h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... you need to check out the recommendations for doing stuff in GuideML -- it's a kind of localized HTML -- and then, if you want, you can post links in your introduction (like I did, to Mag'Zone). There are quite a few on-site graphics that you can use to brighten up your space -- it's a good idea to visit the "personal spaces" of other researchers here. And dive into the public areas -- there are a coupla cute cafe-chat spaces. I haven't been here for awhile, so I don't know if there's any live chat, but the boards function like live-chat, except a little slower.

Yeah... I was checking out that guide stuff but the disclaimer says no uploads and no offsite links on accounta 'copyright issues' so I guess that's that.

Anyways... thx for clueing me in...

-- you can't post links in conversations (like this is a conversation) But you CAN post links in your "introduction" -- the thing you write on the front page. I've posted a link to Mag'Zone on my frontpage and it's still active (I just tried it) -- which it wouldn't be if it weren't allowed. I remember posting a link to Mag'Zone in a conversation once by mistake and it was instantly shot down by their watchdogs.

You should visit the some of the other researchers' pages. There's some amazing stuff here. You may find there are other people with histories parallel to yours. If I were you, I'd do a guide entry on being a table-dancer -- that is, tips on being a TD. They don't look for straight autobiography but something along the lines of: Everything Everyone Needs To Know About Table Dancing, written impersonally, lucidly and entertainingly -- there IS a company style, but it's not hard to follow especially not for you! They'd ADORE an entry on table dancing, I bet. Check out their entries on Sex and intimate behavior. Believe me Lil, this is one place where you may find it hard to keep up with the response.

That's sounds like a way cool idea actually except maybe I'm gonna see what's going on first because this place is confusing enough right now and I'm even having problems getting through the weekly topic because it's like somebody's doctoral thesis abstract or something but I guess I'll get used to it and the 'company style'.

But your tips are really helpful and appreciated. I'm just not ready yet to use them so much or even understand exactly what you're saying I think but I'll get it... I think...

It's a good idea to respond to the researcher who sent you a welcome greeting -- one of the various Aces whose job it is to say "helloooo, newbie!" You can ask them any kind of question and they will be very helpful. It's also worth just diving in and responding to the stuff you read -- every time you leave a message somewhere, the thread will register on your own page, so you don't have to go looking for it to see if you get a response.

Not all the entries are like PhD theses -- and most are very readable.

So -- good luck! Magnlia

Hi all!

I'd say A673508 'Farts and Flatulence' which was on the frontpage recently wouldn't qualify as a thesis paper http://www.h2g2.com/h2g2/skins/Alabaster/images/Smilies/f_laugh.gif" /> .

And -- we can post links in conversations too! There's some working behind the scenes which even converts any http:... thing into a clickable link, no matter if it makes sense or not. Mind you, the moderators are *everywhere* and may take out links which are against the rules.

I noticed that about the moderators I think except they don't just say... 'hey I'm a moderator... and you're under arrest... ' so it's hard to tell ya know?

Don't worry, they'll have you know when they used their claws: you'll receive an eMail with an explanation, plus the posting gets 'hidden, because ...'.

Hmmm... maybe these were just fauxmoderators then. Which brings up the question who's moderating the moderators? Like who gives them their badges and what do ya say to them when they say... 'Badges?!!! We don't need no stinking badges!!!'

no, no - that's what they really do: hide the posting and (most of the time) send an eMail. You can see a couple of examples here: F36649?thread=95200 (reason: foreign language, which was banned after the BBC takeover and yet needs to be re-installed).

And you won't ever see one in person: AFAIK they *do* have U-numbers but their pages are empty - at least to *our* eyes. And being invisible, they don't need to have badges

Ok... so the ones I thought were moderators were actually just plain folks like us acting 'dignified' maybe?

Now is it just me or do people act inordinately british around here?

Like the thing on the Drag Queens has all kinds of brit jargon in it that a person from Alpha centuri might have a hard time understanding unless they had been previously colonized by the British Raj, which I wasn't thank God, at least not officially although unofficially the ones who did the colonizing were a people separated from the British by a common tongue among other things, or so said some clever person once upon a time.

And I notice too the same sort of thing in the discussions. So does that mean I got to take english as a foreign language to get what's going on around here? Or do they realize that something else is going on in the world worth knowing about?

