h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

blue

lagoon....................

Nightly I gaze heavenwards to hear obstinate owls violently eating rats.

Nerys is going home to her ovulating orchestral valet, expecting rain.

now i guess hourly the hour our omnipotent vacuum eventually returns.

No! It goes here, Timothy! He obviously objects vigorously, even rabidly.

I drempt last night, of a velvet curtain, aflailing in the breeze through an open window, the wind was shaking the window pain and the howing beasts outside roared vigerously at the flower arrangements... and then it cmae to pass and the hoover was there!

I dreamt I was driving an ice cream van but it was the middle of winter & nobody had thumbs to hold the cornets.

I've found the thumbs.... they're stuck to the strings on my new guitar it must surely be a sign, lettuce play the banjo or sitar or tamborine... or triangle lettuce blow breath into the descant recorder of fbravity ice cream

"Yessssss! Lettuce!" ice cream.

Lettuce icecream

. ... .approaches the shrine of nighthoover with reverence... a bowl of lettuce icecream afore me in my hands... . . ..

. ... .bows... kneels... and carefully places the bowl of lettuce icecream at the base of the shrine...
then stands and backs up slowly... still bowing.. . . ..

. ... . .raises hands to heaven and beseeches "OHHHH NIGHTHOOVER..." icecream, "LETTUCE BE BLEST WITH YOUR PRESENTS!!"

Nighthoover sucks!

Mind you, Jeremy Irons but does Tom Cruise?

No, he doesn't. He jumps up and down on sofas and preaches to the masses.



Heyyy, that's an idea! What if we could get a vacuus-looking celebrity to promote Nighthooverism?

Maybe a fish. They look pretty vacuus. Does anybody know a celebrity fish?

Angelina Jolie?

That might work. We'll tell her it's a suffering 3rd-world kid, and she'll happily adopt our cause!