h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thoughts:
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine - Ralph Wigam.

Many people hear voices when no-one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. -Margaret Chittenden, writer

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. -T.S. Eliot

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood. -Fred Thompson, US senator, lawyer, writer, and actor (1942- )

Limerick:
There was a man with a kazoo
who lived his life in a zoo
he sold his wife to a peddlar
for a dog and two types of leather.

Hiku:
Exponential
Overrated High
Hyperbolae

Puns:
The family of deer was so poor that they only had one buck

The driver of the sports car went out of control on a rainy day and crashed into a tavern. A
drunk surveying the damage shook his head and said, "When it rains, it Porsche"

If Mick Jagger became engaged to Kate Moss, would the headline read, "Rolling Stone gathers Moss?

Q: What did the Earth say after the earthquake?
A: "Sorry, my fault!"

Anagrams:
George W Bush = BOWSE HUGGER
Jhon Howard = WAR HOD JOHN
Leader of the free world = FEDERATE FRODO WHELLER - I knew he was after the ring all along!
European Union = EUROPEAN IN UNO
A tame animal = A MENTAL AIM, A MATE MILAN, ANIMAL MATE,
I like rice = ICIER KIEL

Ok I am done for now

I like rice.

I think darakat had better copyright that one before it's too late.

nah its to hard, costs $500 and thats money I don' have.

Muahaha, it's mine.