h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...well Cuddles (she said to the stuffed hamster she held in her lap) Mistadrong has been working very long hours and we need to do whatever we can to make sure he's warm, loved and comfortable when he gets home.

~Cuddles of course didn't say anything, being a stuffed hamster of discerning taste he still couldn't figure out how he ended up in Michele's lap on a four-poster bed in the underworld~.

Now what shall we do to prepare for Mistadrong's arrival? Oh I know, we'll string silk flower leis around the top of the bed, have soft Hawaiian music playing in the background, and some fresh sliced fruit and warm bread on a platter on the night stand. Michele smiled to herself as she padded into the kitchen to start slicing the fruit...

~Cuddles of course kept his comments to himself. He thought Michele's elevator didn't quite go to all floors and that she was a half a nut short of an Almond Joy. But being stuffed of course - he couldn't really chance verbalizing his thoughts, as it would contravene the "Stuffed Animals Code of Not Speaking to Humans". Which everyone knows that the Stuffed Animals League developed so that stuffed animals around the world wouldn't have to be bothered by speaking to lowly, ignorant humans.~

Michele returned with the sliced fruit, climbed back into bed, grabbed Cuddles (planting a huge on his furry little face) and waited for the other bedders to arrive...

~Cuddles flinched, but gave thanks that Michele practiced proper dental hygiene~

::Mistadrong entered in a puff of smoke::
I don't remember having a four poster as big as this.
::Begins a tour of the perimiter::
This may take a while.

Hear dear... better take some fruit and bread with you. You might be gone a few days! I'd loan you Cuddles, but he has a fear of large open spaces...

That's a kind offer but I snacked before I came, besides there isn't much nourishment in a cuddly toy.
I'll head out towards you as soon as I get a satelite fix on your location.
::Scans the vast tundra of duvet through powerful binoculars::
My God it goes for miles.

::arranges many platters of snacks and items that have as their main ingredient on the bedside tables. Makes sure that Igor is available to supply everyone with drinks then plumps up the silk pillows and picks up the huge book and turns to the first page and begins to read::

It was a day like any other day.......

"...except for the fact that it wasn't. A day that is. Nope - it was definitely a "night". A night out on the open duvet under a full moon. Ferdinand, the dust bunny, was just rolling out his sleeping bag when..."

...he noticed a quiet flapping noise in the distance.
He froze in horror when he realised it was a pair of mutant pillowcases that were flying straight towards him.
He tried to move his legs but to no avail, they were.....

"...stuck to the duvet cover by static electricity.

"I'm a gonner" thought Ferdinand, as he looked around in a panic for someone or something that might save him. When over the rolling hills of 300 count Egyptian Cotton Duvet he saw the Lone Dryer Sheet approaching. Quickly he looked back the other way. The pillowcases were almost upon him! "yikes" Would the Lone Dryer Sheet..."

save him or do what Lone Dryer Sheets do?
All motion stopped suddenly as everyone paused to figure out what a Lone Dryer Sheet does.
"Oh I feel so depressed" it wailed. "I was quite happy with lines like, a dryer sheet's gotta do what a dryer's sheet's gotta do, but now I......

"...feel like singing a little tune!"



" Happy-a Valentine's Day-a to you-ah!
(thank ya, thank ya very much)
Happy-a Val-en-tine's Day-a ta-oooooooh ya-ew-ah!
*throws sweaty scarf out into the crowd*
A Happy, happy Valentine's Day-ah to ya-ew... *(thank ya!)
Happy Valentine's Day-ah ta-ooooooh-ah ya-ouuuuuuu!"



*the pillowcases are speechless*

Wow I've never seen the range empty out so fast... must be cause they're not used to good singin'!