h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiya Elentari,
I've been assigned to sub-edit your entry on Pericles. My version's at A9370064 if you want a look. It's a very well written entry, so I've not made many changes. Anyhow, let me know of any complaints you have.

Bagpuss!

My only real comment is here:

"This gave Athens more time to prepare for the Peloponnesian War, which many considered inevitable." (Pericles the General section).

I don't know if that's what I wrote or if you changed it, but it reads a bit like many considered it inevitable that the Athenians would get more time to prepare.

How about:

"Many now considered a war between Athens and Sparta to be inevitable, but Pericles' actions gave the Athenians more time to prepare."

I prefer "and" to "but", but otherwise I've made the change. Ambiguity's always best avoided, even if the meaning should be clear from context.

By the way, congratulations on your new appointment, and thanks for introducing me to the tag. That'll make things a bit easier.

Thank you! I'm enjoying myself so far.

Sorry about this, Elentari, but I just found a problem. Your "Peloponnesian War" link in the first paragraph is a bit dead. Do you have another to replace it with?

Uh oh - how's this one? I'm not sure about the copyright issues.

http://www.laconia.org/gen_info_literature/Peloponnesian_war.htm

Protected by AOL?

Nah, should be okay; we're only linking to them, not pinching stuff.

Sending the entry in now.

Thanks for all that Bagpuss!

S'okay.