h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello, there. I'm an A. C. E., but that is irrelevant for the moment. I was reading through some of your conversations and I noticed that you appear a little angry. If this is not the case, please, do say so. But, if I'm right, I know that you need to vent your spleen on some one. I'd just liek to say that I've got an open ear and I shan't be judgmental. So, go right ahead and tell me why you're so upset. I myself have a whole lot to be upset about and I'd be more than happy to give you some tips on how to try to get over it. Ok. That's all I wanted to say.

I think I've made a bit of a stir. One of the guys posted saying he was all ears - I was going to post some remark as my normal persona, about what would Mike Tyson say if he could see this - being an eater of ears!!

I thought it would be more of a laugh to post AS Mike Tyson. Unfortunately I don't think many - if any got the joke. So, sorry to have caused any trouble



MT.

Hey, that's no problem. This place, though, is a very nice and friendly place. Lot's of people do not take well to those who like to bite other's people's ears off. So, just a word of advise, be nice and friendly. You don;t have to follow it but you might get in trouble with the Towers (as they call them (the administrtion)). Ok. That's all.

But now, on a lightr note, are you enjoying your time hear?

I didn't mind having my ears bitten off, honest...

There ya go! You're already liked! (If you'd like them back, I'm a Q so I can give them to you.)

Pardon?

Erm, basically, I have the ability to control space, time, all forms of energy and every thing in between. So, I can make you some ears. Right....

As in Q from Star Trek.



MT.

Exactly.

Can you fix things for me so it looks to my employers that I'm working all the hours possible, while actually spending all my time with my GF - that would be , think of the money I'd have to spend!!



MT.

Erm, no. But only for the simple reason that it is against the law and I try not to go against the law. Also, I try not to do too much Q-ing round because it could alter the time line ang God forbid it does that.

How about teaching me how to do a two hour drive in no time at all....



MT.

That goes against the rules of physics. What I do does na.

But, you can dramatically reduse the time spent by either taking a worm-hole or going as close as possible to the speed of light.

Ok, I'll try both and let you know how I get on.



MT.

Most excellent.

Just got all muddy trying the worm-hole, will attempt light speed thing later.

Yes. THey are peculiar. THough they are used by every species inthe universe (oops, did I say that, I mean they might be others...) they seem to take the standard worm-hole of earth....