h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here's 1 4 u,

2 FISHES IN A TANK
ONE SEZ TO THE OTHER,

"HOW THE HELL DO U DRIVE THIS THING?"

Oh, that's BAD, Faith!

They get worse........
Every thing i write, say after it
"Inspectorboobs" ok....

Whats ur name?

Where do u come from?

Wot would u do if the queen died?

They're so bad, you GOTTA laugh!

Yeah, My jokes are terrible, but that's wots so funny about them....

Here's another....

Every day the black tarmac goes to the pub, bragging about how hard he is, he's always saying he can beat up anyone, Til this one day, red tarmac comes in. Black tarmac doesn't say a word. WHen red tarmac leaves the bar tender sez to the black tarmac thought u where hard, why did u go all quiet when the red tarmac wes in?
black tarmac replies, Don't be daft, he's a bloody cyclepath......

lmao........xx

*laughs until tears run*

Now that one was actually pretty d@mn clever!


Thanks, Faith, I needed this!

Glad to help hun......

Man goes into a pub, carrying a budgie, He sez 2 the bar tender, "a pint 4 me & a pint 4 my budgie",
bar tender sez "ur budgie?"
Man sez "wot of it like? my budgie wants a pint he can have a pint! this budgie is the hardest budgie around"
Bar tender sez, "i have a pigeon that could kick ur budges butt" Man sez "$100 sez it cant"
They go out leave the 2 birds in the room, go back in 5 mins l8r, the pigeons, lying ko'd on the floor.
Next day, same happens, bar tender sez he has a cockatoo thats harder than his budgie, budgie kicks its butt.
Then on the 3rd day, Bar tender sez "£500 that my parrot is gonna beat ur budge" so again, the 2 birds are left in a room. 5 mins l8r the 2 men go in, the parrots lying on the floor & the budgie has no feathers, the man sez to his budgie "wot happened?" Budgie replies, The parrot was tough, i had to take off my jacket".....

lmao.....xx

"i had to take off my jacket".....


Where on earth do you get these???

Well that joke i remember from primery 7...... a long time ago.....

Have u cheered up yet, or do u need more of my excellent (terrible) jokes.... lmao....xx

Actually, I've cheered up immensely, but if you've got more that beg to be shared, go for it!

Here's a few to keep u going,

There's an english man, an irish man & a scots man on the run from suddan hussain, The english man hides in a bucket, the scots man hides behide sum crates & the irish man hides in a potato sack....
Suddan prods the bucket & the english man sez "MEEEAAAOOOWWWW"
He walks to the crates & the scots man sez "WOOF", "WOOF"
He then walks up to the potato sack & prods it, the irish man sez "POTATO, POTATO"......lmao.....

What's the height of stupidity?
2 bald men fighting over a comb.

What happened 2 the irish man who killed his wife in a bath of acid?
He burnt his hands pulling out the plug.

What happened to the irish man when he tried to iron his curtains?
He fell out the window.

What happened to the irish man who tried to iron his jeans?
He burnt his leg......


There u go, My crappy jokes, Glad uve cheered up hun, i'm gonna make changes to my page now, So if i go quiet, i'm not ignoring u.....I'll probably be shouting & ing at the tv, coz it's gone wrong..... lmao.... Bye 4 now hun
Faith xx

Thanks for the jokes and the company, Faith. with your page, and here's some and a to keep you hydrated...

Thanx hun, Gave up with my page 4 the momment. was gettin annoyed with it. Cheers 4 the drink. Will get back to fixing it 2nite. Bye hun
Faith xx

Hey hun, howz u? All cheered up now??
Faith xx

Yeah, mood's fine tonight. How're you, Faith? Have some

Hiya, Glad 2 hear it hun..... I'm fine thanx hun, but 2nite it's me that's grumpy..... H2G2 have hidden my page 4 moderation, coz i put a few Buffy pix on it..... Dunno wot the big deal is, i've read the house rules & can't see wot i've done.... a few of us has had this done 2day. I spent hours last nite doin my page.... ing h2g2.....
Excuse me hun...... just needed 2 air my frustation.... &
i needed that drink......
Faith xx

Bummer about your page! They must have copyright issues or some such. Hopefully they'll sort it out quickly!

Hey, vent all you like...you've listened to me doing it! I'd offer to tell you jokes to cheer you up, but all the jokes I know would get moderated!

lmao...... Why d'u think i gave u my cheezy jokes hun..... I had loadz, but i would've ended up barred.
I dunno, about copyright, The codes where there..... Why have codes that we're not allowed 2 use? Doesn't make sence.......
Anyway, howz ur day been hun??..xx

Today, good. Yesterday, bad!

15 hour work day (5 hrs driving) with a long boring meeting. Hit a deer on the way home, which is why it was so long. Didn't hurt me or the truck, but had to put the deer down.

Fortuantely, things were MUCH better today, and I'm off the next two!

How about you, other than getting modded?

Yeah thingz have been pretty good. Gotta take my dog Kasha 2 vet 2moro tho, she's not been eatin i've changed her diet & tried taking her food away & still she's not eatin, She's lost 2 pounds in the last week.
She was on dry food, then about 5wks ago i put her on pedigree chum meet & she was eating 4 the 1st 2 wks, then stopped again. I have no idea why..... My cat's in heat 2, cought her trying 2 get it on with Kasha's tinkywinky telletubby toy to the other day, poor Kasha was wondering what winnie was up 2.....lmao....
Howz ur pets hun?
xx