h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Heyla Also Ran 1.

I hope you don't mind, but I've been perusing the site and I'm awed. *all gawking and starry eyed at someone who actually worked those 'pewters that take up three floors*
Glad you decided it was worth the effort to give h2g2 another go. We need all the experienced advice we can get....
I'm afraid I can't help with any of your 'pewter questions as i haven't got the hang of them yet either (and i feel you have the better excuse that I! )
Hope you'll answer and let me ask stupid questions from time to time..

Zantic, an apparently evil scientist..

Oh Zantic, you evil scientist. Of course we don't mind visitors. That is what this is all about surely. It has taken me 24 hours hours of SOLID THINKING to decipher the pewter!!. Brilliant, but oh dear the years have taken their toll of my erstwhile quick-wit. anyway, I think our building was only two stories high. But I do know that the works were downstairs. I had taken the run name of "Grannie" and after I had inserted my cardboard slips into the slots,the printer began spewing paper all over the floor, with me getting more and more panic stricken. Eventually a message came through saying "Grannie seek help". I was quite convinced that there was someone down there, in the innards, who had realised that I did not really know what I was doing and had printed that instruction to me. Or do you think that the pewter did it itself? Will I ever know? Nice to talk to you. AR1 the aged - or Corsican Brigand.

There is no such thing as an inanimate pewter......It knows what you are doing. It knows what you are thinking...and therefor it ALSO knows when the absolute worstest, horriblest, nastiest time to break down is. And that's when it does it!
And 'pewter' comes from my inability to type properly..and spending FAR TOO MUCH time in the TOGs chatroom of a friday evening, on my dad's phone bill....
I had a horrible experience to do with pewters a couple of weeks go....I found that the zx spectrum (the first pewter my parents ever bought for big sis and me....rubber keys and requirement for a tape player.....luvverly things) is now a permanaent exhibition in the science museum... Along with an arcade version of 'pong' the first ever game-boy type thing. Now, I know I'm basically a baby (all my freinds tell me so.......) but this.....I think I want a walking stick...
PS...have you found anyone willing to accompany you to the X-mas meet in nodnoL? (Ooops, been watching red Dwarf again....London)

Hi young friend, I cannot believe that your parents had a pewter which was older than mine!! And mine is still in use where I used to live. Anyway, mine did not have any games on it, and I still do not know how to play games - except Freecell if you call that a game. I believe that my son or one of my grandsons will be taking me to the do in London - that is if there is the necessary access. It is really kind of you to offer. I am in serious trouble because along the living of life I seem to have lost my imagination - that is if I ever had one. But I must have had one don't you think? We all dream of wonderful things - is that imagination? Please enlighten me You are very clever at designing your page. I only know how to type and occasionally can put in a smiley which I shall do now , especially for you. AR1

And a in return for the , .

It gets worst, Ma and Pa had a Dragon (BBC) and after the ZX's came the QL!!!!!!

Ah! Freecell,the easiest game in the world...to get addicted to at least. I'm lucky...they don't have it on the work pewter...or I'd never get any work done!

As for my page...you must have me mixed up with someone else...i've not really done thing to it....Just written a few lines of rubbish.

Don't worry about your imagination, I promise that it is lurking around in there somewhere, all you have to do is dream etc. As you say, that's all imagination is, along with the ability to suspend cynicism and therefor thik of all sorts of impossible stuff

I think that loss of innocence/whatever is what makes us less 'imaginative' as we get older......but the Imagination is still there....But then again, I could just be talking codswallop. At my age, I have little to go on but other peoples views on life...

See you in nodnoL.. Zantic

Dear Zantic, you evil scientist Thank you for your lovely letter last week. Sorry that I have been dilatory about replying but I was wondering if I could possibly reply to you in Red Dwarf text. I can write it fairly rapidly by hand but I do not think that the pewter will take kindly to my trying to do it. I look forward to meeting you in nodnoL (Do you see that that is wrong because the lower line should face to the left and not to the right if you get my meaning?) I should think the only word/letter which remains unchanged is I. or even A. Incidentally I do not know what Red Dwarf is about. You had better enlighten me. I dnes uoy mraw sgniteerg dna peek pu eht doog krow. the aged ess. How long did it take you to read that? But please do'nt reply in it entirely because it is easier to write than to read . I shall have to stand on my head with a mirror and I cannot do that and will undoubtedly become a if I do!!. And I do not want to be one just yet.

