h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Alfred the aggravated agnostic armadillo
he sat on a log
eating some ants
knowing to well that this state of affairs would not last
he had an ich in his pants
he sat on the log
eating more ants until they aggravated him enough
for him to make a agnostic prose

"Oh ants be away
I feel so astray
no knowing anything all day
I do not know what I know
where I am
who I have been
or how it is to be seen.

I cannot find out with you
itching my snout
I like the taste
but you do bite hard.

You make me so mad
siting there doing nothing but
collect your muck
Making do with what you got.

I know I cannot know what it is that makes it so
but I really wish I did know,
what makes you go?

Oh ants be away
I feel so astray
Oh ants be away
I feel so astray
no knowing anything all day
I do not know what I know
where I am
who I have been
or how it is to be seen.

I know I cannot know what it is that makes it so
but I really wish I did know,
what makes you go?"

Alfred the aggravated agnostic armadillo
he sat on a log
eating some ants
knowing to well that this state of affairs would not last
he had an ich in his pants
he sat on the log, pondering about a frog,

He asked the frog
who had just also sat on a log
about what he though of the hole matter

"Oh frog I see, can it be that you can understand me?"

The frog replied:

"Yes oh Armadillo my friend I know your there, what is it that you wish to ask?"

Alfred replied:

"Oh frog I see, I ask of the, what is it that you believe?"

The frog pontificated:

"Ah. I see. You ask of me what I believe? Well I see, yes? Well that is what happens to my eyes and ears so I know what is happening in the world outside my head. Anything else is surmise and hearsay."

Alfred was readily repute about what this was asked, so he asked:

"Oh frog, I ask, how do you know your eyes do show, what is before the is true?"

The frog caught a fly with its tung:

"I do not, but I know that I cannot know what is to be know if it is knowable, so therefore I do not, I understand what is not there can be seen, but what is may not be, so what is one to do but believe what one sees and hope it is correct, if it is not you just live a lie anyway, so why should I care?"

It was at this point that Alfred realized that there was another form of agnostic top the one he had hitherto known, the sort that didn't care whether it was all "real" or a "lie" or a "god" or a "frog" or a "fly in a soup" or anything at all. It was all there as plain as you could see the world is mine for you to be.

awww...thats really very cute. i like it.

Thankyou. Sorry for the yes lyric last line though, i couldn't help myself.

you are forgiven.

Thankyou.

my generosity astounds me.

it would.

of course.

It will be said that it is good

have i mentioned that i have a female turtle named alfred?

Nope.

i do.

ok then.

guess so.

unless you have anything costructive to say you should probebly stop replying.

i could say the same to you

Are but will you?

unless you have something constructive to say, you probably should stop replying.