h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Monty Python and playing the bassoon? OK, I can see that. Well you certainly seem to have a sense of humour, good for you. The leather catsuit sounds very interesting, do you wear it while playing the bassoon or does that take mens minds off your musical talents? That's quite a userpage you've got going there, not too shabby at all. Nice work for a bassoon player. Oh, one more question - doesn't laughing at Monty Python films make it hard to play the bloody bassoon? Trying to picture it but keep getting the catsuit visuals instead, but that's alright. Very alright grrrrr.

Well, I have to save the catsuit for special occasions. Otherwise, people might get accustomed to it and then it would lose its distracting powers. Or would it...

I suppose I'll have to test that further. If only I had some willing volunteers...

I know there is no web cam here, so you're just gonna have to take my word for it - my hand is firmly in the air and I would be delighted to volunteer (anything in the name of important scientific research). I feel that looking deeper into such matters is vital if we are to progress as a species, and I insist on doing my part. I'm prepared to work nights, weekends, public holidays, and bring saucers of milk if need be. I'll do whatever it takes, that's how committed to this cause I truly am. So.....do I get the job?

I think you've got yourself a deal, mister! But now that it's getting to be summertime, it's a bit too hot for the catsuit so I'm trying out my black leather bikini instead.

I'm so glad I have got the job. Thank you very much. However if you are going to play the bassoon in a black leather bikini I fear I may have to apply for stress leave immediately - something to do with blood pressure and heart rate. On second thought, I'd rather just die at work. Soft sweet music and heavenly scenery - let's face it I thought I'd rocked on passed the pearly gates anyway. When can I start?

Hmm, I think I have some spare time this weekend

I do have a job and silly things like that, but there are priorities here, you know?

Well I certainly hop you can fit me in.
What do you do for a job? And if you say you model leather bikinis I'll string myself up from the bloody rafters.

That would be hope, hopping is for the undignified or those with their foot caught in their trouser leg whilst undressing.

Ah. I think either one of those pertains to me quite nicely.

Are you saying you manage to combine beind undignified with undressing? A leather bikini shouldn't require too much taking off, and it wouldn't be hard to get help if needed

Man, you sure are a useful fellow to have around

And the job's more of an internship, really. I'm doing research for the summer. Working very hard, of course.

I'm also involved in research, what is it that you are doing?
Yeah, I can be handy at times - hell when it comes to a leather bikini I can be all hands, but that's another story. You do not wanna know

No, I think I'd rather leave that one up to my imagination

I'm doing some simulations on a type of antenna. Granted, I've never actually done anything with antennas before but I'm not about to let that stop me.

Please elaborate on your antenna simulation work. At least your research is "work" and therefore I assume brings a wage with it. I'm slogging away and getting around with the bum outta my jeans. Not real pleasant now that winter is settling in here. Combine that with the fact that my transport is a motorcycle and there's a chance I'll freeze the wedding tackle off by October . Such is life.

It's a summer program, and yes, they are actually paying me to do this. I just started a week ago so I really don't have that much to elaborate on, but more details will be forthcoming once I learn what's going on.

Hey, you have transport. Mine is limited to my own two feet here, and it's getting to be pretty darn hot, plus nothing is close enough to walk to.

Well uni is about 42km from me so walking would not be an option, and due to me living in a out-of-the-way backwater it takes two and a half hours by public transport each way. That's when you get a train that doesn't run express through my town, and those are limited, so you either arrive home at around 8pm or 10.20pm. Then you have to be on the 6.35am train to get to uni the next day. I've only had to do that about 5 or 6 times in five years (waiting for parts for the bike)fortuately, but you can see what a drag that is by how it's stuck in my mind. It makes for a long day, then you have to cook, eat, and wash the dishes by which time your knackered and just want to go to bed - no study gets done. Makes me remember I'm lucky to freeze on the bike for 1 hour each way, rather than be at the mercy of heated public transport. Didn't mean to sound like I was bitching, I take it all back.

Yuck! Kind of makes me glad to be stuck on campus.

You live on campus, I always say to people that would make life so much easier. If I leave something behind it stays there, a 2 hour motorcyle journey makes it 4 hours riding for the day - too big of a chunk out of work time. You're so lucky. Wkae up, wander off to uni, come home for lunch - what a life. The only upside is this house is mine, so that's something.

Yeah, get up, go to work, decide what to have for lunch, decide the food available isn't worth the effort of eating it. At least you have (probably) facilities to cook your own food. But I don't mind on campus living, even if the rooms do kind of suck.

Facilities to cook? I was under the impression that Americans were incapable of lighting a stove and therefore even those with a house featuring a full kitchen purchased every meal including breakfast. By the way, doughnuts are not a suitable breakfast. Or a suitable anything else for that matter. The five American food groups - you got your cream group, your chocolate group, your burger group, your fried chicken group, and your pizza group. Incidentally, I do have cooking facilities and take a cooked lunch to uni most days and heat it in the microwave. If not, it's sandwiches. I couldn't afford to buy lunch everyday (or anyday) let alone dinner as well. Bon apetite baby.