h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Louisiana...No, no, wait...Mississippi...No, I mean San Diego...Wait a minute...San Diego isn't a state...You've got it all wrong! Oh, well, I don't hold it against you. It could happen to anybody. No, don't feel bad. I often have trouble remembering where I live, too. It's nothing to be ashamed of but...Actually, come to think of it, I don't have trouble remembering where I live, and it is something to be ashamed of, but that's not the point. The point is...Well...Oh, dear...I don't believe I had one.

While I'm here though I might as well welcome you to community. It's tons of fun. And don't worry. Not everyone here is as insane as I am.

Have fun in Michigan.

Oh, thank you, I'm enjoying Michigan a lot.. but wait.. this means you get the grand prize! Here it is -----> Enjoy!
And I'm not worried at all about the insanity, it's so much more fun.

I like 's. I hope it's a . are nifty. Hmm...If we're exchanging 's, I should probably give you something...umm...let's see...what do I have lying around here? Oh, I know! Here, have a

I love 's! How'd you know?
I also love all these smileys we can use on here.

Well, who doesn't love 's? Especially in October. They look so much better lying on their sides like that, wouldn't you agree? And everyone loves 's. They ROCK! I'm especially enthused about the new smiley. You can never have too many 's.

Oh yes, an is definately an improvement on its side like that. I think that's how mine will be this December.
I like the myself. It looks just like me! Except I'm not so yellow, and have more body parts.. and no wings.. and I'm less round too.. so I guess it doesn't look exactly like me after all.. oh no.. don't know what I was thinking.. still a cool smiley though.

Hmm...Yes...Even though I have no idea what you look like, I can see the resemblance. Hmm...Let's see, how exactly do I express my physical appearance in smiley form?

++=me

Yep, that should give you a pretty clear picture of me.

But, I went on your page and you're not wearing a santa hat in your picture.. Something is fishy here.. Which one is the real you?!

Oh no...You're onto me...

Okay, my new, revised smiley eqation is:

++-=me

There, that's better. Sorry about the confusion. This is the definitive me equation.

Much better! Yep, that looks just like you. I'm glad we got all that settled.

So am I. I'd hate to mislead anyone into picturing me with a permanent santa hat attached to my head, when the truth is, I wear santa hats less than 50% of the time.

But why? Santa hats are cool! You should wear one all the time and start a trend. And it would be practical too -- protection from sun in the summmer, from cold in the winter. And little children would love you. Although.. little children can be disturbing, so I don't know if you really want that. Still, santa hats can be very useful.

Little children already love me, or at least they love to come over to my house and play video games. I'm never sure which. And while santa hats are cool, I feel that Santa himself is already firmly associated with the santa hat (heck, the darn thing's even named after him). I'm afraid that if I were to permanently graft a santa hat to my head, I might be deemed a "poser." No, what I need is an entirely new type of hat; a hat the would be associated with me and me alone. Yes, this is why I have been diligently working for years to create (dah da da dah!) the arthbard hat. Once the arthbard hat is completed, its wearer should be protected from the sun, be warm in the winter, be attractive, and never have to pay taxes. Unfortunately, I still have a long way to go in my hat-making abilities. So far, I've got something that looks like a santa hat without the little white ball on the end, which isn't so great, considering that the little, white ball is the best part...

I'm sure little children would love you even if you didn't have video games. Maybe, anyways. I guess you're right about the santa hat though, it is a one-person sort of thing, and santa was first. The arthbard hat sounds like a good idea, but you should work on it a little faster, winter is coming up and tax day soon after. Maybe you should try focusing on the triangular aspect, which has always been a big hit.

Yes, people do seem to enjoy the triangle, but I was thinking maybe I'd try something a little different. Right now, I'm thinking about hexagons. Unfortunately, hexagons don't seem to translate easily into hat form. Perhaps that explains why no one has tried it before. I'm not giving up just yet, though. I've already managed a hat that sort of resembles a square. Now, if I could just manage to get two more sides on there...

Why stop there? Octagons are even more exciting! It could work with some determination and time..

Octagons are cool, but I don't want to look like a stop sign. Maybe, if I change the color to something besides red. Or as long as I'm adding sides, I could add two more sides and make a decagon. I have to stop adding sides at some point, though. The trick is finding the optimal number. How many sides are too many? Obviously, there is much research to be done on this subject.

You do have to be careful, add too many sides and you're back with a circle again. I'm still rooting for the octagon. I think if you make your hat a different color, say a nice deep indigo, it will work really well.

Hmm...An indigo octagon...It just might work! I'll have to get to work on this right away. The non-triangular, shape does introduce something of a quandary however. I know that I for one have always been a big fan of the little white ball on the end. Now, an octagon doesn't really have an end. The obvious solution is to just choose one of the corners, but then there's the question of which corner. I'm currently leaning towards the top-right, but they all have their advantages. I could put a white ball on every corner, but I'm afraid that would be overkill. More than one little white ball is too many.

How about right in the middle? Or on a tassel like graduation hats? So many possibilities...