h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Peanut Smuggler

Does she smuggle peanuts the same way I do? By that I mean, hidden away in her cleavage?

Nearly there. It's a matter of silky blouses and chilly weather.

Scania wheelnuts?

Ah! She had her brights on. I hate that. "Turkey's done!"

"If you're selling those puppies, I'd like the one with the pink nose."

I have never heard that one before. But I like it.

For said woman, 'Peanut Smuggler' (aka 'KP') seems apt because she's rather petite.

For others, it could be walnuts.

*Inserts Strict English Dickensian Aunt voice*

I imagine you are referring to chestnuts.

tsk, tsk, tsk.

zdt

I'm not to blame, this time, for the topic veering into the land of nuts and nipples.

You can't beat warm nuts this time of year.

Does your car have heated seats?

That's one of things I miss most about my old Volvo. Heated seats in wintertime. Aaaaah.

Hah! As soon as I saw the sentence about heated seats, I remembered the Volvo I once had as a hire car for work. Leather seats an' aw. I fantasised about driving trouserless.

Yup - you can't beat the feel of a a smooth, warm vulva...er...Volvo.

I never drove without any pants, but I really did like having nice toasted buns. Especially during January and February, which in Chicago often means sub-zero temperatures. Cold leather ain't comfy.

I miss that car so much sometimes. Mostly for its fuel economy, but also because it was sweet. I bought it in '92 from a little old lady... it was six years old at the time and had a little under 1,000 miles on it. Still smelled new.

That *is* a little old lady.

One week to go before Xmas break and I get a cold.

>>Still smelled new.

The old lady?

Ah - the car.

Yes, the car. I never actually met the old lady. But it was a good buy- little old ladies rarely beat the hell out of their cars.

Just had a mental image of a little old lady giving her car a good thrashing, Basil Fawlty style.

I suppiose that if the old lady had been less than fragrant, neither would the leather seats have been.

Quite possibly not. Upholstered seats are worse.

Which reminds me of something else horrifying. Isn't it gross when you're riding on public transport, and someone gets up so you take the empty seat, and when you sit down, find it's warm and damp.

Sorry to hear about your motor sitch Ed.

Jan's sent me home. I'm dying. I'm tucking into a bottle of red and watching Sunshine, which I got yesterday. Tis good.