h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Time for me to go off on one!

I'll start off by reiterating- as much for my own sake as for informational purposes- that I like my job, the company I work for, and in particular my boss and department. The work isn't exactly exciting, but it's predictable, it's the same things at the same times, all the time, and there are very few surprises. That's just the way I like it. My boss is a fair man, and a pretty nice guy all around. He doesn't micro-manage, either- as long as the work gets done without any attendance or behavioral issues, one's wherabouts or activities are never in question. Unlike some supervisors who dictate if and when their reports can take bathroom breaks. .

Anyway...

One thing that drives me nuts about my workplace is that certain Powers That Be have a really unreasonable fixation on what they call "teamwork building" and "morale building" activities. I'm employed at our corporate office, with about 75 other employees at various levels from managing partners/senior executives down to loan underwriters, accounts payable associates, etc. I'm not a supervisor, but no one other than my direct boss (the CFO) supervises me. I would like to believe that my value to the company is based on my work ethic- which is pretty good, if you ask me- and performance. But the amount of pressure to participate in company-sponsored events, typically well outside of my working hours, is overwhelming.

Many of these events are sport related. I have NO interest in sports, and have no desire to participate in a marathon, either as a runner or a spectator. Especially not one that donates the proceeds to organizations that engage in vivisection or to anti-choice (in regards to women's health care) groups. Nor do I want to spend an evening watching a softball game, playing paintball, bowling, or anything else. Were some of these activities held during working hours, I would at least consider coming along to watch until my normal leaving time. But most of these activities occur late in the evening, close to the time I'd be crashing for the night.

My boss's "come in late tomorrow" isn't, IMO, a real solution, either. I work a flex schedule for a reason- my significant other works an early AM shift. I want to spend my evenings at home, with my family.

Mention that the reason you don't wish to participate in evening activities is because you wish to spend quality time with your family, and someone invariably comments that you don't *have* a family, because you're not "married" in the narrowly legal/irrelevantly ecclesiastical sense and you've opted not to procreate. As if there's no other worthwhile arrangement.

Fortunately, at least I have asthma so I can beg off the outdoor stuff during summer- I just can't breathe and if it came down to it, I know I could get my GP to certify that I should avoid that kind of exposure, if I explained how uncomfortable it makes me. Not that I think it's fair that I should feel so pressured as to feel that I need my doctor to excuse me rather than opt out on my own.

At some company-sponsored outings, people have apparently gotten so drunk they cannot walk without assistance. Not only am I not interested in going out and getting drunk, I have no desire to see and get no enjoyment out of watching other do the same. As company employees, we represent our company at company-sponsored outings, and as such, I think company policies pertaining to alcohol use should apply. A glass of wine at a anniversary or holiday lunch, fine. Drinks with dinner (or lunch) at the holiday party, fine. Sucking down beers at the ball park for four hours? At the company's expense? While otherwise trying to "optimize/minimize office expenses"? Really?

Pressuring employees to donate time and/or money to charities which violate their personal ethics, while making them feel that giving freely of their free time to other organizations rather than attending outings is a result of a bad attitude toward giving?

What would be so wrong with having the office holiday party at lunchtime on a Thursday or Friday afternoon, through the end of the day, and people can leave as needed to get home to their families. Why must it be a formal event, very late on a weekday evening, with pressure for me to come *without* my significant other, or for us both to use a vacation day the next day, when I'd rather use my personal days to my own ends?

Why is it supposed to be irrelevant that I have other activities and responsibilities outside of work, things like K's band activities, Food Not Bombs and similar things, or even wanting to be at home cleaning and watching DVDs and playing video games? Do people really work in order to make social contacts, rather than to make a living to support the activities and lifestyle one really enjoys? How is putting so much pressure on someone, or depriving them of time with their loved ones, to the point of being demoralizing, seen as "morale building"?

Note: I do enjoy these quarterly luncheons we have where our CEO (and sometimes the President of our Sales/Finance Division) does a sort of "state of the union" type thing, and opens up dialog where everyone can ask questions or make comments about various aspects of company operations. Those definitely are a Good Thing, as it's nice to know where the company is headed and how one's contributions are affecting the big picture.

