This is the Message Centre for Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 21

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

smiley - smoochsmiley - hug

Good to you here m'dear.


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 22

zendevil


Oooh, they are all of those; does that mean i get to kiss both of you?

*Drools in anticipation....no, i dare not reveal the fantasies, this is a family site.smiley - winkeye

zdt


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 23

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

smiley - smooch


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 24

zendevil


smiley - ta

You have more idea than most folks why even *one* person sending a *virtual* smiley - kiss can make a huge difference.

zdt


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 25

Brown Eyed Girl

smiley - smooch I'd send kisses to most of my hootoo friends - specially Azathoth and Terri, with an extra smiley - kisssmiley - cat for Yoda!


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 26

zendevil


My pusssmiley - cat purrs nicely & says "murky buckets; would you like one of my sardines? Or maybe you'd prefer thatsmiley - coolsmiley - musicalnotesmiley - fish person (the piano tuna)"

zdt


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 27

zendevil


My post got yikesed on my Eye thread. I didn't swear; all i said was how depressed i am feeling & how i had phoned a helpline, who hadn't actually helped at all. Being prevented from even expressing your own depressed state on "supposedly" your own journal strikes me as either some spiteful person trying to goad me to the *no; not allowed to mention nasty things* type of solution or Auntie Beeb decreeing that only chirpy, nice postings are allowed.

Be warned.

Camel's back & straw. Just one.

zdt


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 28

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

smiley - hug That sucks... smiley - erm Be good to yourself, it was brave of you try using one of those helplines.


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 29

zendevil


Thanks. Yes, it was, i think only those of us who have been brave/desperate enough to do so realise this. I once phoned the UK Samaritans from the 17th floor of a block of flats in Dubai.

Don't know what to say really. I spent 3 years trying every which way to help someone cope with their depression, turned out to have been con trick of the century, which everybody told me, but stooopidly; i continued to have faith "He keeps saying all he needs is Real Love; i am giving him this, he will be OK".....like as hell. He used me, exhausted me totally, bought himself a house by the sea & taught me to mistrust pretty well everyone on the planet.

Why???? I've done nasty things to people; but i couldn't have done this. How can anybody say seriously "Oh, i never loved anyone for longer than a month, not even my ex wife or my kids or parents"

Ah well; we live & learn. Not a nice lesson.

zdt


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 30

Ellen

I'm sorry somebody yikes'd you Terri. I've sent an email. Hang in there.


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 31

Snailrind

A very not nice lesson. smiley - cuddlesmiley - smooch


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 32

zendevil


Indeed.

Maybe we should emulate the life-cycle ofsmiley - bluebutterfly; most of us lot seem to be suffering from a lack of "hard case pupa" stage. We've done eggs & caterpillars. They get squashed.

Snaily, you might appreciate this, i don't know if Azathoth & JEllen are familiar with Sylvia Plath: Poetess, married to Ted Hughes,she committed suicide. Oddly enough, his next lover did likewise & killed their baby daughter too.

I made a cheesebox. It's a longhaired blond dolly sitting on a throne, arms outstretched, awaiting adoration. Above is a sheep vertebra (smiley - winkeye) Stones on the base, bamboo on the roof, tarot cards on the walls. Encased in a cigar box "smoking affects not just you, but your entourage"

And what links the various elements & Our Fiend in the centre are Sylvia's words, torn carefully from her book:

*And your first gift is making stone out of everything.
I wake to a mausoleum; you are here.

*Ticking your fingers on the marble table, looking for cigarettes
Spiteful as a woman, but not so serious.

*And dying to say something unanswerable.

(Sylvia Plath: Ariel & other poems)smiley - rose

zdt


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 33

Snailrind

Sounds like a really excellent cheesebox. smiley - smiley

I didn't know about Ted Hughes's second wife! smiley - yikes


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 34

Snailrind

Er, lover, even.


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 35

zendevil


smiley - rofl The two states are often so different, yet related, with such type of a person, quite probably this is connected with the final tragic outcome?: here's the Wiki starter for ten:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Hughes

Google Ted Hughes & Assia & Shura; but not when feeling morbid. I doubt that it is gender related; i think some people just feel pain & intense love "more" & tragically,wonderfully, they often attract others who do also....because they understand. Upside = great mutual creativity when at least one partner is "up/manic"; it's infectious. Downside = if both hit the pits at the same time........even more infectious & sometimes fatal.

zdt




Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 36

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

True. smiley - sadface


Last Exit To Nowhere

Post 37

Br Robyn Hoode - Navo - complete with theme tune

I know a couple of people who are bi-polar and such... And they for the most part wouldn't give it up, they find the passions and creativity exhilarating and addictive.

Personally, I enjoy my nice steady time... I have passions, joys, sadnesses, creative bursts and times of looking inside... But I feel safe knowing none of them will own me absolutely and there will be a change along soon. The idea of that breathless grip of passion taking me for a ride and being completely in that moment, whichever way it goes, is an interesting idea for me, but I'd rather read a good book about it than experience it myself... It scares me silly- steady, safe and apparently bloody nuts me... (I overheard a friend saying to another friend last saturday that it's lucky I dont often drink... I'm scary enough sober smiley - winkeye)


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