h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just wanted to say how utterly brilliant you are and... I saw your comment in the "where can I find some nice friendly girls thread" and wondered if you needed a shoulder to talk to (I know I'm confusing my analogies) about the gay side, or in fact anything else!
Bearing in mind I'm a simalar age and have been through a simalar sort of thing..
If you want to talk off site I can add you to my msn, mine's on my user page, but like yours it doens't respond to mail.

See you

Hi Z...
I'm a Bi man... I do have several neurosises that mean I can get down... strangely I've never felt uncomfortable in myself about being Bi or had any real doubts that this is the way I'm ment to be...
the closest I've ever come to being truely down is when a gay male suggested that there was no such thing as Bi and one had to be either straight or Gay... If I ever had to choose I would not find it hard to live as straight man, infact significantly easier than as gay man... as you implied in the other thread... serious relationships and long term commitment are rare... another important factor would be that I do have a desire within me to be a father... none of which are to be found in the gay scene and I'm geographically isolated from that... living as I do on the rural High Weald... besides to quote the old cliché "A fat man is noone on the gay scene"... and I've gained alot of weight since I broke up in November... that was with a gorgeous girl I started looking for one night stands in January... They were all with with one exception with whom ever I could pull that had a vague resemblance to "her"...
I haven't done anything about my gay side for so long... the only man I've met in RL recently that I've had any attraction too was Ashley!!! And he is very much out of my league and very much not single...
So I don't know what to do with myself... I feel I should look for a man to stop myself from entering into something I'd regret with a girl on the "rebound" but then that in itself is a desire motivated by wanting get away from "her" I don't still thinmk I'm in love with her... if anything I'm starting to resent how much of an influence she has had on me...

I'm waffling and not going anywhere... I guess it's good to get it out of my head so it isn't just going around in circle in there...
Please if you ever want to waffle at me, I'll welcome it... I'm not the most chatty on IM at the mo... but I'll add you anyway incase I can ever be and ear or shoulder for you too...

Sorry for taking advantage of your listening-shoulder...

Hi Stealth!

Nice to hear from you! glad you got back to me!

Firstly no need to be about apologising for taking advantage of my listening shoulder, feel free to tell me your neurosis any time that you want too! Though I'm not Bi I've lived on both Planet Straight and Planet gay! I do believe that there's such a thing and BI and that you don't have to choose! (I have been out with several different bi girls!) but most people eventually choose to have a monogamous relationship with one or the other and at that time as a show of commitement to their partner choose to begin to identify as one or the other...

But really there's no need to choose it all depends on who you fall in love with...If you do end up living as gay, then there are plently of ways to have a monogamous relationship and to have children. Even if it's just though lesbian couples who are looking for a father for their children. It's certainly easier to do on Planet Straight though isn't it?

Being Geographicall isolated shouldn't really stop you in this day and age, especuially now you have access to the internet.. are you on gaydar and Outintheuk?

Most of my friends are on both, and have made many friends on both...

I know the feeling about being obbessed with an her! but there's as much chance of going on the rebound with a guy as a girl!

hope you're feeling better soon

I'm not on those no, I guess I've not so much always been comfortable with being Bi as complacent not really looked at it as striding two planets/cultures...
I think I've been lazy and waited for a man to come to me rather put myself out there...
Geographical isolation is just the tip of the Iceburg as far as reasons and some excuses go...
When I say i want to be a father, I think a part of want is to live the role of father... I can and have been in love with a man but mostly I see it as lust...
A part of what went wrong in this last relationship was she would never have survived carrying a child... children had never come up but I realised that I was prepared to sacrifice that desire to have her... and that scared me...
I'm not obsessed with her anymore so much as the psycological torture my loving her allowed her to put me through... I'm obsessed with the what could have beens not what was...
It's passing though I'm not afraid to let myself hate I know that there is no way we go back to being friends again...

I will look at those sites and I will remember the benifits of your experiance and broader perspective...

Hope to chat to you about something less serious/depressing sometime soon
Unless my shoulder can be of use...

I'm not going to say that I know exactly how you feel, because I don't! but I am starting to wonder if I'm feeling the same thing!

I really do want children, even though they can't be mine biologically, and for some reason despite being 21 I don't feel too young to settle down.. it's nice to know that someone else my age has simalar feelings! (maybe not now but in the future)

Good luck on Out and Gaydar, (gaydar, as I'm sure you'll find out, is a lot more sex orientated and can be a bit depressing if you're looking for a relationship)!

I'm looking for something... I know that much... what it is I'm yet to find out...

It is good to know someone can empathise with such feelings... good luck and sucess when the time comes...

Part of what I'm feeling is not really knowing what it is that I'm feeling for a large part of the time...
I hope you find some answers to anything you're asking yourself now