h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi.
I put it off...
& put it off
+ put it off
and
+
& , etc.

And now...
*mails message*
It is sent...
Yes, I'd like to join...
If you have a position- for a crazy magician (Oh,- hey... That rhymes (what fun!))

-Thornthedruidguy
*Even if he really has no particular-reasonwhy (that rhymes too).*

Forgot to *put * <-

What contract was that again?

Eaugh! Another typo.
*hits it with a hammer.*
, I mean... "."

Way back when in thed whey-back when...
[Cheesey 80's Back to the Future type-music plays "Going back in time..." ]
*pulls flux-capacitor to shut-off ugly oldfashioned tapedeck.*
"When I had first,-first showed you my nutty stuff...
And you had a idea, yes?"

*Gets the key-lock to click a button & make (the Dalorean chirp).*
There, does that help?

, more typos... *hits the typos with a lugwrench <- to feel better.
}Clunk!{ }Paf!{
}Whack!{ *ringing dull thud*, etc.
}Whammo!{ <- not to be confused w/a fast Slim Pikkins song of the same (or a very similar) title...

*You know, the one at the beginning,- when you were like first starting to *eggs Thorn* hey, no-not that... ? <- Good. Yes, now where was I... Oh yeah, about joining this supposed "Evil Army" you are said to ... , I mean run, ye-es?

"Whoops, In pops a visitor" or something like that. <- think that was the name of the thread.
*Catches the critter and hands it to EvilClaw,- where it metamorphises/transmogrifies itself into a new, replacement hair (for the one the had so impersonal snitched away &/ taken...*

<(Thread critter, that-is).>

Sleight-of-the hand-and sleight of mind...
The is more than the slight-of-wit...
Hallucinus say...
+ (but, that is not what he meant... for they did not have 'Net' or 'e-mail' so he could not be ()).

And on that note... *Thorn packs up his table, stuffs the parakeet& the and the al deck-of-cards... into his silk hat... sticks the woman together (whom he has just sawed in half)... and otherwise leaves.*

Penny for your thoughts...
Later,
*with a bit of a casual (albeit fancygloved) wave on the way out of the HQ*
<- To give you room to Rhuminate upon it... Oh Rhubarb!

<>
*The bow is actually a cleverly concealed *duck* to avoid any possible launched mortar on his way out (by the doorstep)*

So... yeah... what contract?

"Idunno..."
*rolls it up into a coil, shreds it (stuffing the thing into his pipe), then burns the little bits & pieces of paper...*
*shakehands?*
"Is that, do we have some sort of deal?..."
*a nonsensicasl one, but... nevertheless.*
...

Geedarnit! Another ed typo!
*takes it and point blank takes it out w/a shotgun*
}Ker-pow!{ double hit, etc.
*smoke trails lazily off the end of the stock (or is that the barrel?).*

I.e. will join Evil Army willingly, if allowed to have a position... as a/the crazy magician.
*And also mayhap to help/assist in hunting(down) typos.*

Alternatively I could just confuse you into thinking you were a circus bear.

"What the, why would I..."
*starts to drift off*
"Those-eyes..."

*jumps awake*

I am no-not a circus bear,-why do I -have-a-care, MR. Claw... (have I broken a law... or perhaps maybe trod on a paw?).
*Offers EC Green eggs & ham.*

*Attempts to stifle-a growl*
"Thorn-I am, For I am Thorn..."
Would you eat them w/a mead-filled horn?
Or maybe with some "cream of corn?"
Mayhap you wish I had not been born...
*wonders whether he will be treated 'with scorn'*

*balancing ona ball (then noticing and getting a bit upset)*
"Would you eat them in a box? with a fox? (spread-on bagels) with cream-cheese and locks (Please...)?"
*hops off the ball.*

*pushes out of window, who falls hitting to laqnd on who is attempting to wheel-in on/in gurney*
Multiple collateral injury. Ow ...How improbable is that? <- he asked the scheming .
-da!