h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oops...
Sorry fr'any offence. I was just trying to get folks to note ~jwf~'s frequent and legitimate reminder that we need global questions.
* wonders where he was knocking two weeks ago *
Never did like London, sorry (definitely not as as the Ross Island Dependency. Or as Halifax, Nova Scotia for that matter)
But I don't really have a problem with the French, though I thought Gerard Houllier was a bit tragic on Wednesday night.
...Ohmygawd - you're not a Liverpool fan too, are you?
Pin

No offence taken.

Well apart from being taken for a Liverpool supporter.


Seamus

"But I don't really have a problem with the French...."

However I've just visited your space and found this.


Nonetheless, the British Army is now required to carry out Alternative Duties of a Non-Iraq Nature, viz : we have decided to declare war on France.

This course has been taken for the following reasons :

- Despicable Gallic expediency over the Common Agricultural Policy is clearly a far greater threat to the future of the planet than is Saddam Hussein.
- They still owe us about a zillion quid for the Beef, and now they say they're only prepared to pay 0.001% of it, in several years' time, in a dodgy currency.
- We thought that our US Allies would like the idea, since it should get a load of pussies off of the UN Security Council, and it might lead to commercial access to hitherto protectionist territories for strategic US enterprises such as MacDonalds, the Disney Channel and the World Wrestling Federation.
- France is one of the few countries in the world with a climate compatible with our weapons.
- MI6 advises that the annihilation of the French will play well with the Mail readership, and indeed may go some way to offsetting public concern about chainsaw-wielding Kosovans rampaging through suburban gardens.
- We hate the b*****ds anyway.

Can you explain how this got there, and is this your only problem?


Seamus

"But I don't really have a problem with the French...."

However I've just visited your space and found this.


Nonetheless, the British Army is now required to carry out Alternative Duties of a Non-Iraq Nature, viz : we have decided to declare war on France.

This course has been taken for the following reasons :

- Despicable Gallic expediency over the Common Agricultural Policy is clearly a far greater threat to the future of the planet than is Saddam Hussein.
- They still owe us about a zillion quid for the Beef, and now they say they're only prepared to pay 0.001% of it, in several years' time, in a dodgy currency.
- We thought that our US Allies would like the idea, since it should get a load of pussies off of the UN Security Council, and it might lead to commercial access to hitherto protectionist territories for strategic US enterprises such as MacDonalds, the Disney Channel and the World Wrestling Federation.
- France is one of the few countries in the world with a climate compatible with our weapons.
- MI6 advises that the annihilation of the French will play well with the Mail readership, and indeed may go some way to offsetting public concern about chainsaw-wielding Kosovans rampaging through suburban gardens.
- We hate the b*****ds anyway.

Can you explain how this got there, and is this your only problem?

Goes off singing"Celery,celery"


Seamus

Oh yeah.
I forgot about that.
Can I ask for 1,458 similar offences to be taken into consideration?

Hey, wow, I'm mention-worthy!

...Not intelligent...but we knew that anyway...

Pin

Woo! Only just seen this.

Bonjour!

Waves to Pin

Seamus