The Agony and The Ecstasy of cotton swabs
While talk of pleasure is cheap and plentiful, real, tangible pleasure is far more elusive. For instance, sex is pleasurable, generally, but only when it's not being hard-to-get, too short, or too infrequent. Anchovies are a pleasure, until their fine, hair-like bones make you cough on their scratchy way down your throat. Most pleasures seem to have some sort of unhappy downside.
Cotton swabs, on the other hand, are a true, unadulterated delight. Don't be fooled by the advisory comments all about the box. True enjoyment of cotton swabs is achieved only by throwing caution to the wind and embracing the needs of your oft-ignored friend, the inner ear.
TO USE:
Part the perforations on your box of swabs. Pull out your implement of pleasure, and plunge it into your ear canal (try to take some care not to puncture your ear drum - the only downside). Try swabbing in different directions, or swirling the swab around your ear canal. If you can tear yourself away from the pure pleasure for a moment, feel the expression of utter, idiotic ecstasy on your face. You're in heaven, and heaven is only a box of cotton swabs away.
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