h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, obviously I am a mutant. But not necessarily an athletic mutant. So what can I do that is easy, cheats often, molests the team players, and causes all kinds of unnecessary chaos? (besides being a ess?) Oh yeah, and drinks a lot!

I want my colors to be green and purple (that way people will get nauseus if they look at my team for too long!) and I want my main scorer to be REALLY REALLY MASSIVE (and green...with warts) he can only have one leg, and everytime he hops he squashes someone into the mud! And he needs two hugely muscled arms so that he can thomp people at the same time as squashing them. Oh yeah, and he gets two eyes, but one is on the front in the middle of his forehead, and the other is in the back of his head. And fangs! I want my players to all have fangs! (It's really my only recruiting requirement!)

Let me know what I need to do...
(Looking forward to my team obliterizing the others!!!! YAY!)
s & es
Michele

Okay... Let's see...
S: 3
A: 1
O: 6
D: 5
That comes to a **** Team... Although they're not going to score often... the Special Player will take care of that!

Does he have a name?

Yes..hmmm lets see...his name will be...

Skullcrack Bonesplitter!

Okay... his stat line can be:
S: 3
A: 3
O: 6
D: 5
There, he basically fills up the team's failings...

Help us. We cant budge them.

Dangles a piece of fresh meat in front of her team... they start going wild...

There you go! That's the secret. I just don't feed them for a day before each game, and then I smear fresh meat all over the opponents jerseys. Gets my team motivated every time!

Don't do it to the Deathskin Razors! They're entire team was killed last season and they STILL came back for this year!

Right im going to get my team to wear anti-meat spray so it wont work on them (I hope).

And 'Bones' Jackson... Talk about a career player...