The Ultimate Question: REVISED
Wouldn't you like to know what it is?
Experts have been working on being the first to discover this for years. Like, millions of years. That's a really long time, if you think about it. I mean, I thought waiting for my microwaved popcorn to finish cooking was eternity, but MAN, can you imagine what these people feel like? Millions of years is a LONG time. REALLY long. You just won't believe how amazingly, superbly, supremely, royally, unblelievably long it is. Have you ever tried to actually count to a million? It's a lot. First you have to get through the ones, then the tens, the hundreds, the thousands, the ten thousands, the hundred thousands, THEN you get to the millions. Right? But the problem is you'd have to do that at least ten times, probably about eleven. And that's not to mention how long it actually took them to come up with the answer in the first place. So, I mean, when you try counting to a million 18 times, do you know where it gets you?
The answer is this: it gets you absolutely nowhere. Really. Positively nowhere. I've checked. I mean, scientific evidence has PROVEN that counting to 18 million does no one anywhere any good at all, so don't actually try counting to 18 million or all you'll end up doing is having a phenomenally boring time, and you'll probably lose count at least twice.
The trouble with these people is they're always thinking "What's six times seven?" is too obvious. Quite personally I agree, which is why I have come up with The Ultimate Question: REVISED.
You'd be surprised what a short time it took me, but often scientists overlook the obvious.
Before I go on to tell you what I truly believe the Ultimate Question is, I must ask you to make sure you have completely microwaved your popcorn but not burnt it, as I have just done. The best popcorn for this occasion is that apple cinnamon popcorn; regular popcorn will do just fine, if that's all you have. Make sure you're not drinking anything sticky, either, because more than likely you'll spit it out when you see the simplicity of my discovery, and I know from personal experience that one of the least fun things in the Universe is to be confronted with a keyboard where all the keys are stuck together when you've finally discovered the meaning to Life, the Universe, and Everything, and then tragically cannot tell anybody about what an amazing thing you've just learned.
At this point in time you should be correctly positioned by sitting on the edge of your seat, Your mouth should be hanging open properly, so that if I was to make this waiting last much longer, you would most likely start overproducing saliva and drooling on yourself. The only exception to this is if you are vehemently shouting, "Tell me the answer already, you ------!" as opposed to vehemently thinking the aforementioned strongly in the VERY LEAST. Also, you should be shivering with suspense.
Are you sitting properly on the edge of your seat? Check to make sure. "The Edge of Your Seat" official definition is: to be sitting so far on the edge of your chair that if you were to move forward any more than you already were seated that you would fall off. The last point on your seat where you are in a sitting position. If you happen to be sitting on the floor, hurry up and find a chair or a bench or a stool or something. Also you must be shaking with suspense. Are you? Make sure. Are you SURE? Okay, if you insist...
The Ultimate Question is this:
What's two times four, minus 38 divided by two, times negative two, divided by 11 times four, times 84?
{[(2x4)-(38/2)]x(-2)}/(11x4)x84=42
I swear it comes out to 42. Really. I promise. I have a really nice calculator, I should know.
It's brilliant, isn't it?
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Altoidia Snicket
Researcher U199008
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