But is watching baseball, watching people get drunk, etc, really that much more important than work ethic and productivity?

Rant over. Not really expecting any comments, more getting stuff off my chest, but I figured anyone with a job would be able to help me get some perspective on how to avoid these activities without alienating any sense of comraderie. Because I'm *not* about to start spending my personal free time hanging out with co-workers (in hot, humid weather especially) when I'd rather be home with my family.

I'd rather be in Sweden.

Exactly! There's always someone who'd love to travel for work. I can appreciate that. So... let those who wish to do some work in Sweden go to Sweden to do it, by all means don't prevent them the opportunity! And let those who wish to stay home with their families do that.

Everyone has different priorities. As long as one is giving one's work high priority while working- and one's output/workload demonstrates that- why not let those who enjoy working trips to Sweden go to Sweden, those who enjoy playing softball organize softball games, and those who enjoy plowing through their work and then going home at the end of the day, do that?

I completely agree PC - in fact to my mind it is even simpler - I shouldn't have to give reasons. If I say I ain't coming in my time then that should be sufficient for them.

I also see it as a two-fold insult to me as an individual.
On the one hand they seem to be saying that they don't believe I will work hard and do my best for the company/job I am being paid for without some other enhancing factor. To me it is a fact of personal integrity that I do my best. I'm doing it because you are paying me to do it and giving less than that would make me unhappy with my own performance. I realise not everyone thinks like that and that I am lucky in that I find most of my job quite engrossing and personally challenging. Ask me to write documents all day and I might feel somewhat different!

Secondly there seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding of the concept of 'team' by certain personality types. These events reflect that. They are not designed to improve team bonding. They are designed to try and compress all individuals into one form, that you must like what they like and do what they do to be considered 'on side'. This is cobblers. The most effective teams are made up of individuals with different skills and interests which complement each other. A team of clones can be very strong in one single area but is fatally flawed in most others and will fail as soon as a challenge occurs which is outside that single focus. It speaks to me of personalities which seek to control and dictate rather than manage and nurture their teams.

Yes!

I am especially grateful that someone understands that I don't feel a need to have a carrot dangled before me on a stick to make me perform my best. For me as well, giving less than the best I can is reward in itself. I don't tend to do half-assed work even if I don't feel like doing the task at hand.

There are some activities in which I enjoy participating. Every few months we have a pot luck. It used to be just my department, but has since opened up to the entire office. I always enjoy cooking something for the pot luck even though I have to drag whatever I've made in on the train. If we had them more often I would still participate. But as far as I can tell, when we have pot lucks, or the monthly birthday cake, etc, many people get *less* work done on those days, anyway. So it can hardly be all about the productivity enhancement, can it?

One example of something my company does that *is* good for individuals, and allows them time with their families, is that we are typically dismissed early the day before a holiday or the Friday before a long holiday weekend. Because early dismissal time is near my normal leaving time, my own boss even lets me leave earlier. That's a nice thing!

I totally don't mind if they want to have a sponsored event, during working hours, and if I opt out, I'm expected to remain at the office working till my regular leaving time. Not a problem!

Ictoan, you have described precisely my feelings in regards to "teams" and "our side" and mistrust of individuality. It makes me think of the Goliath Books bookshop "team" in the TV show Black Books. I feel like poor Manny, being asked to shave off his beard and hair and to wear loafers instead of Birkenstocks.

" For me as well, giving less than the best I can is reward in itself."

That wasn't actually a Freudian slip of epic proportions. I'd started the sentence one way and finished it in the other. D'oh!

Giving less than the best I can isn't acceptable to me; doing the best I can (even if not perfect) is reward in itself.

Not that I mind the paychecks.

(Incidentally, Ictoan, the next time I'm asked to complete an event-related survey or give my input, I may quote you. You put it so much better than I've ever managed to do!)

>> A team of clones can be very strong in one single area but is fatally flawed in most others and will fail as soon as a challenge occurs which is outside that single focus.<<

Which is why you need clerics and thieves as well as fighters in any good rpg group They can't all be High Elves...

(Though I must admit I do find it positive that they seem to be doing events encouraging people to do sports, rather than just events centred around food and sitting around Many people just wouldn't get motivated otherwise.)

