h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ever been on the business end of a Land Raider Crusader?

Yes, i have.... i seem to remember it doing nowt except in the first turn except being obliterated be a lucky shot from a certain fire prism....... thats not like me...

Um, not a Crusader. I have killed quite a few Land Raiders in my time though.
I've seen the New Necron Codex. OUCH! You don't want to get close to a Monolith though. It's weapons do this: For every enemy unit in 12" you get D6 shots at each unit. The power is quite ouchy as well.

And a Weapon Destroyed roll just puts a -1 Modifier on the number of attacks...

Yes, and It's armour 14 all round.

*sobs quietly*

The Emperor is being kept alive by psychic energy, right? That's what the Golden Throne is, one big psychic life support machine. The Imperium kills millions of psychers a year to keep him "alive"

What's that gotta do with anything?

It's just stoopid. They kill millions a year to keep this (dead) body from rotting away. He can't communicate with the living, and if he farts it's a holy order to the high priests to go and clean the almighty Imperial stables.

Space Horses?

of course. Or to clean the drip trays in the bottom of the power armour.

If he doesn't eat, or drink, then he won't excrete either...

He eats psychic energy!

But he doesn't excrete, so that drip joke thingy won't work.

I was talking about the drip trays in the Space Marines power armour! What do you do if you need the loo halfway through a battle? You can't just crouch behind a tank trap, remove all that armour, do your business and then catch up with your buddies!

(Note the previous midget pun)

*trumpet*

Let's just leave the whole "drip-tray" thing now...

What do Space Marines eat?

Nutritional supplements i expect. Or Guano.....

Hmm. I think Space Marines must be bullied as children, that's why they hate everybody else so much.