h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is where I will recognize awesome away messeges that I think are very funny or in some way clever. Or maybe ones that I hate and why.

"Auto response from CuriousPregnancy: The rustic style walls look worn and abused as I pass between them. Inside people gather and enjoy what is bred deep within the rookery's bowels. As it is brought to them upon their specific request they consume their sustenance with vigor. I am the enabler. I serve at Chili's.Auto response from CuriousPregnancy: The rustic style walls look worn and abused as I pass between them. Inside people gather and enjoy what is bred deep within the rookery's bowels. As it is brought to them upon their specific request they consume their sustenance with vigor. I am the enabler. I serve at Chili's."

This is a superior awat message.

Sex Dash: Sitting in class, my eyelids scream to be closed. The creeping doom that is blur moves into the peripherals of my eyes, cruelly tempting my brain to let everything go and succumb to the nagging exhaustion. I hear the professor speak, his monotone like a lulaby in my ears, urging my tired mind to wander into unconciousness. I wake up then, hoping that class has finally come to an end, but then scream savagely inside as I realize that I am lying in my bed, awaking from the torturous, reoccuring nightmare of the morning that is soon to come.

The only ones you like are long and involved and use symbolism. I think those are good, but they take a long time to read. An away message is good as long as it is entertaining, and does not say what you are actually doing.

I agree, and as soon as I see a good short one, I will post it.

If aliens came down to Earth and watched BET, they would think exactly what racists think: black people are nothing but a bunch of rappers and criminals who take great pleasure in "sippin' juice" and "poppin' caps."

Yes this is one of mine. But it was a collaborative effort. I must thanks Kari, Dash and Jen (the local English major) for getting all the grammar right. I think it's the most beautiful sentence ever written. It has a good message also. That message is never watch BET because it degrades the black man.

"This is everyone's fault but mine"

This is one from Katherine. I enjoy the way it's a really tacky thing to say, but saying it so boldly makes it humorous, so me at least. Kinda like an away message that says "Why can't Shakespear just talk in English?" I enjoy this away message.

I am sorry, I was informed that the above away message is actually a quote from the Simpsons. But it's okay, Katherine made the board again with this work.

Auto response from Cat0two: I am fixing Tiny Tim: he has bubbles in his throat

Those of you who know how I feel about the colon will understand. Sure it could have been a comma, period, or semi-colon. But it's a colon. Just for me.....

I have been getting lots of porn IMs lately. Some are so funny I need to post them. Like this one.

"See the Asian sluts too stupid to wear clothes."

"Oh i bet you wish you were my homework...you'd be so hard and i'd be doing you on my desk right now"

-witneyx0x0

"If you are reading this then I'd be sad if you died." -Malone