h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One of the rubbish parts of being pregnant is the water retention. I currently suffer from swollen hands, feet and face and it ain't the most attractive look. However, yesterday as I was stretching I made a fist with my right hand and when I straightened my fingers out something horrible happened. Imagine my reaction when my ring finger stayed curled! Ew!

It's not stuck or anything, I got it straightened again, but every so often it gets stuck in the same position. Although it's not serious and is just caused by the swelling, it's really freaky all the same - and now my middle finger is threatening to do it too...urgh!

Good god woman! at this rate you'l be able to get a new job as a Carnival freak! only kidding How long is it now until the alien pops out?

That would be such a cool job! I can see it now - "roll up, roll up, come and see the Curly Fingered Freak Girl!"

Baby's due on the 20th but hopefully it comes out sooner so I can have a decent drink

If it comes on the 14th the kid will always receive loads of cards on Valentines day and never be embarressed when asked the usual question.

Blimey... so how long have you been without having a drink? I once went two days....

It's not allowed to come on the 14th

How long have I gone without a drink? Hmmm...well, you can have like two units a week when you're pregnant although I seem to have gone off booze EV bought some non-alcoholic beer and although it tastes OK it's just not the same

Nurse this paitent needs intravenous CH3CH2OH immediately

Will that Red or White oor shall we break into possibly the Black Labelled.

Just be careful who you point your fingers at.

Oh, my pointing finger (index?) works just fine

Is it caused by the weight of gold and diamonds on that finger?

My fingers are too fat for rings

I kept my rings on a chain round my neck for seven months... And I had to wear my mom's shoes, or birkenstocks with adjustable sizes...

It will pass soon. I remember the pleasure of

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Going to the loo just after birth - finally a big wee!!!

I think I peed away 10 kg in one week. The other 10 kg stayed a little longer...

I haven't worn my wedding and engagement rings for months either. I don't mind it too much as I wear my wedding ring on a chain too I have to wear EV's socks though but even they are starting to cut into my ankles

Oooh, I hope I can just wee away the water retention! That would be bliss

It is...

I used to get that curly finger thing when I was choping wood back home in Sweden. It does feel really weird, not being able to straighten out your fingers.

Water retention is not funny... I got it with my first, but nothing with my second.

I hope they're keeping a tight eye on you if you are very swollen, there are associated complications such as pre-eclamsia... If you haven't already, just mention it to your midwife when you see them...

Just back from the midwife as it happens and all's well. She reckons if things get a lot worse (headache, dodgy vision, all that stuff) I should just give them a call. My hands aren't too bad today but they're too sore to do anything more strenuous than typing

Glad everything is ok

You poor thing, well not long now! Get EV to give you a nice massage!

He does give the best massages and the baby seems to like them too

Baby massage is a lovely thing to do. A woman in my office has just finished her training aond she loves oiling the little beasts up and giving them the once over. Apparently they quite like it as well. They seem to do it all the time in India but hardly ever over here.