h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well chaps and chapettes ,

I'll be outta here for a few days as I am moving house this weekend. To keep you amused I present the following:

Selling faith by the pound.

It’s sin that sells, the Vicar said,
And hellfire and damnation.
Keeps the pews all filled up,
With a fearful congregation.

No, its guilt that sells, the Rabbi said,
And mother’s kosher nosh.
Give them one day off a week,
When they can dress up posh.

Jihad sells, the Imam said,
Don’t listen to that Rabbi.
It’s a pity about the alcohol,
So I’ll just have half a pint.

Harmony sells, the bald monk said,
And it’s the key to happiness.
The punters love the tantric sex,
Whilst wearing an orange dress.

Sex does sell, the priestess said,
If you just have the knack.
And no matter what the rede requires,
We all look good in black.

Bollywood sells, the Yogi said,
And the Kama Sutra too.
If you’d like another god,
We’re not short a few.

Freedom sells, said the medicine man,
And lots of drums and dancing.
So come smoke the pipe of peace,
And then we’ll all be trancing.

Magic sells, the wizard said,
It gives you a sense of power.
Oh I wish I lived in Crowley’s days,
With young virgins to deflower.

Leather sells, the heathen said,
And all the Viking gear.
The Chainmail undies chafe a bit,
But hey there’s lot’s of beer.

Stone circles sell, the druid said,
They’re mysterious and chunky.
But we tend to take too many herbs,
Which is why we’re all so funky.

You’ve nothing I’d buy, the atheist said,
Not clothes, nor sex nor grub.
But we all blessed him just the same,
And went off down the pub.


Blessings,
Matholwch /|\.

Nice to have a good laugh early in the morning.

Have fun moving - if this is possible.

hasta pronto!

az

Sounds very much like a lyric Giles, Giles and Fripp might've written! [GG&F are the precursors of King Crimson, an all-time favourite of mine, so comparison with them is a Great Compliment. ]

Hope the move goes OK!

Pattern-chaser

"Who cares, wins"

I hope your move is seamless and as painless as can be
I helped move a little old lady a couple of weeks ago, and

May your now home be as wonderfully filled with love as your hearts are
May you and your family prosper there in every way that it counts
May you enjoy this new leg of your journey

Brilliant Matholwch!

How did it go, Math?

Did you get time off to celebrate Festival?

I had a great evennight with Blackbird and the others on the moors... singing. But not my own stuff, LOL

Jez