Why post?
My thoughts persist in bugging me, especially when i'm sober. They get curled up in my head until I find myself discussing the thermodynamics of a black hole with some stranger I have just met. Of course they usually mumur aknowledgement, then quickly make excuses and leave. This has cost me dearly in my social life, so usually I drink enough so that whatever comes out of my mouth is some insignificant burble of spittle and slured words. Amazingly this keeps my social circles in check. It does bring up the question about English youth culture, but before I talk about that let me have a quick drink....ahhh bliss.
Depression has also hung to me these past few years since University days when the drinking was, well my life. The drink = depression or depression = drink, i'm not sure which way round this has happened as it seems so long ago now. The thing is I became happy with my depression, I felt I could take a step back and look at the world through blue eyes and see all the horrible things in people. Originally they were all better than me but i soon realised the world was at fault not me.
I live in happy days now almost clear of those days of drink and depression. They still haunt me now and again but I have learnt not to let them take over. Also leaving England for seven months has helped (Crete I love you and I will miss you when i'm gone!!) Slowly slowly the good in people has begun to shine again and i feel able to express myself. I have taken to discussing the curled up thoughts on this site, and I thank you for that, for without my social life would be in ruins and the world would be a much bleaker place...
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| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
| There isn't one | Dec 8, 2002 | Nov 8, 2004 |
| [no subject] | Dec 8, 2002 | Dec 8, 2002 |
| one and a half weeks | Oct 10, 2002 | No Replies |
| Today being the first | Oct 9, 2002 | No Replies |
| The moment before i forget. | Oct 9, 2002 | No Replies |
John Shlong
Researcher U205804
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