h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have just heard the most unbelievable confession from a friend of mine:

He was recently web-surfing with his girlfriend when they came across a website advertising a plaster-of-paris kit where you could make a mould of your own - ahem - member, and turn it into a - ahem - plaything for the girl of your desires.

"Ooh - that looks like fun." says the girlfriend. "I think you should buy one"

So he did! Without telling her, he bought it, made the dildo and was going to give it to her for her birthday next week.

Unfortunately, she dumped him first.

So now he is stuck with, in his own words, "a life-size model of my own genitalia" and can't work out what to do with it.

A novelty door-knocker was my best suggestion. Any more?

B

I bought one of them for the ex missus, as far as I know she might still have it...

Now thats a scary thought.

A gift for the next girlfriend. Or is that too sensible?

Coat hook then?

Bob, are you really content with the thought that your ex has a copy of your todger lying around?

I bet she's stabbing it with pins as we speak.

B

Do you know if the kits come in an extra large size?

A novelty loo flush handle

I reckon he should put a tube up the centre and make an unusual water feature for the garden / front room.

I hadnt really thought of it so far to be honest... I wonder if her new bloke was impressed or intimidated, if he saw it...

Hmmm, dodgy, Oh well, if it was small Id be worried people would find out, as it is I dont really care if people see a plaster of paris vibrating replica of my nob...

GD - one size fits all, apparently.

Ah, nice one Jonathan - you mean the old-fashioned chain ones?

B

MB got to be chain or the light pull

another interestin

I think he should keep it for future reference. That way, as the years pass and things begin to shrivel he can proudly point to the replica and say "That mighty oak is where this acorn sprouteed from."

Light pull sounds good to me - then you wouldn't know what you'd got in your hand until the last minute.

B

A nice wood reference, there, MoG

B

how about a shoe horn!! (pardon the pun)

an attractive center piece for the dining table

Upright or horizontal?

B

novelty gear stick knob?

You could put it away in a safe place for later use, just in case something untoward happens to the original