSD involves feelings of helplessness, i may have a severe case of it right now. I often feel the only safe place is on here or snuggled up in bed with Yoda.

more details only by email please.

zdt

Got your email, and replied. Eating dinner at the mo, so maybe I was too brief- but I expect a quiet day at the office tomorrow so maybe we can email back and forth or manage a Google chat or something?

That would be great my Wooh, but remember it,s not my computer, so anybody can access it who has password to Intrnet Explorer system.

Thanks so much for your email.

Bon appetit!

zdt

Yes- at least you can delete chat cache or delete sent/received emails if needed. I'll see how much time I have later today (and will respond to latest email).

I've finally given in and gone on Prozac; would welcome anybody elses views who have had it (in true Irish way, they remove the package insert info)

Today's joy and delight was a tree blown over in last nights gale force winds,completely blocking the lane out from the house, so P couldn't get out to get my meds.

He phoned County Council; they are on strike.
I phoned ESB (electric board) 'cos there is a power line to neighbours house around there, got told since we are not on the grid, she can do nothing, even if it,s a danger; she suggested i go and see if the cable is live!!!!!!

Then i phoned the Gardai (Police), a helpful copper said he'd do what he could, but since most of the County is without electricity, we are in fact fortunate 'cos we generate our own.

Eventually we heard a chainsaw; the neighbour, so between us managed to hack the tree up and move it.

P has gone back to bed and i don't blame him; hauling trees around in a snowstorm when you have flu is no fun. At least it's stopped snowing now....anyone else snowed in?

P is due to visit the Ice House tomorrow, i reckon that's an early April Fools joke given the weather!

zdt