h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Greetings High Inquisitor Skullock
It seems as though you are a bit under the weather today, but I sure you can walk it off. I request that you report to the Vogon City at once and help Zok and I destroy the pagan palace.

I've had enough with this...inquisition. If you want to destroy someone for evil practices, come after me. But if you fail, I assure you that you will become dead like so many before you. Your days of glory are over it is now the day of the Dark Watcher. Vogon City does not compare to my beautiful hovel, the evil that is there, is far greater than is in any hell. I am a truly evil being.

*Crouches in the shadows, running a finger along the blade of a knife.*

Mystrunner, while you are crouching there, I must ask if you desire to join the Inquisition.

Yes, I would.

I'll just slap an Inquisitor nametag and rank badge on you then, welcome aboard.

*Steps out from the shadows*

Hello. My name is Mr Legion and I am a bad, bad person. And I feel that I should be inquisitioned. For being bad. Thank you.

Thank you.