h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

couch's?

Oh be quiet you pretentious monkey. Know your place and stay there...

zebra's?

Join the Society for the Prevention of Apostrophe Misuse (SPAM) (A645545)!

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*has to go to bed, but bookmarks A645545 for tomorrow*

IT'S MY ONE GRAMMATICAL FLAW!!

Don't make me wrap you in sellotape, encase you in concrete and throw you into the sea...

(how ace is that threat - I reserve it for special occasions only...)

Trés Nice. Trés Nice indeed.

But singular though it may be, it's a grammatical flaw nonetheless

Now SORT IT! There's no excuse! You have the mental capacity and you know it!

*grins*

DID YOU EVEN PASS YOUR FRENCH GCSE???
*tres nice*?

Try *tres bon*

Or alternatively

*sehr gut*

(German)

'Scuse me Nat. And I shall call you Nat, even if it makes you think I'm calling you an annoying insect that tries to get into your mouth and eyes when you pass under a tree. That was the whole point of "Trés Nice."; The Nice was supposed to remain in English.

I think you're just in a picky mood today

Anyway, I did get a C, remarkably in French.. Not bad really, considering I hated it to bits.. Meanwhile, Music which I loved and was great in, resulted in a C too, which is rather strange because I could've got a B in that. Think it must've been the listening exam papers - You've sat them, you know the kind of questions they ask! (Although I'm paving the way for a "They've made them much easier now, are you completely thick?" remark)

Anyway, My fingers can reach a maximum speed of up to 69 WPM. No, I haven't gone insane, and no, I don't mean MPH. WPM stands for Words per Minute, which is a stupid measurement unit, because words, unlike miles, vary in size, and it takes me a different amount of time to type "Anyway", than it does to type "the" for instance.

And here we arrive at the shocking conclusion that is thus:

(I know, I just like using the word thus without it feeling like a typo for "this" )

Even the slightest remark which even hints at my inability to do something, say, construct a two-worded sentence in french, for instance can induce a rant on any random topic which happens to be crossing my mind at the time of reading.

I don't know how fast my WPM is yet...pretty fast though because I can touchtype. But I agree; WPM is a stupid phrase. It should be Characters Per Minute
(SEE - I ain't completely computer illiterate!!! I know the jargon. Yes I do), because then that would include spaces and other little symbol thingys.

French is easy. You don't have to make sense, just construct the sentences correctly. For instance, in the oral, saying *J'habite dans une piscine avec ma chien* is perfectly valid becausse it makes sense. Although I never really got the hang of the masculine/feminine terms. And in the exam, all you have to do is write loads of phrases inside your dictionary...and copy them onto your exam paper as *notes*..yes, that IS how I got an A grade!?

I'm currently researching my future. Have decided that I am not gonna go off and purchase a ready made PC. Instead I'm going to have a customised one -I have sutible geeky friends with a good nose for a bargain and plenty of experience. But thats way into the future yet. Once I'm on the net, I assure you, you'll be the first to know. But I'd rather do research now, than later and spend all the cash wrong. Then again, if on the off chance I win this writing competition, that is £2500 for me to have one now. So do me a favour, convince yourself I'm gonna win. Determined thought is necessary. You benefit from my quality of companionship being bettered.

I live in a swimming pool with my dog.

The LD Group's competition? Or have you told me of a real competition? Because I don't think the former would give a cash prize, just points and hall of fame recognition

Oh wait. I remember now. Course. That thing. Can't be bothered deleting up there ^^^. Nevermind.

I can also touch type. fast. Although I didn't actually remember what touchtyping was called until you just mentioned it. Thing is, with a TW keyboard, you can't improve your speed because if you type too fast (ie: half as fast as I can on a PC's keyboard) it can't cope and misses out mass amounts of characters...

Bleaurgh. Chicken wings.

Oh, and do you mean...

"You don't have to make sense, just construct the sentences correctly. For instance, in the oral, saying *J'habite dans une piscine avec ma chien* is perfectly valid becausse it's constructed properly, but it not making sense doesn't matter."

instead of

"You don't have to make sense, just construct the sentences correctly. For instance, in the oral, saying *J'habite dans une piscine avec ma chien* is perfectly valid becausse it makes sense."?

Hm?

Ha bloody ha. I made no mistake with the *pretentious brat* title...

You do know that Telewest updated their typing spaces? You can type really fast now. Occasionally it stops to catch up, but otherwise it is the same speed as a PC.

Ooh.. How good of them...

Does it change channels faster now down in Bristol? Although you generally get the updates last don't you? We haven't got the promised fast channel changing yet.. Although that new Hallmark channel's up on there, like they promised..

Oh, and I went to the liberty of going to Dictionary.com to use their thesaurus on pretentious and brat - but ended up just using the dictionary instead because I can't be bothered..

pre·ten·tious (pr-tnshs)
adj.
Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified.
Making or marked by an extravagant outward show; ostentatious. See Synonyms at showy.

pre·tentious·ly adv.
pre·tentious·ness n.

brat (brt)
n.
A Child, specifically an Ill-mannered one.


Then if I'm still a "child" at 16, you are still one at 18 (or nearly 18.. Did I forget your birthday? Nevermind, here, have a )

Start a new thread in my P.Space...I dislike being booted off this site - ends up having to reboot due to freezing of screen.

London gets the last updates. To the best of my knowledge, they start in Liverpool and slowly spread downwards - going from west to east. Very mysterious. I don't know why they just can't flick a switch.

My email is playing up as well today. Strange blue-ness.

Really? I would've thought they start up in scotland myself, because that's where telewest originated, aparently...

Anyway, If they're doing England, I would've thought Knowsley would be first - which is pretty close to here anyway, so let's say NW England is first, then ending with Land's End?

Or not..

Speaking of e-mail, I once liked having [email protected], and [email protected], because they looked nice, tidy and neat for an e-mail address...

But recently, Blueyonder mail has been playing up too - They said the computer with my account on it deleted itself, so I'd have to start from scratch, and since that's been apparently "fixed", my e-mail has been non existent or extremely rare.

Take this afternoon for instance, I log on to my e-mail, and it says "Welcome, you have 3 new message(s).". Where the hell were they? God knows.. Because I sure as hell couldn't find them...

*creates new thread*