I knew I could count on Mala to put it into terms I could understand so much better than corporate lackey speak.

Thank you all for your input so far (I've also gotten some offline). Honestly, I just think I need to be less nervous and more assertive about my own time and personal space.

I said this to someone else a little while ago, and I'll repeat it here: if/when it comes to a point where I feel (or know beyond a doubt) that potential career progression is being hampered only by lack of participation in non-work activities, it might be time for my career to progress in another direction entirely.

Some events are sitting around eating/drinking, but most are sports or highly physical actitivities. Very positive, for those who wish to participate or who can cope with such very physical activity. That some of us are, for whatever reason, in no shape for a marathon, isn't necessarily indicative of poor lifestyle choices, laziness, etc.

There are some among the more athletic group who hint not-too-subtly that this is the case. But I don't let *that* bother me, actually. It's the feeling obligated to participate or potentially jeapordize my job that annoys me- and while I'm well aware it may be in my head, it's the constant harping on it that gets to me. We're talking a half dozen emails a day sometimes...

There are always people who can't participate in physical activity, and it's perfectly ok to say so. I'm hardly in marathon shape myself They do seem to be lacking entirely in cultural activities, though. You could try organising a movie night, I bet you have some interesting videos to shake up their little preconceptions

Half a dozen e-mails per day is definitely too much! Sounds like someone in management is desperate to make friends. Which isn't how you lead people.

(It was worse at my mother's former job, where it turned out being promoted after a certain point was highly unlikely if you didn't join the manager's church...)

Oh, they planned something once where we could bring in movies... and they wouldn't allow any foreign language/ subtitled films, or anything with higher than a PG-13 rating, unrated films, or anything "inappropriate".

A trip to a museum would be cool, during office hours, but those with the authority to approve funding for such things tend to prefer outdoor activities in what a certain number of people feel is the nicest weather.

I'll try suggesting it again, though. Can't hurt to try. Too bad I didn't post this before submitting my survey yesterday- I have a lot more comments.

Oh, of course, nothing that might give you dangerous foreign ideas. But senseless violence is ok, right?

exactly right on the RPG analogy Mala - see all those 'anti-social' geek types actually have a far better understanding of what makes a good team than the Jocks

"potential career progression is being hampered only by lack of participation in non-work activities, it might be time for my career to progress in another direction entirely."

That of course is another consequence. It seems to me utterly shortsighted and foolish to ignore the fact that your 'team bonding' rituals can drive away productive and effective team members because they are into different social activities than you. Or different life values.

Some people, though, have the type of semi-autistic mindset that they are unable to conceive of the idea that some people might think differently to them.

For example - many of my colleagues play golf...nuff said. I'm sure they find golf extremely rewarding and fulfilling and can't imagine why anyone would want to spend their time in any other way.

I've submitted a (lengthy) feedback form to the person who organizes most of our events at the office. Thanks especially to Ictoan- you helped me put it into the right words.

just don't blame me if you get labelled a trouble maker!

but glad to be of help!

Honeslty, half the help is in the listening, sympathising, and commisserating.

I don't think I'll be labeled any more of a trouble maker than I already have been, fortunately. This person wouldn't be asking for feedback, though, if she didn't want it. It's just too bad for me I was hasty when I submitted my survey yesterday while it was still anonymous, but since the topic has come up before she'll already know I'm not usually keen on these activities- now she'll know why.

I did suggest an occasional "field trip" to a museum or something. I like that idea, and if it were during working hours, I'd be there with bells on.

I got into trouble in my last job over something like this. There was this big social event and I was under quite a lot of pressure to attend, from various people.

I don't like to lie so when I was asked at first I just said something like I didn't fancy it - I didn't claim to have plans or anything (though in hindsight, I should have) - but in the end the big boss confronted me and demanded to know what I was doing and why I couldn't come.

Me: "I don't like most of my colleagues and I don't want to spend my personal time with people I dislike. I'd much rather veg out with pizza, wine and Buffy DVDs. Don't ask me again."

In my defense, I'd had a really bad day and I was sick of a fortnight's constant pestering.