h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

..were what I bought for *myself* this evening Take that to mean what you will .

Ode to White Trash Shopping-
I hate the grocery store I shop at.
Aisles so full
of sh*t.
The sh*t..
it is everywhere.
In this labyrinth, I crawl
for the Bisquick
I turn and duck
and reach for the poor people cereal
I think to myself
"I hate this f*cking store"
But it is after the stroke of midnight
that
I
may venture out to shop.
Venturing out
with the drunks,
the tweakers.
One white trash mommy
in a sea of filthy orange decor
and boxes.
Short bus checker
throws my items down the counter
with quasi-efficiency.
I swipe my state benefits card
I smile with the appropriate self-effacement
He leaves somewhere, leaving me
bagging the f*cking groceries.
I ponder civil disobediance,
I ponder the many evil uses
of recyclable plastic bags.
I could..
bag the credit card machine
I could..
bag the lights illuminating the overly conspicuous
American Flag
outside.
I could..
put the cart away backwards.

I've got nothin.
I thought I was a better miscreant than this
I want to impress my love
with works of morbid genius.
But it is 1:15 AM
and I've got nothin,
except a cherry coke
sweet pickles
radishes
and thoughts like honey
of the Love of my Life
as my car squeeks home, and I
try not to get pulled over.

Thank you, thank you..no really..

I bought myself bread, ham and chicken tikka sauce on my trip to the shopping centre yesterday. Its about as white trash as you can get, its in the middle of a council estate. Hoards of old women and men who live on the benchs chain-smoking (how they got this old I do not know?), kids giving the security abuse, etc, etc.

But I cant write a poem about it!!!

Oh come on, now. Anyone can write sh*t! Right Saturnine?

lol i can