h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

While understanding that what you say seems to come from a genuine and caring nature, I must say one thing!

*There are no ugly women, just neglected ones*

I must beg to differ, some people are just plain ugly! (inside and out).

Hoping not to offend you! (never piss-off a dragon)

MadHamish
(I'm just plain gorgeous,(Of course))

Yes. You are right. Some people can be just plain UGLY.
What I was meaning is that sometimes women are judged by their physical appearance alone, while their real value is in what is inside of them, and that gets ignored based upon the judgement of the shallow person who judges them to be "not good enough", based upon their interpretation of their physical beauty.
Long-winded sentence that one.
Nice to meet you, by the way
Lady Karen

Very true, even us "pretty people" can be ugly from time to time!

MadHamish
(Charmed I'm sure...)

How Many Witches. . .
Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Into what?

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

- Satchel Paige


Not female, male, nor neuter is the Self.
As is the body, so is the gender.
The Self takes on a body, with desires,
Attachments, and delusions. The Self is
Born again and again in new bodies
To work out the karma of former lives.

-Shvetashvatara Upanishad
"It is not by the amount that giving is productive of reward but rather by the generous impulse behind it. Therefore even so little as a handful of rice flour given with a pure heart becomes something that will bring great reward."

-Vimana Vatthu
http://www.redhothumor.com/funny.shtml?pics/stickup.jpg

A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, "Who's this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?" "That's your father." "Then who's that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?"
What My Dog Has Taught Me The day is divided into two important sections: Mealtime, and everything else. I. Mealtime 1. Just because there does not seem to be anything visible around to eat certainly does not mean there is nothing around to eat. The act of staring at the underside of a table or chair on which someone else is eating sets in motion a chain of events that eventually results in food. 2. It goes without saying that you should carefully check the lower third of any space for edibles. Mouth-sized things which cannot be identified by sight or smell are considered gum. 3. When you actually receive a meal, submerge your head into it as you would a shower. Never, never look up again until a minimum of at least fifteen minutes after the obvious food is gone. This is important. Just because your dish is empty does not mean that it is time to stop eating. 4. Remember that all food is potentially yours up until the time that it is actually swallowed by another. The lengthy path a piece of food will take from a plate to a mouth via a hand is as good a time as any to stake your claim to it. 5. When it comes to selecting an appropriate beverage, location and packaging mean nothing. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule. 6. If you really see something you want, and all your other attempts at getting it have failed, it is only right to grovel shamelessly. As a second tactic, stare intently at the object of your desire, allowing long gelatinous drools to leak like icicles from your lower lip. II. Everything Else 1. There are really only two important facial expressions to bother with: complete and overwhelming joy and nothing at all. 2. Any time that is not meal time is potentially nap time. The best time to take a nap is when you hear your name being called repeatedly. The best location for a nap is dead center of any floor or driveway. The most relaxing position is on your side, all four limbs parallel. 3. The most practical way to get dry is to shake violently near a fully clothed person. A second effective method is to stand on a light-colored piece of furniture. 4. Personal Safety A. At the first hint of any irregular noise, run from room to room yelling loudly. If someone actually comes into the house, rush over to them whether you know them or not. Then kiss them so violently that they lose their balance or have to force you away physically. B. The greatest unacknowledged threat to life as we have come to know it is squirrels. No matter what you must do, make sure there are none in your yard. 5. Recreation and Leisure A. Ball: There are two equally amusing sets of rules you will want to know. a. The Common Form, in which you receive a thrown ball and return it. b. The Preferred Form, in which you receive a thrown ball and eat it. B. Car: As you know, any open car door is an invitation to get in. Once inside, your only goal is to try to get out. 6. Health A. In the event of a trip to the doctor, always be on your guard. If you are vaccinated, urinate on the physician.

Wow! how bored were you?

Funny though!!

MadHamish
(Got me a HUGE headache from all that fancy readin' ya made me thunk about!!)

Me? Bored?
I couldn't have time to be bored
Too many s to take care of, as well as , etc....

I know what you mean, between the drinking and the sleeping, I can barely find enough time for anything else! Busy, busy!

MadHamish
(I drink it hard to find, when my stand won't legs up!)

You are very funny

You know you really shouldn't encourage me. it only makes me worse!

MadHamish
(Peace, Love and Mung Beans, Baby!)