h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've just heard today that one of my ex girlfriends, Nicky has died... the exacts how and why of it I still don't know... but I suspect that it was likely drink and drugs that did it for her in the end...

In and effort to not end up in A&E with my cutting I have developed a more ritualistic approacgh to my self harm...
First I take a and fold it 3ways, then I place the on my lap and grip it edge hard before taking the knife to my arm and carefully cutting no more than 2mm deep and no more than 2 inches long 5 to 10 times, no more no less. At present I like to listen to Requim in d minor whilst doing this...

Dont use a towel, blood stains unless you get it off quickly (mum always wraps my arm in a towel when I need to go to casualty and it never fully comes off), use a plastic bag and kitchen towel....hold a towel in your hand if you need to though...

The temptation is to run a mile from this conversation where I feel so totally out of my depth.
I have no words of wisdom... no magic wand... no intention of saying "pull yourself together"... errrrrrr?

requiem in d minor? by who?

I apologise if this next thought is offensive (silliness is a sort of safety valve for me sometimes when I get stressed) but have you tried playing say... the theme to captain Pugwash instead?
A tune which always makes me smile.

My brother Jake by Free is another that always puts me in a better mood.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend Nicky...
There is no good time for a tragedy to strike.

I'm glad to hear from you (you just carry on mate - shock this monkey some more).
I'll be here...

talking toot,
or some sort of close approximation

Suz, I't a towel I'm not too fusssed if it gets stained or not... I grip it to provide a 'focus' so that I don't end up slashing at my arm wildly... and also if I do cut to deep I can quickly wrap it up in the towel without getting blood on the carpet...

Pooley, Reqiem in d minor by Mozart. I've tried listening to Monty Python Sings when I'm depressed it just make me more frustrated... Thanks for thinking of me though... Nicky did it to herslef, I just hope death came as a release...

Hope to talk toot soon...

Release...

I used to have a neighbour who was already an alcoholic when her husband died suddenly of a heart attack aged just 40 something
leaving her a widow with 3 teenagers

She used to come round sometimes when she needed some company
She was our friend
She'd already been hospitalized a number of times

We moved away (I got a job)

She died

Please tell me thats not my fault - cos I feel I should have been there

Jim

It wasn't your fault. You had to move, to take care of your family. Did your moving contribute to your friend's death? Possibly, but you have no way of knowing that for sure. Even if she left a note blaming you, you couldn't know if it was more than a last attempt to make someone hurt as much as she was. Likely, it was the fault of the alcohol...

Kam

Sorry I didn't post sooner, but I never know what to say about self-harm

It's not your fault, you did what you had to do for yourself and your own family...
If someone chooses to die it is about themselves and no-one else... if she died at her own hand directly or indirectly it was about the choices she made for herself...

Thanks, I know its not at all my fault really but its the "What ifs" that sometimes haunt. No-one ever forgets the times in their own lives when they felt they had nowhere and no-one to turn to. I've been lucky and found friends in unexpected places when I've most needed them.

I would wish anyone out there as much luck as i've had - we all deserve it

I can understand that...