Journal Entries

Mistakes

It is all too easy to lose your way... and I'm finding that mistakes I made months ago still haunt me.

I wish it wasn't so.

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Latest reply: Dec 19, 2005

Boomerang wandering...

I'm back! After a long, hard and painful journey through my own personal long dark tea-time of the soul, I have returned!

So... how did I go from depressed and lonely to returning to H2G2 with a smile on my face and a new pointy stick? Now that's a story...


...most of which we'll skip, as it involves a lot of sleeping, eating, visiting the toilet and other really, really boring stuff that nobody is interested in. Suffice to say, it all comes together in San Fancisco.

That place is mad.

Seriously, it's the world's mental asylum. The only way they can stop people tearing each other limb from limb is by pumping an almost tangible sense of froodiness into the city via its daily morning fog. After a few days, you can't help but sit back, relax, and enjoy the cooling sensation of your own brain dribbling out of your ears... magic.

So I'd taken a roundabout route into SF from LA, via Santa Barbera. It was there I found a bookstore, and upon a shelf, I saw the magic words...

"MOSTLY HARMLESS"

Joy! The fifth Hitchhiker book! I bought it, read it and then...

...felt empty. It had failed to fill me with the near wordless joy that the others had, and I felt sad about that. Maybe it was because it was the end, and that there would never be another Hitchhiker book.

So there I was, in San Fran, thinking about this, and then it hit me.

After I picked myself up, and gave the finger to the psychopathic cyclist, I realised that Hitchhiker WASN'T over! It was still alive, still there, and still avaiable for all to enjoy and love! I could be my own Ford Prefect, and live the dream! Visit exotic places, eat exotic foods, meet exotic people... and then dump the bill on someone else. Thank god for parents!

So here I am, towel in one hand, Railgun in the other. Wargamer's back, and better than ever!

...want a write up?

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Latest reply: Aug 18, 2004

The long road...

It's been nearly two years since I first joined Hitchhiker... A lot's happened.

If this were a movie, you'd have gentle music playing in the background, something like the Final Fantasy X intro theme, and you'd hear me recite what I'm typing in my head. Shame it isn't a film really, at least then we could guarentee a happy ending...

I'm not the same person I was two years ago. A lot changed, a lot happened. I drifted away from H2G2, came back again, but couldn't really re-settle. I suppose what killed my H2G2 logtime was that I moved in with my Nan when she became unable to look after herself, depriving me of internet access. It was a tough six months. It still hurts me. I'm blinking back tears as I type, trying hard not to think about it. The doctors said she wouldn't live past September. I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep, praying there wouldn't be a corpse waiting for me in the morning...

Nan went into a nursing home around October/November. It was a big shock, coming home again. It didn't feel like my home anymore. I settled back in though, and started to log more net time. However, H2G2 had moved on without me, and I couldn't really get back into it. I converted to EldarOnline instead.

And so it comes to this. H2G2 was a great place to be, and I'll always have fond memories of my time here. However, nothing lasts forever, and so I'm off. If anyone wants to contact me, my e-mail is [email protected] or you can find me at http://www.40K.ca/community I go by Wargamer there too.

Goodbye.

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Latest reply: Nov 19, 2003

In loving memory...

Arthur Brown died seven years ago. I was young then, it cut deep, so deep it hurts me even now. He was my inspiration as a young boy, I wanted to be everything he was, do everything he did. He loved computers, and I remember well the day he upgraded his Arcamedes to the latest RISC-OS 4 operating system. If only he were here today, how he would love all our wonderous new technology. Maybe I could persuade him to become a Hitchhiker like me. Alas, we'll never know... He loved aircraft, a passion I too have developed. Grandad, I miss you.

Adie Brown, it's harder to say what I feel for you now you're gone. I'm older now, and maybe it's easier to get over it once it's happened before. Or maybe I got used to watching you die. You've been dying all year, since last Summer. You weren't expected to last beyond September, and every day I prayed you'd make it through. I gave up half a year of my life to look after you, but I couldn't help you when you needed my most. No-one could. You were slowly dying, and on the inside, I think so was I. I'm glad it's over now, you're not in pain anymore. I hated watching you slip away, unable to walk, then getting weaker and weaker, moving to the nursing home, losing your memory, maybe even your mind. Every time I saw you suffering, I had to fight back the tears. Seeing you dead hurt me less, I think, as if I didn't know the body lying before me. It didn't mean anything to me, whatever made you the person I loved so much wasn't there anymore. You died peacefully last Wednesday. I'll always love you, farewell.

Discuss this Journal entry [16]

Latest reply: Feb 14, 2003

Wargamer Returns!!!

I'm Back! And I'm glad! The restoration of my name is a symbol of this return. Okay, so I'm not here every day like I used to, but I still aim to be here as often as possible.
For better or worse, I'm here to stay!

Discuss this Journal entry [2]

Latest reply: Oct 13, 2002


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Wargamer (The Wanderer)

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