Journal Entries
You win some, you lose some.
Posted Feb 22, 2007
But usually you lose more than you win.
Was ecstatic yesterday on the way home from work. I had a phone call telling me I'd won two tickets for Bloc Weekend, an underground dance music festival on a Pontins in Norfolk, ticket includes chalets, entrance to all arenas etc, costs £105 each so thats over £200 of tickets won.
So I was riding my bike home, sun is shining, smiling at the street corner rudeboys. Look! This world can be good!
And then I arrive home to find a court summons for driving without due care and attention. For an accident which was in no way my fault.
The profanity filter will not allow me to further express my thoughts on this subject.
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Latest reply: Feb 22, 2007
Good news
Posted Jan 31, 2007
Had my final x-ray and the bone in my hand had united... Twas my birthday at the weekend too, got very messy.
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Latest reply: Jan 31, 2007
To Laura
Posted Jan 25, 2007
"Funny how life goes
and we take all with no warning,
Its like one minute,
Its alright
Then suddenly everything's upside down
Situations change,
Close becomes distant"
I was thinking about you today. I'm not sure why you chose to pop into my head but you did. Maybe it was Jenna G's rendition of "For Lost Friends." hitting my ear drums through the medium of MP3, but that's hardly likely, as that album has been on effective repeat for months.
We never got it on did we?
There was always something or someone in the way, only one of us could ever seem to be single at the same time.
I met you when you were Kieran's girlfriend. We got on brilliantly straight away, but I've never been one to move to one of my friends girls. Particularly when it's one of my oldest, safest friends that has the girl. I remember when his band would play a gig it would be me and you at the front dancing away, you always were such a good dancer.
We danced well together.
We'd always spend a lot of time together, you never had a mobile phone which always made me feel incredibly awkward telephoning my mate and asking him if I could speak to his girlfriend. I fancied you like mad even then, but was happy just spending time around you. We got on, we'd often spend whole nights out together, but we never let it go any further. I'm sure we both knew, or at least had a pretty good idea what was going through each others heads though.
There were those nights we spent in the same bed, having bumped into each other on the town hours earlier, a club/drug/pub fuelled night and then pass out together. Nothing ever happened, but I wander if you woke up in the night like I did and wished it was different.
So then you and Kieran moved to London. We'd still bump into each other on your return visits, same kind of occurances, welded to each others sides all night long, spend the whole night together and leave in the morning with a deep sense of frustration.
And then there was the time you ran into me when I was out with Sophia. You never knew, but Sophia and I had a deal when we got together that there was a person each of us wanted that we could break up for, no questions asked.
You were that person.
But I didn't know what to do at the time, we barely got a chance to talk that night. It was only after that night that I found out that you and Kieran had split up. I kicked myself but I had no way of contacting you, you would lose mobiles like other people lose cigarette lighters.
The next time I saw you was also the last. I went to my usual pub to be told by a friend, "Laura's here." (Yes, they all knew I wanted you. They knew we were the kind of people who work well together. But they were all mates with Kieran too. What ya gonna do?) I turned the corner and into your welcoming arms. You asked about Sophia, I told you it was nothing serious and anyway, she had left the country by then. I then asked if you were still single. You weren't. I didn't pry any further.
So we went to Lakota together, just me and you, no-one else. A few pills each, I'm sure we kissed for the first time in years of knowing each other on that dancefloor. We walked back, arm in arm, you had already arranged to crash at mine like you had so many times before. By now we had sobered up and I think the boyfriend was fresher in your memory, nothing happened that night apart from chatting all night as usual. You left to go meet your family that morning. That was the last I ever saw of you.
So what could I do? I've never known your surname, never needed to. I think your split from Kieran was far from amicable, and anyway, I can hardly turn around to one of my friends and ask "Remember your first love? Remember how her and I got on so well? Well have you got her number now you aren't together?" No. I'm not that kind of person.
So you've reached that category, the ever growing number of "what-ifs" life presents the older you get. "What if something had happened? What if we had both bumped into each other single? What if, what if, what if.
I suppose it's just something to get used too...
"For my lost friends
Now stops bad feeling
I've put it in the past
The ways we went wrong
for all lost friends
Though it cost time healing
Im better off from it, better"
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Latest reply: Jan 25, 2007
Shipwrecked
Posted Jan 23, 2007
I knew I wouldn't be watching this series of Shipwrecked, the thought of how close I came to living on a desert island for 5 months would be too bad. But I flicked it on anyway, a quick look at the line-up. How annoying could it be when the one girl I knew before the audition is one of the starting line-up. I know Leanne from the DnB/clubbing scene in Bristol, I wouldn't say friends but very familiar faces...
Mind you, it does give me a chance to excuse my lack of selection. The producers asked if anyone knew each other before, as they want strangers for the dynamic... We admitted to knowing each other, so maybe with her selection higher than mine it pushed me off the list.
Well, thats what I'm telling myself to make me feel happier anyway...
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Latest reply: Jan 23, 2007
Just one
Posted Jan 17, 2007
Just one of the many travesties of justice, just one of the people held at Gauntanamo bay. Whatever their status, this is illegal detention. When it can be proven that a person was at work in Britain when they were supposedly training as a terrorist it's FUNKING disgusting.
Ahmed Errachidi, 40
Ahmed Errachidi is a Moroccan who came to Britain in 1985 and was later given indefinite leave to remain. His wife and two sons live in London.
He worked as a chef in a number of well-known restaurants, including the Hard Rock Cafe.
He travelled to Afghanistan via Pakistan and the US authorities claimed he attended a terrorist training camp.
Mr Errachidi worked as a chef in London
But his family have wageslips showing that he was cooking at a restaurant in Muswell Hill, north London, at the time he was supposedly in the camp.
He was captured in Pakistan and eventually taken to Guantanamo. It is thought he may be one of several Guantanamo detainees who were "sold" to the US for $5,000 each.
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Latest reply: Jan 17, 2007
BobTheFarmer
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