h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can't help but think I should record this as it was rather memorable.

I bought a theremin, made from a Marmite jar, on eBay.

('What's a theremin?' the investigator asked. 'Are you familiar with the track 'Good Vibrations', by the Beach Boys? It's the bit that goes oooOOOOOoooooOOOOoooo').

On Wednesday it got intercepted by Gateshead CID (who were naturally quite concerned about unearthing a parcel containing a Marmite jar with a switch, full of wires and a circuit board) and was taken apart by an army bomb disposal squad. It was looking a bit touch-and-go for a while. At one stage the anti-terrorist squad were going to come round and look at all my emails. That would have been interesting for them, I'm sure.

I felt very very scared. Then very silly.

But thankfully it's all sorted now, which I'm glad about as my whole life was started to look pretty dodgy (though I was looking forward to appearing in court with Brian Wilson as the first expert witness). I felt particular regret about my recent decision to start flying lessons.

The poor bloke making them had his house under surveillance and has now been banned from making theremins. All very sad. I only wanted to rock 'n' roll...

[She might make light of it, but the faces on everyone in the office as this drama unfolded were a sight to see. Going from mild confusion to shock to distress to hysteria to a vague sense of panic as Natalie revealed more and more details.]

And yes... those flying lessons don't seem such a bright idea now, eh?

Considering how much of a wow you are with a swannee whistle, I cannot wait to hear what this melodramatic theremin produces.

the theremin is the first electronic musical instrument. some say the first sythesizer. it is from rusia.

Whoa. All that trouble over a humble theremin. Clearly, your intention to obtain one displays your terrorist tendacies.

Does this mean theremins are now banned devices? Is it possible to charge the police with wasting their own time? Would you still be able to buy a theremin from somewhere else?

I'm half bemused, and half outraged by this. It's sad that this country has come to this.


Geggs

It is indeed very sad - especially since the theremin arrived not one hour ago and is a thing of wonder and a joy forever.

OooooOOOOOooooOOOOoooo

So the bomb disposal squad put it back together again? That's very nice of them.


Geggs

They did indeed...and what a superb din it makes...

WeeeEEEEEEEEEEEoooooooOOOOoooooo...

Wirp Wirp Woooo! FEEEEEEEEECH...

It was like being in the middle of a 1950s B-movie just as the flying saucers fly overhead.

Have you approached anyone in the BBC newsroom about this story Natalie? Sounds like ideal fodder for them

No...I sort of thought I'd caused myself and everyone else enough embarrassment already...

- Literally at this little adventure!

I know how you feel though Natalie... I've managed to get myself in a similar situation... called out the bomb squad all because some company in Belfast happened to send a free sample of shampoo to my mother (who hadn't asked for it) in a thick, padded envelope - addressed to 'the householder'... the only problem was that she happened to have two paranoid servicemen in the family, me and my father.

To make it even worse, when the guy took the packet out into our back yard to X-ray it and couldn't get a picture because half the image was blocked out be some kind of metallic shielding. At that stage he decided to have the entire street evacuated.
(The 'metallic shielding' ended up being the foil-wrapped shampoo sample!)






Does anyone else think that "WeeeEEEEEEEEEEEoooooooOOOOoooooo Wirp Wirp Woooo! FEEEEEEEEECH..." is the most intelligent post Jimster's made in ages!

No comment

To shampoo incident as well...

Blimey, we're all living on the edge nowadays. The seller fairly pointed out 'As if I'd put a return address on a bomb!' Of course that would have been no more if the evil plan had come to pass... And it was all packaged in the most wonderful spangly gold cylinder...he obviously thoroughly deserved every single one of his 250 positive feedbacks on eBay.

And a confusing loyal combined with in defence of me absent colleague!

Theremins...

Spooky Scooby Doo music


If it wasn't for them pesky kids I would have got away with this!

Zoiks! (Phrase courtesy of Paully).

"My glasses! My glasses! I can see perfectly without my glasses since having had laser surgery."

- a new take on Velma's character


Paully

It must be 'silly day' at the Towers today.

I hope you are not writing rude names on BBC post-its and then sticking them to peoples backs!

SSSHHHHHHHH!!!! Paully hasn't seen his yet!

What the... d'OH!

I'll get you, Natalie Pitstop! [shakes fist]

P

>It must be 'silly day' at the Towers today.

As opposed to what?

>I hope you are not writing rude names on BBC post-its and then sticking them to peoples backs!

Nah, they exhausted that one with their new sonic screwdrivers last month!