h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Take a risk in life ..substitutions are fun

I used to have to do an online Asda shop for a client. I'd do it on a Wednesday, then every Friday he'd ring up and complain.

Oooh, didn't Craig David sing a song about that.

I rang Asda on a Wednesday, Got delivered on a Friday, all my perishables had turned to mush by Saturday

Must have been the good stuff from Quality Street then

The pears say mush, selecta!

Craig's down wiv da Az homies.

i said no substitutes this week n still bloody got them!

I'll be your substitute, whenever you want me...or not

..and i'm still cross today..i lovebeing hormonal

You do? I've never been hormonal (well, hardly ever), and I don't intend to change that.

Pfft! Who needs hormones to be cross?

I've been in a bad mood since 1981.

and I can confirm that.

I left my parents' home in 1981, was in a very good mood then

Oh very funny, ha ha ha.

Maybe that's why I got in such a bad mood, I couldn't leave home, too young see

Ha, but you could leave home when you were old enough. Can only have been shortly after 1981

I was 4 in 1981

and I may not need pmt hormones but they make a damn good excuse

I was -8 in 1981. I feel young now.

*wee*

*cabbage*



I'll just hobble away on my zimmerframe now, I think

youre not quite ready for wee n cabbage yet

Oh I wouldn't be too sure about that

I would..unless she senyt a younger actress to meet us for lunch of course