Sorry about the delay, the connexion at this end is really quite slow..

Anyway, warmest greetings to you too you ol' ess

Red Dwarf is/was an exceedingly good BBC series of the science fiction kind that has been lost to us for many a year starring Craig Charles (he's the one that does the robot wars thing these days)

The reversed writing thing is due to one episode where they found themselves on an earth where time war running backwards. Therefore it is an 'old' running joke that those of us who love Red Dwarf keep repeating in hopes that it will one day be funny again

Have to go...someone is looming over my shoulder wondering why this does not look like the work I should be doing. Will write again in the morning..

Zantic

You'll notice that I have refrained from reverse writing. I have no wish to be the cause of you becoming the ess...

And I want to meet you at the X-mas meet (I will also be not long past celebrating my quarter centuary on this planet, and as such wich to end up well sozzled.. Not in jail, so you'd better turn up alive and well!! )

I really should be writing an essay at the moment, bu cannot be botheres, which is a bit of a shame as I quite enjoy the subject. I'm having too much chatback on H2G2 at the moment...other people are obviously skivving aswell

Dear Zantic, Can you tear yourself away from your books and go and have a glass of at the Lighthouse Bar. My granddaughter Phillipa is getting married today at 14.30 GMT in a beautiful garden wedding to her wonderful Greg. So wish them happiness. I'll write again as I must now get down to the serious business of finishing the beautiful bottle of Brut which I hsve on ice. With a and a big AR1 PS I have decided to cast aside the side and become one of a

Slightly later, but better than never
Give them my best....it's a brave thing they are doing...

So how are you doing AR? I hear that you are not coming to the nodnoL bash...but better to get your eyes sorted than made worse by drink huh? Never mind, we'll just have to sort out another bash when you can come along!

Why the change to the ?

I'm off home for the holidays tomorrow...five hours in a train if it's on time and then nothing but good food and pampering!!
But I shall be dropping in here from time to time if I can convince Dad to let me spend his money on the phone bill..

Anyway. If I don't manage to get in touch before, have a GREAT Yuletide and and even better new year. And best of wishes and luck for your operation!

Zantic dear, the great Thank you for making it to the celebration!. I shall MISS you. You must plead with your loving parents to be allowed to cheer up an old ess, now ally transformed into a Have a great holiday. Is it north or south you are travelling? To the snow or the sea? Both are With a great affectionate from AR1 - oops sorry some water dripped onto you!!

Heading Northwards to the Falkirk area of Sconnie Botland AR. Hopefully snow, but hopefully not when I nick Ma's car...I hate driving in the snow...

I'll do my best, but it may entail me sneaking down to the pooter in the mddle of the night. Dad is a big fan of Freecell and minesweeper. And I do think that the Worms competition will re-start as soon as I get ho ho home!

Do you realise it is much more difficult to a than a ess
However....big X-mas and

Zantic, the

Very dear friend, I do hope that you have had a good holiday and that you did have some snow. I have taken quite an important decision. I decided that I really was spending too much time on h2g2 and was not getting on with the tasks that I had to do. The important one is an autobiography of a very wonderful Methodist missionary which I started quite a while ago. If I don't hurry up I shall be away with the fairies and not able to complete in this lifetime!!. so I try to only look at my site once a week - which means in actual fact about three times a week. You really made me laugh when you said it was difficult to a . However have you ever thought of ing when you are swimming? I think that would be reasonably easy to do!!. Take care of yourself and enjoy yourself at the party. Have a glass of on me. With an affectionate watery Alro ran 1

Hope everything's going alright with you AR1! Nice to hear from you again...how's the eyes? If I remember correctly you should have had them seen to ( ) by now, no?
Which missonary would that be (I'm deplorably ignorant on topics such as that I'm afraid...) And why are you so sure the would have you anyway?
I had a great x-mas and new year...hope you did too...although we got no snow, it was freezing cold all the time and I spent most of it sitting wrapped in blankets in front of the fire....How wimpish of me, I know!

Anyway, I promise not to worry about you until I haven't heard from for a couple of weeks, OK? So make sure you do get back to me occasionally

I shall ensure a toast for you on Saturday, and I promise to think of you while we wander about London taking silly photo's for the scavenger hunt...

