h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Elentari,
Your virgin sub calling I am really please that your entry is in my first ever batch - it is here: A19877773, so if there is anything in particular you would like me to do for you, gis a shout.


W

Hi Wilma, I didn't know you were a sub now! Congrats!

A few things which are my fault, not yours:

"Wentorth" -> "Wentworth" in the Wentworth college section.

Also, the section explaining the collegiate system seems to have disappeared. I don't know if that was deliberate or not, but it really needs to be in there. This is the paragraph I'm refering to:

"York is a collegiate university, in that all students, with the exception of students of the Hull York Medical School1, are placed into a college, of which they remain members throughout their time at university. Colleges act as a glorified hall of residence, as almost all contain a bar, canteen, laundry and so on. Most students live in their college during their first year at university and it is also possible to return in later years, though the majority of students prefer to take out private rentals in the city."

which should be the first paragraph in the Campus and Colleges section.

Also, I have a little story I'd like to add in. After this line "students are strongly advised to visit the doctor if they should come into contact with its fetid waters." can you add this:

"Being built around a lake, the university has a great deal of wildfowl. If you have a terrible phobia of ducks, York is not the university for you. In fact, killing a duck is an offence which will get you expelled, while if you kill a person, you can return after your prison sentence is complete! A well-known and rather gruesome campus story concerns a ChineseThe University has a number of overseas students, many of whom are Chinese. student whose cleaner discovered a pair of duck's feet in his bin. It turned out that he had caught, killed and eaten one of the campus ducks."

I think that's all, thanks Wilma!

Actually, also after this bit in Campus and Colleges: "Most of the university's departments are based in colleges but a few others have their own buildings, including the Physics and Electronics building which dominates the centre of campus."

could you please add:

"Many of the paths around campus are covered which is nice when the weather is bad."

Thank you! I keep thinking of things to add, sorry!

That's what I'm here for, Elentari, don't apologise for making this easier for me! I haven't quite got 'round to editing yet but this is the thread I will refer to when I do, and I will let you know when I am done so you can 'yea' or 'nay'


W

No hurry!

Hi again, Elentari,

The edits you requested in this threaad are done.

I still need to go through the PR thread to make sure everything is as it should be, and add some links for you, but I was wondering whether in the meantime you could tell me what is missing here (under 'James') something seems to have gone awry at some point and I don't want to assume what you mean to say:

"The failure to include such vital student facilities was and is much to the bemusement of students."


W

No, that's what I meant. It comes after the line about there not being a bar, and is explaining that students, both when it was built and now, don't understand why a bar was not constructed. Feel free to reword it if you don't understand!

I actually understand it now you've said that,but wonder whether this might not be clearer (I'll change it back if you prefer):

>> The failure to include such vital student facilities was (and is) cause for much bemusement to students. <<

Other than this, which I am still not confodent about, I think I am done.

I have tweaked a few bits here and there - sentence structure mainly.. loaded you up on h2g2 links where available and added TITLE tags to some of your web urls (outside links) so they look pretty on the right handside ...

So unless there is anything else, I just need you to ok what I have done so far (a quick read through should do it), confirm your preference for the sentence above and.. that would be it

Wilma

Thanks Wilma, that sentence is better.

I did notice this, which is entirely my fault:

"Most of the university's departments are based in colleges but a few others have their own buildings, including the Physics and Electronics building which dominates the centre of campus. Many of the paths around campus are covered which is particularly useful when the weather is bad.

Next to this is Central Hall"

It's because I asked you to add in the last sentence in the first paragraph without looking at what followed, so now the "next to this" bit doesn't really make sense. Could you just start it with "Central Hall" and rewrite the sentence if you need to so it makes sense? Thanks.

There was one other thing I saw...

Also my fault:

"The Committee is an elected group of undergraduate students, almost always freshers and second years, who basically run undergraduate affairs at the college. This ranges from organising events such as club nights and the Christmas Ball, putting on bar quizzes, karaoke nights, providing welfare support to students, organising sponsorship, purchasing college-branded merchandise and so on."

Could you change "ranges from" to "includes"? Makes more sense that way.

That's it, thanks so much Wilma!

Hi Elentari,

1. sorry, I should have thought about that... I moved it further south to the Quiet Place - just because it seemed to fit there - see what you think:

... and topiary designed as an area for students to relax. Also rather thoughtful, is the fact that many of the paths around campus are covered - particularly useful when the weather is bad.

2. Includes included

to read it through just one more time

Wilma

That's great, thanks!

Slight problem Wilma, hope it's not too late. I was just talking to my friend who told me about the places the BBC Philharmonic considers the worst venues they play, and apparently the second one is not in Bolton as I stated in the entry.

Accordingly, could you please change footnote 2 to read:

"The other is Derby Town Hall."

No problem at all, Elentari

*finger hovers over submit button*

I'm sending it off now

*click*



Wilma

Sorry to keep adding things!

It's gone to the eds now.

W