h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Famous Potatoes"

Idaho's license plates.

I remembered that one

Without googling, what are two of Ohio's dominant license plate slogans?

I'll give you a hint - neither of them really tell you anything about the state.

Didn't we have one the other night - "With God, all things are possible"? Or is that not license plates?

Hang on ... another blinding flash ... 'Buckeye State'?

No, that's just the state motto. (and gosh, I hate it. Not so much because of the violation of church and state, though there's that, but because it has nothing to do with our state. The old one was 'Imperium in Imperio', an Empire within an Empire, but that's pretty pretentious, isn't it?)

Buckeye state is our nickname. But that is on a lot of license plates just not ours.

Give up?

The one on my car, I believe is 'The Birthplace of Aviation'. Wright Brothers. I guess it tells us that the Wrights were born here (and I'll have you know Orville lived for many years just down the street from me) but I don't really like that. The other is 'The Heart of it all', because Ohio is sort of shaped like a heart. And was in the center of the country, back when Idaho was our western frontier

I have to sleep...

Well thanks! I didn't know the Wright brothers were Ohioans (I'm guessing that North Carolina is involved in some sort of tussle over the 'birthplace of aviation' claim, right? )

Good night!

Ehm, something like that. Damn North Carolinians (who incidentally cannot drive, so if you see an NC license plate, you have two reasons to avoid them...) got statehood first, so they put the Wrights on their state coin first.
As far as I'm concerned, they had soft ground and good winds. We fostered innovation

'Birthplace of Aviation' is a nice catchall. We're where the Wrights lived and died. Also where John Glenn and Neil Armstrong live, by the way.

I'll have some of that fresh celebration cake.
Want a cabinet job, by the way?

Well, you're welcome to it Many congratulations

Now it's all over, it would be hugely churlish of me to say you didn't deserve it, because you did - you in particular put in a spectacular amount of work.

(If I'm being honest, I'm actually more than a little amazed we came in sixth - due in no small part to B'Elana, who convinced some people to vote for us in the dying stages just by being really nice and asking them politely. Who would have guessed? )

Oo, a cabinet post! That's very generous ... but I'm going to have to say no. Wouldn't be right. I have my memoirs to write

The only thing I would ask is if I might add you to my friends list? I wanted to ask a couple of times during the election ... but that didn't seem quite right either.

You might have taken it for a form of espionage

Certainly. I'll do the same

Sure it would be right to accept a cabinet post. The last cabinet was huge - anyone can have a cabinet post. I'm just offering you one early, so you's can have the cream of the crop. All the good ones are still up for grabs

Hegemonies are quite lovely when they're working on your side

Well, if it turns out that everyone's joining the cabinet ... that might be even more of a reason to bow out. Or turn up really late and get something very peculiar which requires no effort whatsoever. The good ones aren't always the good ones, perhaps.

And watch it with those hegemonies

They really don't taste nice, no matter how long you boil them

Actually, now would be a very good time for you to start signalling a bit of 'constructive dialogue' within the ranks of the Ozarks anyway: you're with Hypatia right to the end but you're your own man also - VP needs one eye on the future, know what I mean? And should you be looking for a campaign manager in four years time ... *taps side of nose meaningfully*

I'm more of a kingmaker or a usurper than a candidate. I'm happy being the sheep behind the curtain.
If I'm around come next election and Hyp's not running, I'd probably back Gnomon. Or maybe somebody new.

You could serve the common good with an important job like Chairman of the Hegemony Regulation Commission. You do want to serve your site don't you? You could also serve your site with a cushy job like ambassador to the Court of 2legs or some such.

I'm already King 2legs's Most Loyal Badger Counter - which is the sort of low-level, undemanding, 'come in when you feel like it', job I like

Actually, now it's all over, that's one of my most pressing post-election queries: who is/was 'Badger'? Why were/are there at least three of him/her? What was all the business with those pictures? Because unless it was a really skilful double-bluff, I really don't think 2legs had any idea - 'Badger' just 'turned up'

Would the new President like to launch an enquiry?

"Chairman of the Hegemony Regulation Commission" Hmmm. That is tempting It would be an independent body, yes? Idealistic at the beginning, lots of long lunches in the middle, petty corruption and a swift flight to Rio one step ahead of the tabloid journalists at the death - that sort of thing?

I don't think Badger was 2legs. The spelling mistakes were too intentional. It seemed like Badger was imitating 2legs, to some extent I reckon we ought to let sleeping badgers lie, though. Especially ones as annoying as that one.

Independent body? Sure. But its decisions must be approved by the Hypatia administration. Naturally

What other jobs are open? Well, we need an administrator for several programs. The Badger Poverty initiative. The Italic powdered wig drive. I still need a circle of cronies I can nickname 'Scooter' and force to do my bidding

Decisions approved by the administration? You are going to have an independent judiciary, aren't you? Just in case there are disputes, or revisions to the law, or constitutional matters arise *cough*impeachment*coughcough* or anything like that?

Maybe it's just me, but I can't think 'Scooter' without thinking Muppets. So, if you want to be Kermit (or worse) go ahead

Hiring cronies does sound like fun though ...

It's not easy being green.

Judiciary? Pah. Who said anything about a judiciary?
Well, maybe. You want a judgeship or something? Justice Trin Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

I have no idea how impeachment would take place. Using the US model, you'd need to have a Senate, and we ain't got one of those. We'd probably need a Constitution, too, and I think hootoo is best *without* a set of rules (other than the obvious). So probably no impeachment for Hyp The elections were spontaneous, but I don't think impeachment can be. You're stuck with her. Sorry.