Luv and (see, I practiced!)

Zantic

Hi dear , I do hope that you had a great time on Saturday night and won the hunt. I thought of you chasing around London and hope that you did not get too wet. I am continuing slowly. I have just received some important information from my librarian friend about my dear Methodist meissionary. He would be really alarmed to know that a "Popish" researcher held him in such great esteem.!! I hope to hear from you about your antics on Saturday. Fond s AR1

My dear Zantic hardworking .Not a peep from you for a week. I hope you are well. Do let me know. Affectionate AR1 (dry!!)

HEyla AR1

Large and for you!!

Sorry I've been so long n the reply...but am actually getting the hang of this work thing !!!!!

Had great fun at the Bash, although would have enjoyed it more if you were around, even on the Friday night before-hand (where we were all sensible and growed-up...honest !!!!)

The photo scanvenger hunt was a larf (though by the end we all wanted Abi throttled..too far to walk in such weather)...they should be putting up a link to the photos sometime this week...I'm the one in the silly Jesters hat..

Hope everything is OK with you...Must run back to the lab and see if I've actually managed to cookup something other than a souffle!

I promise to get back to you sooned next tiem

Luv, Hugz and Aspidistraz to that I love so much (and the ex-ess too )

Zantic

Very dear Zantic, my special , It is always such a joy, such a pleasure to hear from you. What did you cook up this time as your chemical souffle? I had gained the impression that you were a medic. Are you not? I shall look for the photos with much pleasure and interest and hope to find the Court Jester there. I am in a bit of a hurry as I have to go and get ready for the big meat wagon to come and take me to see the latest who is going to examine me today. But I have great hopes from him/her. With very affectionate s from the ageing formerly ess.

Erk Yeuch No nononononono. I am not a medic AR1!!! for the ageing to show no offence taken

The chemical souffle was in fact a preperation of DNA, which is chemical by it's nature I suppose... not that I could prove it though, I ain't no chemist either!

I'm looking forward to see those photos too.....no-one seems to have captured me on fillum for the rest of the evening (not a bad thing) I' t's just that that Hat was forcing me into all the scavenger hunt photos (I therefore shall not be wearing it again in a hurry! )

How did the appointment with the latest Medic go then? Did they actually give any useful info (I doubt it, as I work for one and he is terminally useless...)

Have you had your eyes done yet? If so, are they all better? Hope so, as I am learning slowly but surely how lucky I was to have 2020 for so long.... This year my optician (and father btw) informed me that my astigmatism is going to be the worst in the family...and the reason I was always getting headaches and the like was due to the extreme change in prescritpion since the last visit (blueface)

Oh well...at least the spec hide some of my face!

Must go now, I have a seminar to attend/kip through!

Luv, Hugz and Aspidistraz to my favorite

Zantic

Oh dear Zantic , You have me intrigued. Not a quack and not a scientist. What therefore are thou? Work with DNA. Surely one looks down a microscope to see that. And doesn't looking down a microscope make you, de facto, some sort of scientist!! My eye op was postposned to the 3rd of March because I had an infection. It is going to be a lens implant. I have cataracts in both eyes due to having taught swimming for 21 years in the tropics. The sun glaring down on the water gave me the same sort of cataracts which arc welders have. I have had one implant thirteen years ago and now have decided to take the plunge and have the other one done. One can have really smart glasses and I am sure that you have a really interesting pair.
I saw the diabetic specialist. It was a wonderful team and I was examined from top to toe. Problem is that a heart condition and diabetes (newly diagnosed but it seems I have had it some years) are not the most wonderful receipe for long life. As I have quite a lot of things to do before "kicking the bucket"(!) I need to pay attention to a few things - like losing some avoirdupois. Which is very difficult as my favourite occupation is food. Good beautiful lovely food. Oh dear, HOW am I going to have the courage to do it? I am off swimming now. I have not been able to swim since before Christmas so am looking forward to it. And then when we get back, my son, my friend and I are off to see the "Lord of the Rings". Keith my son read the books years ago when he was at University. I have never read it, but Tolkien, the author, was born in the country in which I lived for sixty odd years. So I feel I have an affinity with him. Enough waffling. Go well, dear and I look forward to your next missive with much pleasure. Your aged AR1 and a very wet