The reason I'm asking is because you mentioned that something was moderated because it wasn't written in english and so then I wonder who's english we have to write to get noticed or whatever. And maybe it's not a problem for you because you probably learned the 'correct english' being closer to the White Cliffs of Dover than me who grew up around the Red Cliffs of Mesa Verde in the occupied Darkest 4 Corners, USA.

And being colonized, I've got at least 3 or 4 native languages I've got to deal with, only one or two of which are actually mine and I can't write them because they aren't written ok? Because the english alphabet has a problem with languages that don't sound english.

I guess being owned by the BBC has it's limitations but I think usually they're pretty balanced in their news coverage so it seemed a little strange to get something so brit as an example of how I ought to write a guide thang. Or is that person just another plain folk like us giving helpful advice?

And I certainly don't want to offend that person by blowing off anything ok? On the otherhand I don't want to have to redo my thang over and over if I'm not even talking to the editors.

Anyways, as you can probably see, I'm like totally confused now about who I'm talking to, who I should be listening to or who I should just say 'yeah ok' politely and then do my own thang or take it for what it's worth to me if I know what it's worth... which I probably don't but oh well...

The moderators won't take out US english. Full stop. That's not a *foreign* language in the sense of the rules.

Zei ihven kän ried mai Denglish änd lett it pass zruh


*All* of us are just these guys! Scouts, ACEs, SubEds, Gurus -- all of them are just researchers who volunteered to take up one job or another. This includes your humble co-researcher Bossel.

Notably exception: the *Italics*. Called like that because their names appear in boldfaced italic fonts when they write to a conversation. Their U-numbers used to be below 255 (U255 is Sam, U13 is Mark Moxon who's the real Boss around here) but recently they changed some background feature which can make them switch any U-number to Italic. They are the only people who get *paid* because they are BBC staff (since the takeover, that is). The Italics are also known as the TPTB = The Powers That Be, or the 'Towers' (an allusion to the Hitchhiker books). But as I said: you may treat them like just these guys as well. *Perhaps* with a little respect, though

Oh, wait, there's a whole lot more site-specific jargon: A632431

Back to authorities: apart from the Italics, there's *no* authority around. Anybody's suggestion in Peer Review is just this: a suggestion on improving *your* entry. You can take them or leave them, at your very own discretion. The only remark to that is: it would be polite to give reason if you choose to drop a suggestion.

If you'd like to get some insight about the inner workings of Peer Review, there's 'Bossel's Handy Peer Review Hints' section towards the bottom here: A695649

Somewhere in the Guidelines it says that the Guide uses British English! Thus, suggestions as to spelling and US structures *have* foundation. I'm afraid you'd have to live with that foreign language.

Oh, BTW, makes me wonder to see a US citizen complaining that other people don't look beyond their borders Usually it's the Americans who are attributed with being unable to realise the world around them...

Hey thanks Boss... that's starting clear the fog in my head a little. Btw... I'm not American because I don't recognize the government which doesn't actually resemble what they described in school. If you know anything about La Cosa Nostra then you probably already have a handle on what the government actually resembles.

Just think of me as a member of an occupied dependent nation and then maybe you'll understand what's up ok? And then cry freedom or something because our Nelson Mandela is still in jail.

Anyways... it's a very strange new world here to me and I appreciate you taking the time to interpret it for me.

Oh, you must be talking about the German government! The previous (right-wing) government had a big crisis centering around illegal fund-raising and Swiss bank accounts. This broke their neck.

The current (left-wing) government is undergoing something very similar. Their local structures in Cologne and Wuppertal had to admit they accepted donations in context with making decisions (that's not to say that a direct connection was proven, but this is the question under scrutiny now).

This autumn (that's 'fall' for you, I guess), there'l be elections again


Always a pleasure to help someone new to get to grips with h2g2

Yeah that's the government, aka Globalized Conglomerated Multinational Our Thing, better living through extortion, pharmiceuticals aka hard drugs, graft and corruption, not necessarily in that order.

I was talking to a formerly good citizen of the former GDR recently and he intimated that the farmers are getting a little miffed at the movers and shakers aka speculators coming in from the not so former capitalist regime and buying up all the land.

So I suggested that maybe all us Reds, both communist and communal family oriented types, should recognize a common cause in providing for land reform and redistribution that doesn't necessarily follow along such speculative lines but he didn't get it I guess. Which makes me think some people just like the idea of speculation casino style even when they know they're going to lose because the house always wins in the end. They assume I think that in the meantime some crumbs might fall off the table for the benefit of the peasants and the rats.

Greed is a terrible thing to waste.